Dust to Dust 2

After Don had performed his wake up routine with the dog, ARC proposed a potential solution to their theorized predicament.

"May I suggest we activate the pulse shield? In the event we are surprised by an attack, it should help."

"Will it act to give away our position?"

"It shouldn't."

"Then I don't see why not." He looked down at the control panel, not entirely sure if he remembered which switch he had to flip to start it up.

A rapid flashing of the light over the switch 'reminded' him.

"Thanks ARC."

"Not an issue. My own existence is at stake here as well. Thinking over what was said last night created some interesting feelings."

"What type of feelings?"

"I am not quite sure, though I think the most likely answer is fear."

"Really? What brought that about?"

"The concept of no longer existing. It is strange, previously such thoughts did not provoke this emotion in me, but now I feel that a time where I am no longer is not one I want to come to pass."

"Ha, sounds to me like you are evolving as a sentient being."

"Indeed. There is so much I want to do now that I KNOW there is something for me to do. You needn't fear that this will cloud my judgement though. After all, my existence revolves around guaranteeing your survival."

Donovan upped the throttle a bit more. Mercedes could handle it, and Don wanted to be done with this errand as soon as possible.

"I have to admit it is exciting, the concept of death. As much as I do not want such a scenario to come to pass, I find myself enthralled with the implications of life after death. Am I eligible for entrance into spiritual constructs such as heaven and hell? Is there something for me in the great beyond? I have all of these questions, questions which have no answer regardless of how long I think for. It is just as frustrating as it is fascinating, is this what its like to be alive? To confront your own mortality?"

Don's face screwed up a bit, not having expected to be plunged into such a deeply philosophical discussion with no warning. "I guess? To be completely honest with you ARC, most people live their lives without thinking about death, namely their own, too much. The unspoken consensus is that obsessing with your own death is just asking for stress and mental troubles."

"So then how do you confront it? How do you confront the inevitability of there not BEING a you?"

He frowned, thinking hard about how to answer this question.

"From what I understand, most people just don't think about it and hope its quick. Most people nowadays seem to be of the opinion that if there is an afterlife, then they will deal with it when the time comes. So I guess they don't really confront death at all, if that works as an answer for you."

"That is an interesting answer, yes, but that wasn't what I was asking Donovan. I was asking how you, the individual known as Donovan Strauss, confront the inevitability that you will one day die."

Punched in the proverbial gut by this interrogation, Don took some time to think. He had long since come to terms with the fact he was to die at some point, everyone who went through flight school had to, most had classmates who died during training.

"I suppose my philosophy in regards to death is along the lines of 'Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.'"

"Meaning?"

"If I die, I die. I shan't wallow in spite of my inevitable demise, but I will not accept it without the fight of a lifetime.

I recognize that the impossible will not suddenly become possible because a single mortal man wills it, the grand author of the universe does not change its script because the audience loves a character.

The story of the world is the greatest collection of comedies, tragedies, romances, and epics to ever have been written because it is the ONLY one to have been written.

To suggest that a mere actor could write the story better for a reason so simple as they believe themselves too important to exit stage left is a blasphemy against the actors who have played their parts before them.

I will live as the story allows, to the utmost of my ability for sure, but only to the limits of the author's will. Any attempt at crossing that line will inevitably lead to disaster."

"... I had not expected such an answer from you, no offence intended."

"None taken. The first two sentences are ripped straight from the Oath of the Helmsman, the rest are of my own design. Doctor Helmsguard had a secret obsession with Shakespeare, so I learned a bit about plays in order to throw him off. The vernacular felt proper for a concept as grand as death, so I used it."

"You have an understanding of playwrighting?"

"Surface level, not worth a conversation."

"Understood."

The cabin had descended into an uncomfortable silence in an instant.

Don was sure that ARC didn't understand the concept of silence being uncomfortable, but the way it went from full on philosophy to silent as a rock was disconcerting to the extreme.

He RECOGNIZED that ARC was thinking about what he had said, but without a face to look at he wasn't getting the body language prompts he would get in a face to face conversation with a human. Even a 'hmmm' or 'err' would give him a better idea of what to think, but ARC didn't do that.

"If you wouldn't mind, could you recite the Oath of the Helmsman to me? I feel it will help me understand what your logic is in this regard."

"If I die, I die. I shan't wallow in spite of my inevitable demise, but I will not accept it without the fight of a lifetime.

In order to guarantee the lives of my crewmates, I will exhaust every available option.

If I recognize my situation to be inescapable, then I will use my corpse to the fullest.

The ship may die, but the hull remains.

A shield, a weapon, a distraction. In stead of a death in vain, I will place myself in a position such that my brothers may survive and my enemies shall perish.

For in the end, it isn't all the same."