Chapter 2.5
It's nice to have a weekend of rest, with all that's been happening.
So far, I've spent most of the time laying on my bunk at the barracks, in my coziest pair of boxer shorts and button-up pajamas--appreciating the rare moment of silence, while all the other low-ranks are at their weekend mandatory work sessions in the Irorishiro administrative staff offices: mostly sorting through, or confirming and filing student mission reports.
I have been graced with a break from all regular responsibilities while a verdict is still being reached on the case of Flarelissa's death--to determine whether I had used my powers to kill willfully, or if it was truly unintentional.
Essentially: whether I'm a coldblooded murderer, or just a clueless idiot.
Either way, it seems like my reputation has already undergone a complete reversal, as instead of whispers and laughter behind my back, I've noticed the other girls aren't whispering, calling me names behind my back like they used to; they're walking up to me, curiously asking if the rumors are true, how my powers work…
By the way, isn't it strange? How I was allowed to go into that match with powers completely unknown to everyone, against someone whose powers I'd completely worked out ahead of time?
It almost was like...a rigged match.
Like it was expected I'd make a spectacle out of defeating one of the worst performing students in my debut as Alice.
Almost like...Flarelissa was meant to die.
As I'm struck by such a morbid thought, I touch at the soft, fleshy mark across my right cheek: a scar from where her burning hair had made contact against my bare skin. Of course, through the advancements in medicinal technology of today, I could have easily had it removed, however…
I chose not to. Instead, I want to keep it.
I'll let it serve as an eternal reminder of what happens if I'm reckless.
As well as of Flarelissa--
Whom, throughout all this, everyone has seemed to brush aside.
But wasn't she a person like anyone else?
Didn't she have friends and family too?
It wasn't her fault she was cursed with terrible powers--it was determined by complete random when she first activated her Charming Form with a modified Ring.
Does our culture only praise the strong, and leave the weak to die?
This new "Charming Ring" culture?
My stomach starts grumbling, so I go into the small kitchen connected to the barracks and inspect the cupboards for something to eat.
Tch. These girls are like locuses, so I'm fortunate to find a single pack of ramen.
Meal pills are okay substitutes, but…
In my opinion, even a bland bowl of ramen without any seasonings or toppings is preferable.
Just because there's a texture to it.
It feels more…"real."
Well, if I were to attempt to get philosophical about it, I guess in a society where everyone is disguised as a little girl, where "simulation rooms" and meal pills exist, where even the windows in a classroom are false projections--
The whole concept of "reality" has become "illusion."
After two minutes in the microwave, my deliciously tasteless, low-nutrition meal is finished, and I couldn't be happier to sit down with it:
To take in the aroma of its bland artificial flavorings…
To feel the hot steam rising up, and wrapping my face in perspiration…
To twist the noodles around my fork and bring the fork to my mouth…
To eat and enjoy something that is "real."
Something a Meal Pill can't replicate.
As I'm sitting there, at the small dining table, slowly relishing every mediocre bite, though, I suddenly remember…
That tomorrow, it'll finally be the day--
I'll finally be getting my Charm Ring back.
Though, I feel nervous just thinking about it, more than anything…
Having to see Ms. Berlin again...
Why did she kiss me in the lockers? Was it just supposed to be her way of trying to calm me down, or did it represent more?
As well, having to adjust to being Alex again…
Won't it be like "killing off" this version of me, same as I had to with Alex?
*Sigh* I don't know. It's all too weird, and I really just want to enjoy my boring "real" noodles in peace, without having to think about such things.
Then again, maybe that's the first step in losing oneself to the "illusion":
To just stop thinking about it entirely.
…
...
I wait until the bell rings to go inside, just as my classmates are rising from their seats, still just dressed in my pajamas with my hair in a total mess.
The first thing I notice is Flarelissa's empty desk, as I feel the mark on my face again.
Ms. Berlin walks up beside me--
Patting me on the shoulder as I continue to stare.
"It happens in war, kiddo."
"Some of us just aren't gonna make it."
I turned to her, unable to believe what I was hearing.
"It wasn't war, though!"
"Nobody...was supposed to die…"
I look away, hiding my burgeoning emotion.
"It's only because...I fucked up."
She moves in front of me, planting her hands on my shoulders and crouching to meet my level.
"Every DAY is a war, in this academy."
"Whether you're fighting for respect, or for status; whether it's to grow stronger to serve your own ends, or to use that power to protect others."
She tilts my head, forcing me to face her.
"You're still holding on to your human emotions."
She brushes a thumb across my face.
"That's why I'm rooting for you, and want to support you in any way I can--so you can succeed in this world without becoming fully turned, even if it's more difficult."
I find myself speechless.
Looking into her eyes, now...I feel…
The same as I did whenever I was with Dusk, during my brief stay in Steakhouse that's already begun to seem more and more like a faded, distant dream…
Isn't this...wrong, though?
Is it like I'm cheating on Dusk? With a TEACHER, no less?
But, I have to really wonder…
Did Dusk even have feelings for me to begin with?
And for that matter, does Ms. Berlin really have feelings for me either? Or, is she just desperate like Miki and Miko were at first--because I'm the only guy around?
