There's Got To Be A Reason

Sterling

I took in a deep breath and let it out as I sat in the waiting room. As much as I didn't want to be here, I needed to stick it out. I promised my grandfather I would do this and I promised Isabelle that my issues would be addressed. I can't let them down.

"Sterling Tipton." An older gentleman called out my name, then his eyes looked over at me. "I'm ready for you."

Getting up from my seat, I walked over to the doorway and stepped inside the office. I looked around the room, noticing a couch and then a chair across from it. The only other things in the room were a few bookshelves and a desk.

"Have a seat." The psychiatrist, Dr. Dixon, suggested as he closed the door and headed for the chair in the room.

I took a seat on the couch and looked at him. I feel uncomfortable, I'm not sure what I'm supposed to say or do. I've never done something like this before.

Dr. Dixon seemed to pick up on my discomfort. "Why don't you tell me what's brought you in here?"

"My grandfather wants me to be assessed for bipolar disorder." I informed him. "My aunt has it and my cousin has it as well. Due to some recent actions he figured it couldn't hurt to check into it."

"Okay." Dr. Dixon nodded. "Do you think you need to be assessed?"

"I-I don't know." I let out a low sigh. "Honestly, I don't think it could hurt. I will admit that I get angry very easily, like there's a switch that gets flipped and next thing I know I'm saying something I shouldn't. There's got to be a reason for that, I want to know what it is."

"That makes sense. I'm more than happy to help you get to the bottom of this." Dr. Dixon paused for a moment as he grabbed a clipboard and put a paper on it. He stood up and then passed it over to me with a pen. "To get started, I want you to fill out this questionnaire. It'll help give me an idea of what exactly we're dealing with."

"Alright."

I began to go through the paper, going through each question one by one. It has me rate how I feel about certain social interactions and how I deal with things. Some are about my temper and some go into depression.

When I finished the questionnaire, I handed the clipboard and pen back to Dr. Dixon. I watched anxiously as he went through my answers and took notes on his paper. He was silent the entire time which has me on edge.

He finally finished looking over the assessment and placed his clipboard in his lap. His eyes met mine and I felt my stomach twist. It's taking everything within me to not want to get up and leave this office.

"Looking over the assessment, I can tell where there are areas that you're struggling with." He informed me as he continued to look at me. "By some of the answers, I don't think you're bipolar. I think these issues you're having developed long ago."

My brow raised. "How long ago?"

"I'm not sure about that yet." I can feel he was studying me. "Could be one event that triggered your brain to put up defenses, or it could be something that happened in your childhood."

"My money would be on that one." A low scoff escaped my throat. "Kind of had a fucked up childhood for awhile."

He scribbled something down on the paper and then looked up at me. "Why's that?"

"I don't know very many children that spend the first six years of their lives in an orphanage." I responded honestly. "To add to that, I spent over a year wondering why my father who was just down the street never came to see me."

Dr. Dixon nodded and wrote down some more. "Why don't we talk a little more about the orphanage?"

"What about it?" I shrugged.

"How were things when you were there?" He probed further. "How did you get along with the other children?"

"I got along with most of them. We'd have our occasional disagreements but that's about it." I answered. "The only time I really got into it with anyone was if someone was mean to the girl I got close with, that same girl happens to be my girlfriend now."

He wrote some more on his paper. "Okay. Is there any reason in particular you'd get involved?"

"I felt like I needed to protect her." I casually shrugged. "I still feel like I need to protect her, but the problem is the one hurting her has been me lately. That's another reason why I've come here. I need to stop hurting her."

The appointment went on a little longer and by the time it was over, I felt a little more comfortable. Dr. Dixon scheduled me to come back in a week, that way we can go into things a little more and hopefully figure out something to help me get my emotions under control.

I walked out of the building and to my car, starting it up to get back to work. Just the hour I've been gone is too long. With all of the responsibility on me right now it's important that I keep everything going and in order at Tipton Enterprises.

As I drove through the town and got closer to the Tipton Enterprises, I passed by the bakery. I glanced at it and I felt my chest tighten. I'm back to square one on giving it to her, if I do it now she'll think it's because I'm using it as an apology for the way I treated her.

The bakery is supposed to be something she loves, a place for her to do what she truly wants to do. She has an amazing gift and I want her to be able to share it with the world. I just don't want that all to be tainted because I fucked up.

So I feel like the best thing to do is to wait a little longer. The building has been bought and the forms are still good, waiting isn't going to be the end of the world. It's just until we're on good terms again which shouldn't take too long since I've taken this first step.