Commitment

I waved her and she waved back. I don't know how I will reach my home. I followed the small jungle path leading to the east side of the big forest.

I looked at her still standing on the verandah gazing at me. I didn't believe that I have left her. I promise to come back I said it within my life system. I looked back and didn't see anything but the huge forest and a small puff of smoke rising up from her house. I cried but I can't stay with her without telling mom that there's a lovely bird in the middle of the thick forest. I didn't know the real direction I was heading to. With confidence I walk through the forest and reached to a River. Hello there! I'm Richard where is the way to Umuru village? The woman looked at me and pointed to the west side. What's your name? She didn't respond but just pointed out the same direction. I discovered later that she can hear but can't talk. I left her and followed the directions she gave me. The wind was blowing hard which required one to be committed to the journey. slowly but steadily I walked. The trees were making noise in the forest. The birds singing in the sky. I could see some clouds at a distance. The sun was shining but not as hot as hell. I loved the nature. I disappeared in the thick forest which joins the mountain ahead. darkness was all over again. Asking myself to go back to that strangers house was too late. It could take another tiresome journey. Richard be strong!!!! someone behind my back whispered so softly. I looked back only to see darkness all over.

Insects were cracking down all over the forest. Fear clothed my heart. You can not change this but be committed to move forward.....it was my imagination now. I remembered what my grandfather used to say in times like these. "when you are in danger bite your small finger of your right hand and continue with your journey." I did it but my immotional were uncontrollable. My hair could tell that something unusual can germinate within the forest. Last week some Hyenas were killed by people in my village of killing goats. I witnessed the scene. This feeling added more of fear within me. A branch from a tree made a great noise. I shouted out loud only to awake some sleeping animals. I stopped for a while to make sure a'm not spotted by some dangerous animals. Love is a different story. It needs commitments. I wished to be back to that strangers house. I walked straight though my legs were heavy. The journey was very tiresome. I almost fainted. All my hope was gone. I remembered the kisses she gave me. The tea and the so called TV. No one can choose to sleep in a thick forest but to push on until all is done. My steps were reduced to a snails pace. Love is amazing and no one can predict it. I slept behind a tree. she touched me and touched her back. The house was almost empty. We were two of us. I had no limitations in touching her. No one knew it was a dream. Her figures could appear within my brain. Fair smooth skin I have never seen was all over my hands. Her tenderness and care touched my heart. I failed to breathe but to touch her the other part. This is beyond love Richard" she said. I sensed something different within her chin. A girl with beards before it was too late I shouted. Help me!!!!!! I started running away from her site.

Richard!!! is this you? I opened my eyes only to discover I'm in my mother's shamba. What happened and where I'm I? "Some strangers brought you here from the thick forest" she said. I looked at her with the eyes of unexpected gaze. can you please explain to me Mom? I heard her steps leading to the kitchen. ignoring my questions.

Two elderly men entered the house. I heard a very long discussion with my mom and dad.

I didn't thought of greeting them since I was tired and wondering of how I'm in that state. She looked at me and I look back. "what happened? she asked." ma'am I will explain later allow me to rest. Her usual eyes were on me again. I saw her sobbing but I didn't want to ask her several questions. Her discomfort could be seen from a distance. I should explain where I was, what happened and how it happened. As a mother I did understood the reason why. She's a mother and the weeks I was not around was a year to her calendar. I cleared my throat and coughed a little bit. The men left the house being escorted by Papa. I was wondering and curious to know why our shamba was visited by such strangers. I waited for evening hours. The day was gone already, the night was fast approaching. I watched mom in her usual attire preparing food for us. In her usual Chitenje dress with her black plastic shoes borrowed from her elder sister Naomi in another village some in-calculated miles away. Richard!!! I was nervous to hear papa calling me in such a loud voice. you should not wait for him to call you twice. I responded while rushing towards his direction. His eyes were wide open. You could sense from a distance that he's angry. His bloodshot eyes could tell you that something undiscribable will happen within a mean time. I didn't bother to say here I am. where have you been? The question welcomed me. it's a long story. "I responded with fear all over my body" what happened? I stummered. is it wealth of telling him all what happened? I .....I ....I went missing after the football game" Tell me how old are you? He started unfolding his anger towards me. He stood up and started implementing his steps towards my direction. I felt like urinating but it was too late. I felt shame to be beaten in front of my young brothers and sisters. Can't you allow him to explain? mama interjected. it was a great sign of relief. I explained everything he wanted to know. so you are married to that stranger? No....no....no it was just a coincidence but I'm still waiting for her visitation soon.

