Chapter 9 - Confession

*non proofread*

Christina POV

It has been 3 weeks after the incident. I haven't got the chance to visit nor meet up with Ash. I knew she had been discharged from the hospital 3 weeks ago and I did text her asking how she is but she just reply I am good and thank you for concerned. The way her response makes me frustrated because she normally will joke around and being playful and sometime teased me but now it seems that she is not like she used to be. I can't exactly tell what's wrong but definitely she is not herself. I tried to ask Jonathan but he didn't say much about Ash's condition. Since I have been very busy with my filming and photo shoot schedule, I don't have much time texting or calling Jonathan for any update on Ash. Sometimes I just think back that moment if I am being nice to her 2 best friends, I can get more updates from them then from Jonathan. What actually happened to Ash? Why is she being so cold at me now? Wait?! Why am I thinking about her? Did I fall for her?

Abby:"Yes my dear" she came out of nowhere suddenly and replied.

Christina:"Did I say that out loud again" I asked while blushing.

Sophia:"Well, it looks like our little princess had fall for someone... If you keep on thinking about her and got worried and frustrated on what she did or what she didn't, why don't you go and look for her and get the answer yourself rather than sitting here and trying to understand her motive or waiting for her to response?" she said while smirking at me.

Mark:"Well, is true what Sophia said and I can tell you that Ash is head over heels at you as she did mentioned to me before that she really likes you but you seems 101% straight and seems to be closed with Marcus boy. I can see her eyes look defeated when she thinks of you and Marcus" he said while I was shocked to hear this came out from him.

Christina:"Did she really say that to you? How come you guys talked about me and I didn't even know? When was it?" I asked while looking at him.

Mark:"Is a day before your kidnapping happens... We met at somewhere my house for breakfast where she gave me the bracelet so that I can pass to Sophia to give it to you saying is a gift from a fan. Is something she gets her Tech Team to make and designed it as a small version of some sort of GPS tracking device on it" he informed.

Christina:"You mean this is something she designed and get someone to build it into a bracelet then asked you guys to pass to me so I can wear it and she will know where I am in order to protect and look for me if anything happened?" I asked and both Sophia and Mark nodded. "I can't believe she went through so much hassled in planning, designing and creating this just for me besides getting injured during the operation" a few tears drop from the corner of my eyes while touching the bracelet.

Abby:"I think this shows how much she cares and likes you. She just didn't show it out but she is so oblivious that we all know she likes you and same goes to..... you. I can see the way she looks at you like you are something she needs in order to survive, dear" she said while wiping my tears away and rubbing my back.

Sophia:"Well since we are flying back tomorrow, why don't you go to her apartment and look for her and talk things out rather than over thinking here. Whether it does work out a not, at least you know what she is thinking and what happened" she said while rubbing my back to calm me down.

Christina:"True..rather than me over thinking and waiting for her to take any action, is not a problem for me to take the initiative to talk to her" I smiled and wiped the tears off my face. "Let's go back to the hotel so that I can pack and cleanup myself so I can rest early for tomorrow" I hugged Abby's arm and walked towards the car so that we can back hotel and rest for the night. "Wait, don't I look desperate if I look for her tomorrow?" I asked shyly.

Abby:"My dear.... what century are you at now? Being bold and take action towards love has no rules on who should take charge or initiative first" she chuckled at my question then dragged me along with her and went into the car.

**after 8 hours flight and journey back home**

I finally reached my condo. I unlocked my unit door then walked in and closed the door. I pulled my luggage up to my room and unpacked it. I then walked into the bathroom, undressed and take a quick shower. I walked out from the bathroom wrapped in a towel then walked towards the closet and get a pair of bra and panties, a sweatpants and a hoodie since I don't wish to be noticed by anyone since I am going out to Ash's place. I apply some light make up and spray my favorite perfume. I took my phone and purse, put into my handbag then walked down to the kitchen and took a bottle of water to drink. I then walked towards the door, unlocked it then locked it back after I armed the alarm system. I walked towards the elevator hall and waited for the next elevator to go to the lobby. Once it reached the lobby, I walked towards the main entrance where Mark is there waiting to fetch me over to Ash's place.

Christina:"Sorry for waiting. I need to settled the luggage and take a shower" I smiled while Mark started to drive to Ash's place. "Do you think she wants to see me? It has been 3 weeks and she didn't even send me a text on a Hi or how are you..." I asked while looking outside the window.

Mark:"Don't think so much. I am sure she is happy to see you appear in her apartment. She is head over heels on you, trust me" he assured as we are reaching Ash's apartment.

