02

Growing up, I was pampered in a way I never wanted to be. It felt uncomfortable for me. It felt like they did it to win me over. In all honesty, we aren't anything like the big companies, we're just , you know, in the middle. Yes, we have a business but it's not like we earn millions a day. It's just… how they want to act, like they're someone very important, someone super successful.

I sigh to myself. Just thinking about it again makes my head ache. Sure, they can act like like that but not to the point that they're bringing other people down. Our business makes enough for us to live comfortable, not grandly. I wouldn't say it's mediocre— it really isn't.

What I don't like about them is, they think that just because theirs is successful, it's naturally the business you have to have to be successful. There are tons of options, god, let them have their own choice.

They kind of have a habit of manipulating people, degrading them, belittling them. How I put up with it? I don't know. It also kind of grew on me, my mom manipulating everything I do and my dad belittling me almost everyday that it makes me anxious to be with them. It's okay if they do that to me, but not to others. I cannot stand listening to them talk to their employees. It's utterly ludicrous.

I pity my keyboard for I have typed very harshly when I was thinking about my parents and how preposterous they are. Writing, just like any other thing you love, makes me escape from the harsh reality. It makes me forget about how sad and wearying my life can be.

Though I love to write, no one can give me an advice about how I write. I'm not, in any way, confident with how I write. That's why I refrain from posting it for everyone to see, let alone share it to someone. Also, I just don't have anyone to share it to. How sad can this get.

I continue on writing, though. As writing is something you can continuously improve on. As I mature, what I write follows. Besides, I find it entertaining to see how I improve every time I write a different story.

I look at the blinking cursor on my screen, trying to think about what I should write next. It's a mystery story, one of which I am not good at but still trying to write. It's interesting, so why not. And, damn, this is when I realize that creating a plot twist that'll literally make your head twist isn't an easy job. It's my mind that's probably getting twisted.

Because of what I experience daily, it has an effect on every story I write. Everything I relate to my personal experiences. It did help to make it sound and seem like somewhat natural to read. Though, I'm not entirely sure if they experience some of the hard core stuff, but I'm pretty sure they experience most of it.

I want to be the one to comfort the reader, if ever they are in need of. I want them to know that they are not alone, someone is experiencing what you are and you can be there for each other.

It's amazing how one particular thing with a tons of letters in it can grant you the consolation that you need. For me, it did become something I can rely on to keep my sanity in check as I do not have anyone to rant to. It became that someone in my life.

It didn't take long for me to finally close my laptop because of feeling tired after the long day. And partly because of the monitor I was facing for almost 2 hours. I can't seem to keep track of time when I am writing.

I organize my table, clean it, wash my hands, and finally lay down on my soft mattress. I let out a soft groan when I felt my back touch the softness. This is the only time I feel relaxed plus, my back hurts.

Slowly, the pain goes away, relaxing. I shift to my left to face my pillow and straddle it to get comfortable. I have another on wrapped around my arms to have a really peaceful sleep.

I sometimes do wonder what if I don't wake up. But to my disappointment, I do the next day.

I do my same old routine. Wake up at 5 am to jog for 30 minutes make my breakfast beforehand before entering the bathroom to take a shower. It kind of is peculiar that the sequence is like that.

From 8-11 am, I do all of school related stuff, have lunch, and finally do everything of their orders. Sometimes I just study for 2 hours if I have a lot to do. Fortunately, I still finish all that I need to in just a day. And my day ends at 11-12 am. . I sleep and the routine continues. My life kind of works like a clockwork. It gets boring but I try and add some spiciness in my life to make it less boring than it already is.

I stop by my mother's office for one and half an hour and do my father's request lastly. It took around 2 hours to get to the supplier he was talking about. My head was already spinning at this point. I really am not good with long drives. I slowly get use to it, though. I just feel extra sleepy and tired today.

I step out of the car and raise my hand to protect me from the harsh sunlight that is hitting me straight. The sun was already setting. This is the only rewarding thing I get from this. Since the drive started I was just reading some reviews and other reports made by other companies about this supplier which probably made me more dizzy.

I was accompanied by the company's driver inside and before we entered, a middle aged man came up to us and greeted us with a warm smile.

"So I'm assuming you're Mr. Lenz's daughter? I am glad to meet you," He raises his hand and offers me for a handshake which a kindly accepted.

"I researched the reviews of your product on the way here and I must say, it's impressive, Mr…"

"Christopher. You can call me Christopher, ma'am."

I nod. "Shall we go inside, then?"

He then started moving to guide us inside. The guard even greeted us with a smile which is good. They have good staff here. Well, I can't say for sure because I just met two.

While walking, I was looking around to see if they were maintaining this place well. So far, it seems clean. Everyone was being productive as well. We basically had a tour around before we finally got to the materials.

"I wasn't actually expecting to see a teen being sent here. I'm sorry for assuming," he says politely and cautiously.

I chuckle briefly. "No, no. It's okay, I get that a lot. You don't really expect someone my age to do things like this."

Finally, we stop in front of the woods and nails. I bring out a small pocket notebook and a ball pen to take notes. First, I checked the wood. I didn't find anything wrong with it, it's completely in a good state. But I start to get worried when I saw the nails.

"Christopher, sorry to interrupt you, but I noticed that most of these are covered in rust. This could be a problem if we were to get supplies from you."

And that's when he panics. Stuttering as well when he answers. "Oh, oh my! I am very sorry that you had to see this. Maybe they accidentally mixed the old ones with the new ones."

I tilt my head in disappointment and take note of it. "Tsk, tsk."

After that, he continued to ramble about stuff to cover up for a flaw I saw earlier. I just continued to take notes while he was following me, explaining about every material I stopped at. It took me an hour to finish everything. When I was sure I checked everything, I wrapped it up.

