Chapter 9

#song #BlackByrd #still not over you

Clara

I heard Brent call my name but I couldn't move... What was happening ...

My whole body was riddled with shock , my head started to hurt out of nowhere... The last thing I remember was walking into the kitchen and something flew right threw the window shattering the glass I dropped my cup and all I heard was the smoke alarm . We live in a safe area and we have state of the art security on the complex. What the hell was going on ... I was on the floor . All I remember was something painfully piercing through my clavicle . Oh hell no , no , no ,no ... Our Baby ... Brent has been through hell he can't go through losing someone again let alone two people. I thought they caught the guys who killed his parents and sister. It was related to something in his family ... Every time I asked him about it he just got all agro. When I told him six years ago that I was pregnant with Andrew ... He snapped and went Hulk angry... I can't think about that now.

I sent up a silent prayer ... God please let our baby and Brent be okay . Please let me get through this...

"Clara! No no ! Not you, come on now, come back to me you are not going to leave me... I will die."

Brent I'm not leaving you. Why can't I respond ... Slowly I started drifting away.

"Fight come on babe ... Don't you dare leave me. Andrew needs you, our baby needs you, Clara doe I need you, Open your eyes ..."

Oh fudge sticks dipped in mint chocolate its happening again I'm fading...

*Flashback. Friday June 5 2009

It had been a couple of months since Brent and I were official make that six since his revelation and admittance to having feelings for me, then declaring his undying love, and commitment to us just the other night... Came as a surprised and I mean never in my wildest dreams did I ever imagine that I would in a stable relationship, with someone who gets me just as much as I get them.

Brent came across as an emotionally cold , broody ,and a picky guy.

If you were not in his circle you could forget ever getting to know him period.

That was then before we happened. I knew something was bothering him all week. I just couldn't shake the feeling something was wrong with my Honey bee . It was the first week so Andrea had gone down to Cape Town for the weekend and Brent had called me earlier on in the day and said he wanted to spend the weekend indoors.

The last time that happened he ended up taking me in every room in his house ... Correction our house he had given me the keys three months into the relationship. He always kept a clean house and everything was in order... Which was one of the many things I loved about him ,and still do. I remember calling in sick at work Monday morning. My excuse was simple... I'm coming down with a cold and I will only be in on Wednesday if I feel okay. They believed me and my boss told me to take the week off and get better...

Since I sounded terrible and I didn't go out... I was sore from the weekends' activities my throat included, it sounded like I swallowed gravel and my body felt painfully good.

If being in a room with Brent set off mini fire works in my veins... Being together with him ignited an inferno which was volcanic and cosmic on many levels.

It was a cold Friday night and I had made sure I submitted everything that needed to be done . I had a feeling that I was going to need an extra day so I took Monday off . Thunder started to rumble outside and I was pretty sure we were in for the mother of all storms ... However there was another storm brewing in my heart...

Something was off ... By now my phone would be flooded with messages from Brent . I was apprehensive in calling him or telling him how much I missed him ... It was unlike him to not call or check up on me through out the day. If he had a class or client he would've said something...

The drive to his house was the longest I've ever had. My nerves were shot . The only thing that was on my mind that evening was a terrifying thought.I pulled up , got out the car and left my duffle in the boot of the SUV. I ran up the stairs and instead of letting myself in I knocked on the Red door .

It started to rain actually it was pouring hard and I was starting to get wet. I knocked again for a good ten seconds ... There was still no answer ... I then searched for my keys in my purse and let myself in only to find a my luggage at the door I looked inside and everything that I brought clothing wise to the house was in there.It was an overnight bag and a duffle everything was packed neatly I zipped up everything leaving the key Brent gave me on the counter and headed back to the car . I got in took a deep breath. I told myself I was a big girl and I shouldn't cry . Before I drove off I booked myself into a hotel suite thirty minuets drive from Brent's house since Kat and Tim also had plans for the weekend .

Upon arrival at The Michael Angelo. I told the front desk to put a visitors block on my account... Once I was settled, cleaned up and in my PJ's . I took out my phone ... Still nothing from Brent... And a news flash message which I opened to try distract me had a picture of Brent and his ex... Kissing ... And the headline read;It couple back together. I sat in the middle of the bed taking deep breaths trying not to have a heart attack... This was just too good to bee true . Poor Andrea what am I going to say to her... It took another hour to pull myself back together again and stop crying. I grabbed my phone and dialed Brent's phone number and hit the call button . It went straight to voice mail after the beep I spoke...

" Brent I get okay , I get it. Why didn't you tell me you wanted to break up? I've been going half crazy all day , wait ... Since yesterday thinking something was going on ... I thought I could handle you keeping things from me . I've been patient and understanding enough... I can't handle the pain I feel right now but I will ... and if you want to end things its okay I'm letting you go. Even though it feels like I'm dying right now , I will live... I'm still confused as to why you didn't tell me face to face directly that you don't want to be with me ... Was it something that I say or didn't say ... I need you to come clean with me , you owe me that . Even if you're too much of a coward to look me in the eye and say that we are through ... "

I hung up and switched off my phone . Sat by the window and watched the rain fall on my window pane and at least try to wrap my head around what's happening... Am I going to cope , will I cope ... Oh my word why does it hurt so much. I was just too tired to do anything, let alone feel anything so I went to sleep the only thing that seems okay to do ... Heaven let this be a dream...

