A Dilemma Indeed

What to do, What to do? I could always carry him, hoping that he isn't as heavy as he is strong, or maybe, I could kill him. It's not like he wouldn't come back as a ghost anyway, and that way I could get my revenge on him, if this wasn't just another one of his puppets. That would be the logical choice, to use another uno reverse card and kill him instead. But maybe he could be useful, he could tell me about the Judge and the reason he was sent to guard a high lord. And maybe even who he actually was, since I don't believe the Judge picks random people off the street to be an eternal guard to one of the most powerful people in the world.

Having decided on what I should do, and knocking him on the head to ensure he didn't wake up again (and maybe for some other reasons), I hoisted him up by the waist and got him into a fireman's lift, after shifting into Louis, a man with knuckles as hard as bricks and a head even thicker than one. Louis had gotten me out of many a troublesome situation, surprisingly, not because I beat everyone up. One of the main things people trust is familiarity, and if you can turn into what's familiar to the mercenary guild, 15 esteemed gentlemen in the tobacco trade, or deckhands on a ship... Well then I would say that you've completed your course on taking advantage of people. But yes. If you're wondering, Louis can punch like Sebastian can eat. Fucking hardcore.

Trudging for miles on end through caves and Caverns is nothing fun, let me tell you that. The damp stone beneath you constantly threatens to make you slip and impale you on the stalagmites. And the smell! Eugh! It's like a mix of grandma's closet and cat vomit, and I know both of those extremely well. The strangest thing is that there's only one path to go. With caves like these, you'd expect hundreds of routes thrown out madly like a child's toy. But that isn't happening here. Rather, there's one road, wide and true, with spikes jutting out of the sidelines. Nevertheless, with how smooth and slippery the road is, its quite hard not to fall on them, also not helped by the fact I'm carrying someone on my, albeit broad, back. Another strange thing is that I can feel I'm coming close to something. A feeling that ricochets throughout my bones and my brain. A knowing sensation that wispers to me. If I'm going to be honest, I don't like it one bit, it reminds too much of witches of Ima Abdual, but for some reason, this doesn't feel as... sinister. It's more of a slight push, like some helpful instructions from a tutor, or a music note.

I'm not the most logical thinker, something everyone around would know after 5 minutes in a bar with me, and so when every neuron in my brain, every bone in my body, screamed 'DONT DO IT, YOU'LL DIE YOU FUCKING SHITBISCUIT', I said, like a man on his last bottle... 'You know what, fuck it' It may not be the cleverest, most enlightened approach, but its mine, and I'll stick to it. Some say to pick your battles, run from a fight that you can't win, and stand your ground when you know you can. Those people are cowards. Pick your Land, I say, and fight every battle that encroaches upon it. Uncle Darson used to say that. Neither of us were the wisest, it has to be said, fried eggs in a field of creme brulee we were. If you stuck our heads next to each other you could make a brick wall, our skulls were so thick. But we were stubborn bastards, and we kept to it. And so I'll keep to my stupidity, because that is who I am.

Bloody hell this is a long road. There are so many branching paths, completely different to earlier's dual carriageway of a Cave, there was even one point where I just decided to sit down, hold Wally like a baby, (Fuck me that man sleeps like a log) and slide down for about a minute to avoid my unconscious comrade- I'm getting quite good at these nicknames- dying an even more pathetic death than mine. I would be lying however, if I said it wasn't fun experiencing a slip and slide in a broad Gaul's body. My favourite type of ice cream is a very dark chocolate, as I know you're all asking. I wasn't lying when I said I had a favourite ice cream for everyone.
Every second I walked onwards, I could feel that voice in my brain growing, a crescendo that only I could hear, in a lonely opera in an abandoned city in the Cavin desert. It was a buzzing in my head at this point, impossible to stop and as incessantly annoying as a mosquito. Nothing could be done to get it out of my head, and I instinctively knew that if I walked back, the noise would only get worse, and I couldn't take that. All I could do was stumble forwards, hoping that I would reach my goal soon, so that I wouldn't have to endure this pain for much longer.