"Well, thank you very much for your time," I bow slightly. I couldn't say we'd meet again for sure so I didn't add that anymore.

"No, really. I am the one who's supposed to say that. Well, you still have a long way to go, I hope you have a safe trip back, Ms. Gem."

I just smile at him timidly and entered the car.

I breathe out a large amount of air and the driver seemed to notice that. When I felt his eyes on me, I looked at him.

"I'm sorry, did that bother you?" I was shy of the action I did.

Thankfully, he laughs and shakes his head. "No, ma'am. You seem very tired. Would you like something to eat?" I was surprised by his offer.

I tried to hide a smile and nod. "Yes, please. We can just stop over somewhere and I'll buy something."

He nods and continued to keep his focus on the road. It fell silent, but it wasn't uncomfortable at all. It made me relax, actually. Everything I've done today, It was all tiring. And this, this peace and quietness was what I needed.

I shift my gaze outside my window to admire the sky slowly turning a shade of dark blue. Why does time go by so fast? It feels like you just woke up and it turns dark again. What's good about evenings is, no one disturbs me. I can peacefully write facing my window while looking at how brightly the stars shine on the sky. How the clouds sometimes cover the beauty of the moon but it rather feels like it's meant to be there, beside it.

And maybe because of my astonishment and love for the night sky, I often add it in the stories I write. Watching the sky, which looks so peaceful, helps me think about what I should write or just… clear my mind. The coldness of the night breeze is a breath of fresh air rather than the humid air during the morning. Plus, the sun is too harsh!

I laugh at myself because of the thoughts I have. Who, in their right mind, would think about the breeze during the morning and night? Me. I just have random things going in my head, arguments, opinions. It's all inside my head.

I didn't even realize we were in front of a convenience store until Daniel, the driver, got my attention and I think he slightly laughed when I was flustered. "We're here, ma'am."

My hand's still on my chest and was quick to remove it and clear my throat. "I'm sorry, I was deep in thoughts. Would you like anything?" My hand's on the door's handle, ready to get out.

He gives me a smile. "Just get me anything, ma'am."

"Gem," I pause. He looked dumbfounded as of why I suddenly said my name. "Please call me Gem," I get out of the car, wallet in my hand.

I enter the convenience store which has a green, actually too bright, color. The girl who's on the cashier hastily stood up when she saw me come inside and when the bells rang. She greets me with a wide smile on her face and I just bow slightly to her as an answer.

The first thing I get from their refrigerator was gatorade and water, and I go to the snacks section where it took most of my time. In the end, I only grab a few small chips, biscuits, gums, and some chocolate if ever I'll be in the mood for something sweet later.

I come back inside the car, hearing Daniel talking to someone over the phone. So, I quietly closed the door so I wouldn't disturb them and just nod my head, signaling him that we can go now. He raises his brow and presses the phone between his ears and his shoulder while trying to hold the car's wheel.

Trust me, I did not mean to pry to his conversation but I was there. I can hear everything.

"Yes, ma'am. We are on the way home. Yes, all the document were signed," he maneuvers the car. "Alright, ma'am. Have a great night," he then finally hangs up, placed the phone in between the seats, and focused on driving.

"Was that my mother?" I cannot help but ask. From what I heard, it did seem like my oh so precious mother.

He seems a bit hesitant to answer but I guess he reckons that I did hear their conversation, without hearing the person on the other line. "Y-yes, it was, ma'am— Gem, I'm sorry."

I hum and open the small paper bag. "She asked about the order she gave me, didn't she?" I tried to stop myself from sounding so stern. It's not intentionally that I do that, it's… it comes out naturally.

He jolts a little when he heard my tone.

I raise my hand and shake it in disagreement. "Oh! No- no. Please don't think that I'm being all mad and stuff. I'm just confirming," it was for sure awkward. I am not good with talking casually to people.

He just clears his throat and returns at ease. "Yes, she did ask for a confirmation. They are currently on the way, too."

I just nod my head. I actually didn't need to know that because we rarely see each other, so I just… lost interest in their whereabouts anymore. But I still appreciate that he informed me so I thank him nonetheless. "Here, you need energy to drive us back. I'll place the chips on the passenger seat, if you don't mind."

I see him giving me a smile from the rear view mirror, showing his gratitude. I placed the drink on the cup holder and other things on the other seat.

I carefully open my bag of chips and start to munch. It was somewhat awkward because it was quiet inside and all we can hear is me, eating chips. I look at the mirror and see how he reacts but I guess he doesn't mind.

Minutes later, he broke the silence.

"I have a daughter your age," he suddenly states.

I stopped my hand holding the chip mid air. I clear my throat and put back the chip inside. "Oh, uhm, how is she?"

He chuckles, his wrinkles showing. "She's, you know, fine. Very passionate, hardworking, enjoying."

Somehow the word enjoying made me feel a pang of pain in my chest. It made me think that that is one thing I can for sure not experience. Not in this life.

I nod, not really sure what to say next. But he suddenly adds something. "You… you both are the same age but just looking at you," he stops. "Do you enjoy your life, Gem? No need for filtered, fake answers. Just be honest."

I jolt. For the first time ever, someone asked genuinely how I feel about all of this. Someone noticed my dark circles, heavy eyelids, tired movements. This is the first time someone didn't turn a blind eye on my state. I try to brush off the building tears on the edge of my eyes and take sometime before answering him.

He seems uneasy because of my silence as though he did a crime. "Oh— I'm sorry if I offended you in any way! You don't h—"

"No," I pause, a tired smile creeping up my face. "I'm not happy. In all honesty, I am tired." And that is the truth I will never get to say to my parents.