********

I woke up feeling cold I had drifted off to sleep with earphones in my ears . I had a play list for rainy days . Songs that could make you cry and soothe you at the same time. I peaked at the time and it was six thirty in the morning . I has slept through most of the night thinking what happened yesterday was just a dream... Fact of the matter was that it wasn't . I got up , cleaned up and made my way downstairs to the lobby. I hadn't eaten anything and I was craving something I couldn't have ... Brent's famous breakfast , which had everything good in it...in fact I missed his cooking , he is a chef in the kitchen and he knows how to whip up a great guilt free meal without fail.

Why the hell am I talking about someone who isn't even mine to call anymore... I need to go run and sort my feelings out.

I walked three blocks to the gym , even though I had a transport service at my disposal .

Brent never went to gym he had his own home fitness facility so I wouldn't have to worry about bumping into him... I'm sure of that.

On a serious note I needed to get my own place

Timothy and Katherine were getting serious and I felt like a distraction .

I've got most of my clothing and essentials . Can I not think about Brent ...

I've never felt so betrayed and hurt. Jen James out of all people. Don't get me wrong I'm not insecure but he should have told me. Yes I've worked hard to get where I am but wow just wow...

The right signs where there , he hadn't stopped calling me since our first date, he came to visit me every chance he got , he would call me in the morning when he woke up , kept telling me how much he missed me, how he can't wait to see me, and send me texts telling me he was thinking of me .He even introduced me to his friends as his girlfriend at a braai we were invited to . He declared , he protected, provided (even when I told him I was okay), he guided and loved with passion. He did everything right . So at a point where my ... I don't know what to call him right now, but he started acting all secretive Thursday night, he would normally take Fridays off so I knew that I'd be spending the weekend at Brent's , with him and Andrea.

A part of me thought that I was being impulsive cause I hadn't heard Brent's side of the story. I just assumed and left... Or did I?

Brent didn't call that Friday morning , he just up and left . He has a habit of watching me sleep it creeped me out in a good way though...

He also sent a mid morning message and all I got was a call . He would normally ask me how my day was going , what am I wearing and what he was thinking.

Brent was direct and honest . He was the kind of guy who meant what he said and said what he meant . He proved it by deed too . On Friday when I picked up the phone feeling all sorts angst and bereaved he only said; he wanted to spend the weekend indoors . When I asked him if he was okay and what was going on he cut me off . I called him back and it went directly to voice mail. I left a message asking him what's going on ? Was it something I didn't do ? I even went as far as telling him; I have to know what's going on with us cause his behaving offish...

I had finished my jog and clocked in fifty kilometers. I hadn't realized how fast I was running until I stopped the treadmill and got off. I hadn't had anything to eat so I was feeling a bit light headed . I took a shower an I was still fine, my legs felt wobbly , but I was fine. The gym had a breakfast bar that had a view that was breath taking, and since there was a thunderstorm last night the air smelt clean and I had time to kill and just be.

I ordered breakfast which consisted of steal cut oats with cinnamon, berries , juice and yogurt. While I waited I took out my phone and switched it on . Everything seemed relatively okay until it start vibrating non stop. I left it on the table and looked around for my waiter who clearly disappeared . He returned fifteen minuets later with my breakfast and Carlo Perelli. Brent's friend... Who was making his way over to my table . I had a mouth full of oats when he took the chair and sat across me.

"Clara mia good morning."

I swallowed the contents in my mouth took a napkin, wiped my mouth clean and took a gulp of my orange juice and smiled.

"Carlo. How are you?"

He took my hand kissed it and looked back at me with his brown eyes.

"I'm fine. I'm just not sure about my best friend. He's been going nuts on our whatsapp group. "

"I forgot you managed this branch . Which best friend?"

"Your boyfriend ."

"Ha ha but you just called me your Clara..."

" I know , you might as well be since well know a bit about you from Brent ,and our past."

" Aaah Brent. Who went mia on me and was photographed kissing another woman... His ex fiancé Jen James. Who he didn't reveal. Have you any idea how betrayed I feel . "

Carlo raked back his hair took both my hands and kissed them.

" He is going crazy . I have never seen him like this . Tim is the one who can calm him down he's not available this weekend . I am struggling . Its been twenty four hours and he won't stop crying . You left him undone . Only you can stop the trauma he's going through. Jen did nothing... You brought our friend back, he started smiling since you, you calm a part in him that used to be so rouge. "

I looked at Carlo with tears in my eyes.

" He doesn't want me anymore. What do you call having my bags packed and avoiding me all day. I called him back to ask what was wrong, the phone rings and goes to voice mail... "

He took out a hankie and wiped my tears. He cradled my face with his hand then leaned over and kissed my forehead he then looked at me .

"If you were mine... I wouldn't let you out of my sight , I'd worship the ground you walk on , let you know every minuet of every day that you are the most important being in my world and that I'm grateful to have you in my life... "

" Why do I get the feeling that you stole those lines from Brent?"

"That's because they are the exact same words he said last night and more when he was calling you, his phone dropped in my fish tank yesterday morning after he called you. He wanted to call you. "

I shook my head

"Carlo I don't pick up numbers I don't know."

"He told me that hence he couldn't reach you. There was another reason he came to see me."

" Since I helped him design his gym , he wanted me to help me with his house closet."

"To do what exactly . I'm confused."

"He packed your clothing so it shouldn't get dirty . He was planing something... Last night when he broke down he came clean."

"Please tell me . What's going on with the man I love ?"

"He was going to ask you to move in with him and Andrea . "

Carlo smiled at me

I covered my mouth to stifle a scream

"What ... Oh where is he?"

"Upstairs . I'll take you . "

He took my hand and led me to the lift as the doors opened... behold a broken man.

"Brent Wolf ."

Brent jumped out hugged and held me and wouldn't let go

"Clara doe . I love you . I'm not breaking up with you. "

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© #KCMmuoe