I appreciated the efforts mom took that day. That's the beauty of being a good and great mother. I went back to eat in the kitchen. "Next time please take your young brother when you want to have a walk to avoid such mistakes in life my son."... I nodded my head but with full of disapproval in my heart. AM a grown up man why should someone escort me? It was a daily news. my ma'am could always check on me now and then. I was being monitored like a child. I hated the development. They told me to be staying with my young brother at the shamba. A very small room two people. Life became hard again. I thought of escaping from my own house to stay with that amazing girl some miles away. I was very committed to the fact that they're my parents and in fact elders. Life was really unfair. I could keep my food in the small house of mine later to find my young brother has eaten it all. putting my little stuff in order within some minutes to find out that all has been devastated or misplaced. I was poor in education but common sense was within me.

Things are to be in order my brother, "I said" why can't you come up with a great decision in your life? He asked me while we were about to sleep. we had a great chat that night. "I thought you can not help me in thinking" He looked at me and I looked at him again and again. My eye's were full of joy like a little baby craving for milk. I thought it was too but it was not. I did not sleep that night. Thinking of what to do and what made my little brother to share such great decision. I looked at him snoring in a small space bracket. "This little man has wisdom"....I prayed that it should be very fast to see the morning.

I decided to sleep so that I should be strong in the morning. The scene was great. The people in the dream were different from our village. I walked straight following the familiar tall buildings. No one seemed to be struggling. Everyone was busy with his business. it was a clean place with high class people. Dressed nicely and there attire could show that they're in a working class. I saw car's beyond our political leaders driving machines. I admired to create friends but it was hard. I hardly had education in my life. I moved closer to a certain tall building only to hear someone calling my name.

I woke up it was already in the morning.

I walked straight to where ma'am was sitting. Mom how are you? She looked at me and said; "what has made you to greet me with all your strength today? I looked at her and gathered some strength. I stretched forth my hands. she watched it all.

some decisions needs commitments. I said it to her. I saw something ma'am. I narrated all what I saw. my papa intervention disturbed us all. "all what you know is to deceive your mom with fake dreams Richard!!!!! Can't you see that you are growing up? I saw all the anger in his body, his eyes could tell that something is really wrong. I left the scene avoiding him. "Even if you run away we shall meet in the evening!!" This is all I heard him speaking at a distance.

I vowed that I will not go to their shamba again. I went straight to my small shamba and start crying. I was just innocent in telling her what I saw. It was my dream not his dream. I looked at myself. tears all over my chick's. Being an elder brother in the house. No school,no business only the Matoke farm and some fruits around my small thatched village house.

It was really hard to understand myself and what happened in the morning. Some plate's were brought in by my young brother. we eat together while discussing some issues. I trusted him this time. He told me to be a man not a woman in all my decisions. I agreed to move forward with great and strong decisions. we agreed to transform the farm into something great though we didn't had enough resources. I can't believe my young brother has all this knowledge and skills including wisdom to share with me. "what has made you to come up with all these ideas and where have you been?. My little brother looked at me and said; I know you are our elder brother and it pains me to see you struggling. The levels of poverty are unbelievable. We are living below poverty line and it is a hand to mouth service. I jumped off the small chair just to understand what this little man is saying.

Brother in all the decisions we need to be committed. yes...I agree with you....I....I.... will see what to do. In my mind came up the image of my father again but I heard my young brother saying; Don't mind about what papa is doing. That's a good way of creating great things in us.

We looked at each other and smiled. It was my first day to enjoy the meal while chatting with my little brother. We agreed to meet ma'am with such great ideas.

The evening was fast approaching but I was afraid to see ma'am. The past wounds were still fresh. I gathered my courage and strength to see her.