Comfort

"Noo!" I scream and stand in front of Alex to protect him because I'm sure Spencer wants to rip apart his entire being. "Emerald, move." Spencer's voice is slightly threatening and it sends a shiver down my spine. "What is your problem with him anyways?" I ask, throwing my hands up in the air hysterically. A few people passing give me looks as if I'm a maniac, which I probably look like one because that's the side my bestfriend brings out in me. "He is the problem." Spencer says putting extra emphasis on the 'he'. I turn to Alex. He should be scared, but he isn't. I'm the only person who is scared of Spencer, even though she's my bestfriend. I'm not going to stop talking to Alex just because Spencer doesn't seem to like him. I know I only met him yesterday but he doesn't seem to be any harm to me, or to anyone else for that matter. "You should go. I'll see you around." I tell Alex and he looks at Spencer and walks away as calmly as someone can manage with Spencer giving them the death glare. "Seriously?" Spencer argues. "You know I don't like him. You run away from me and ontop of that you're hanging out with that...." Spencer trails off when she realizes that a group of kids are watching her and listening every word. I laugh and watch as Spencer swallows her words. When we walk off, she mumbles, "You'll hear the end of that sentence when we get back to the pack...uh I mean house." Spencer fumbles and I can't help but laugh. Oddly I feel like I'm having an argument with my lover, but that's basically what Spencer is. My non kissing soulmate. She might be crazy and over dramatic all the time but I'm stuck with her as much as she's stuck with me. We both get in the car, with comfortable silence. As I said earlier, Spencer cannot tell me who I should or shouldn't talk to. I know she means well but I refuse to let her control me. "Spencer?" I hear her sigh before she looks back at me from the driver's seat. "Yes Emerald?" I know she's only pretending to be mad at me but I'm not going to be angry with her over something so irrelevant. "What are you getting me for my birthday?" I ask and Spencer frowns. "Your birthday?" She repeats and my stomach drops. Here I am talking about irrelevancy and my bestfriend forgot my birthday is 4 days from now. "My birthday is Friday. As in on Halloween Day." I can feel the warm tears forming in my eyes but I refuse to cry. I cannot believe Spence forgot my birthday. "I was just kidding. Of course I remember your birthday." She says nervously and I know that she's lying. By now we've pulled up to Liam's house. "Yeah." I say in a small voice that sounds pathetic and weak. I get out of the car and run inside. I don't even know where to go. I don't belong here. I don't belong anywhere. There are people walking around and they don't even seem to notice me. Have I turned into a ghost? Everyone's swarming me but I feel so cold and alone. I feel the fresh, warm tears as they drip from on my cheek to my chest. Suddenly I'm pulled into a hug as my feet betray me.

A few conscious minutes later

The person's scent is overwhelmingly manly and I think I'm imagining this but sparks are fizzing in my entire being and I feel like the fireworks from the fourth of July are present and erupting right now in my body. I look up at the person who I am currently clinging to like a bear and I see Liam's jade colored eyes staring back at me with sympathy and worry. That's so like me to break down in public and then hug a random stranger. Way to go Emerald. I can almost see my subconscious rolling her eyes at my desperation. Liam pulls away from the hug and I already miss his warm presence. There's something about him that makes me feel like I can trust him. That he will never hurt me, and he'll keep me safe. But my instincts aren't always accurate as I make them out to be. As my bestfriend said, I am naive. Too naive for my own good. "Are you okay?" Liam asks with genuine concern in his voice. I am such a terrible person: I run from person to person for comfort, burdening them with the trash details of what I call life, hoping that I'll feel whole because I feel so lost. Not anymore. I'll just smile through my burns and pretend like I'm okay even if I'm not because I have to go through all of this myself. I'm almost eighteen, an adult at that, so I need to start behaving like one. Liam takes my hand and gently leads me outside but I pull back, making him stop instantly. "I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable. It's just that you looked so unhappy back there and it made me feel broken and sad." Liam says. His eyes are buried deep into my soul, searching and his fixed gazed is too intense so I look away. "I don't want to be a burden to you." I say in a quiet voice, more to myself than him. I need to be more independent, face my struggles by myself and fight my own battles because no one is going to fight them for me. "You aren't a burden to me and you will never be." The words sound true. Too true. "You probably think I'm pathetic but I don't blame you. I just wish I knew who I am so I could know what to do. And try to be a better person. I'm always depending on people, pretending to be someone I'm not. I don't have any friends, my bestfriend probably hates me now and I'm just tired. I need space from everyone and everything." I let everything out. I am stupid for telling Liam all of this but I had to tell someone who would listen before it exploded inside of me like a bomb. "Look at me." Liam tilts my chin so that I can look at him and my knees almost buckle under his touch. "Even though I haven't known you for that long, I can tell you who you are. You're a loyal friend to Spencer, an amazing daughter to your parents and a excellent sister to your brothers. You're always kind to everyone around you and you are one of the most genuine persons I've ever met. You, Emerald, are someone who has the love of the ones who care about you. Everyone loves you for who you are and I never want you to change. You are perfect, if to no one else then to me. A beautiful godess." My heart's leaps at his words and I am truly touched at the painted image of me that he has. "Thank you." I tell him and I lean in to kiss him on his cheek.