Do things like that even matter, after the collapse?
Isn't it...my sworn duty…
As...one of the last remaining males, to--
Ms. Berlin draws out my hand, placing my Charm Ring at the center of the palm.
"You're remembering now, aren't you?"
"What your "real" identity is…"
"Alex Strangelove."
She carefully closes my fingers, around the Charm Ring.
...except, I know they aren't MY fingers.
These are...Alice's fingers...
She draws in close to my face, breathing hot and heavy almost like she's panting, but talking like she doesn't want anyone else in the world to hear except me:
"If you're still unsure which is real…"
"I can't tell you whether Alice or Alex is the right choice, but--"
Her lips are right next to my ear--
"Only one of them gets to sleep with me."
My Alice form fades--reacting instantly to my restrengthened will--as just like that, I am Alex again: plain old, sweatshirt and glasses wearing, trying too hard to look cool whilst completely lacking the charisma…
Alex Strangelove.
And yet, despite my "cheap ramen" style--
I'm making love with the most beautiful woman I've ever seen!
I throw my Charm Ring aside--
As I can hear Alice furiously protesting:
"GRRR! You stupid, horny BASTARD!"
'Did you seriously lock me back in here, just so you can FUCK your teacher?!"
I pull Ms. Berlin with me, to the ground.
Pausing, I ask her:
"Is it okay if we do it here?"
Which she quickly answers, saying:
"My next class is with higher ranks, in the lecture hall."
"But screw it--I'd rather kill time with you."
Ehhhh? "Killing time," she calls it?
Cocky BITCH!
We're curling and writhing against each other on the cold, metal floor--
Frantically stripping away each other's clothes: desperate to release both of our pent up tensions, after it's been building for so long.
I'm inexperienced, but I suppose the passion is there:
As I'm groping freely at her bare breasts--
Now that I have her pinned under me!
And it's...amazing!
Th-they're oozing out of my palms!
They're so huge, and warm, and squishy, with such soft, perfectly pink nipples--
But also, definitely not fake!
These glorious breasts are definitely "real!"
"Such a child." She says, smirking, just before flipping us around--so that she's on top, pinning me beneath the weight of her tremendously thick thighs.
My eyes go wide at another realization.
"Right now...I'm inside…" Of her.
"Ms. Berlin, is this--"
She holds a finger to my mouth, with a slow "shuuush."
"Call me by my first name, from now on."
She whispers: "Alice."
"What?!" I exclaim--in unison with Alice, in my Charm Ring.
Huh. That's a funny coincidence.
Before I can think more on it, though--
She starts slamming her solid, packed hips against me--
As I grab on, clinging for dear life--
Digging my nails into the tender yet firm meat, of her perfectly hourglass-curved lower torso--
Squeezing firmly, as I'm hypnotically watching her breasts bob and bounce, losing myself to her tiny squeaks and moans of pleasure, like it's my favorite song playing on the radio back when radio stations still existed.
I can't deny it, anymore...
I'm really and truly in love with this woman.
Not in the same kind of way I love Dusk, but in a more primal, physical sense that's impossible to ignore.
Does this...make me a weak person?
I really don't know for sure.
What's more--
I don't WANT to know right now.
I want to FEEL the moment, and cherish it.
That's why--although it's difficult through "Alice's" repeated thrusts, and her warm flesh smothered against me--I try to hold my climax for as long as I can.
In doing so, I can make it so this experience...
This brief, fleeting moment of undeniable "realness"...
Will last.
Nonetheless, all things must eventually pass.
Yet, the feeling that's risen up inside me...
BURSTING forth, like a ball of fire--
It prevails, as I go about the remainder of my day; like a roaring furnace built into my chest, and I'm a train on a track that just has to keep pushing forward.
Flarelissa's death will be in vain if I don't...
Dusk's life will be in danger if I don't become strong enough...
I won't be able to face myself with pride!
After school, I unite with Miki, Miko and Blitz for our previously planned celebration in honor of me regaining my Charm Ring. But even though they'd gone through all the trouble of baking a cake, and finding us a nice simulation: of a city park on a clear, sunny day--
It all goes to waste, as I just grab Miki and Miko close to me right as we enter the simulation, leading to us spending the rest of the afternoon just making out, even after Blitz leaves with a horrified look.
Blitz...I'm sorry, I think to myself, as I'm running my hands through the girls' unbuttoned shirts--
Trading kisses between them--
Sharing in their laughter, as we roll through the grass together--
Pinning them, and letting myself be pinned against park benches, and walls, a pointed, wrought-iron fence; like we're experimenting to see which feels the most sexy, which I guess is literally the case--
In this false reality: of a park with no other people in it--
Although it still feels like we're being indecent.
We finally settle to the ground, stripping down to our underwears, ignoring the cascading cold sheets of water suddenly raining down on us--issuing from a set of just-activated lawn sprinklers.
Surprisingly, Miki is the more reserved one; allowing me to take lead, whereas Miko is an assertive biter, and a fighter.
All the while, the furnace in me...
Keeps growing, and growing, ever stronger and brighter.
And I think I have a name for it, now.
I call it my "inner warrior."