APRIL 17TH - THE DAY I MET YOU
"I'm at the edge. I can't do this anymore… I'm sorry..". That was the last text I had ever gotten from you. Hearing your voice as I read that text made my heart sink. The same voice I fell in love with would never say those words. Multiple questions and thoughts raced through my mind as I rode my bike to you. It was the middle of winter; you had everything planned out for me to not reach you in time. One thing you didn't know about me, is that I loved you, and I would have ran to the bridge if I had to. It was freezing, especially for a guy who was wearing a thin jacket like mine. As I thought of all the things I did wrong or all the things I could have done more of, a stomach pit formed as our first memory together replayed in my head.
We were only in 10th grade, the year I'd never forget. We lived in 2 different worlds, yet I still watched you from afar. Being known as the "most popular guy in school" doesn't fit with the label of falling in love with the shy guy. Your "best friend" was my ex. He had a bad influence on everyone he met and I knew he could possibly be hurting you. My friends assumed I watched your friend group because I missed him, but all I could do was stare at you. Everything was perfect about you; your fluffy ginger hair that shimmered under the sun, your perfect green eyes that would light up whenever you knew the answer to a question, the way your long eyelashes fluttered like butterflies and each of your freckles was like another ray of sunlight into your calming forest. The forest that I would never escape from, the forest that drew me in and made me curious about what was on the other side, the forest that I thought I would never get to know.
I was on my way home on the same bridge you were at. Since it started snowing, I held my bike and walked beside it; you always knew I hated riding it during winter. Your friends were not always the best to you, and I knew that. I just didn't know what stopped me from confronting either you or them about it earlier. April 17th - the day our eyes locked, the day we first spoke to each other, and the day I met you. You could hear the chants from your so-called friends from the other side of the bridge, cheering for you to jump into the river. I froze up; that was a 6 feet drop with no protection and fast moving water. As your feet were inching closer and closer to the edge, I knew I couldn't let this slide. I threw my bike to the ground and stepped into action; I didn't expect them to be so terrified after being confronted. Nor, did I expect a hug from you after they were gone; I froze up again.
"If your friends jumped off a bridge, would you?" Your voice is shaky, but warm; still being able to melt my heart regardless.
Automatically, I replied with no, and those were the very first words I heard come out of your soft lips. In the end, we exchanged numbers and you skipped off, with your hair flopping from side to side as I stood there in disbelief.