Once reached, Mark parks the car at the side of Ash's apartment compound. I hugged Mark and kiss him on the cheek then say thank you to him before getting out of the car. I waved him goodbye and walked straight to the security post.

Security:"Hi Mam! Can I ask whom are you looking for?" he asked while scanning me up and down.

Christina:"Hi! I am a friend of Ms. Bishop. Can I go up and to her apartment unit?" I asked while giving him a faked smile.

Security:"Sure. Please fill up this visitor form and you may go in" he grinned while scanning at me up and down while I starts to fill up my details. He looks weird and I am not going to put my actual name on the form so I just named myself as Debbie Hudson; 1 of my nickname in 1 of my movie.

Christina:"Here you go" I filled up and passed the form back to him.

Security:"Hmm..Debbie is a nice name. Maybe we can go grab some coffee after my shift later?" he wiggled his eyebrows while looking at me.

I gave him a faked smile and walked towards the entrance. Since he had already opened the door for me, I took the elevator up to the 8th floor where Ash's unit is. Once the elevator door opened, I slowly walked out and towards her apartment unit. My heart starts beating like crazy and it almost jumped out from my chest as I get nearer to her apartment unit door. I take a deep breath and then pressed on her door bell twice. I heard some unsteady footsteps walking towards the door then asking "Who is it". I froze by hearing her voice. Then the door slowly opened and review a drunken state Ash looking directly at me while blinking her eyes to confirm who she is looking at.

Christina:"H-Hi Ash... Are you planning to let me in?" I asked while looking at her blank face.

Ash POV

While I was still lying on my couch after a few can of beers, I heard my door bell ring. I pushed myself up and slowly walked over to the door. Since I am a bit tipsy, I stumbled a bit when I turned around from the couch. I asked who it is before opening the door. There she is, standing directly in-front of me looking as pretty as ever with her sparkling emerald bluish eyes. I blinked my eyes a few times to confirm that I am not dreaming.

Christina:"H-Hi Ash... Are you planning to let me in?" she asked while I just look at her with my blank face. She then tapped me on my shoulder to bring me back to reality.

Ash:"Chr - Ms. Wolfe? W-why are y-you here? H-How did y-you know where I stay and my home address? Anyway, I am sorry as I am having a break from my work now. So if you need help, you should probably look for Jonathan or other team member at the station" I told her while trying to close the door. She managed to block me from closing the door and pushed me into my apartment then closed the door behind. She saw a few beer cans around the couch.

Christina:"What happen, Ash? Why are you acting different? Am I just a client to you? Tell me please as I can't be doing this anymore because all I do is thinking what happen to the Ash I knew. What exactly happened to you which makes you changed to another person totally. Please tell me! I can't stop thinking of you and what I did to make you treat me in such way" she cried while covering her face and sat on the floor.

My heart cracked looking at her; shouting and crying in-front of me. I wish I can run over and hugged her and kiss her but I am scared. I am scared that I might hurt her.

Ash:"I-I can't... I might h-hurt you... I am not well and I am not whom am I now and I don't even know who the hell am I supposed to be!" I screamed while holding on my head then dropped and sat on the floor in-front of Christina.

She slowly crawled over to me, sat onto my lap, holds both my hand looking at me then slowly lean in and kissed me on the lips. I was shocked at first but then I kissed her back. I wrapped my arms around her waist bringing her closer in to me then deepen the kissed. We both broke apart when breathing is a problem. We put our forehead touching together then we looked at each other's eyes.

Christina:"What happen, Ash? Can you please tell me?" she begged while looking at my eyes for answer.

Ash:"I am sorry... I-I a-am diagnosed with m-mild d-depression due to PTSD" I said softly avoiding her eyes. That is why I h-have nightmares, headache and act in rage. I found myself not being myself that night in the hospital monitoring room where I scream and shout then ram over all the nurses who trying to go to me and hold me down. I don't know what I am doing and why I did what I did. I don't care whether my hand is bleeding nor my wounds are open but I just want to run away from there and once I reached the rooftop of the hospital, I felt myself slowly walking towards the ledge and before I take another steps forward, I was tranquilized by a male nurse.... They have to cuff me on the bed railing. I really don't remember what I did until they show me the CCTV recording the next day" I said while hugging her tightly.

"After that incident, my headache is getting worst and I can't even sleep for 1 hour due to those nightmare come flashing in my head. I become the worst of myself where I can't sleep, can't eat well, can't even go to work. Every time when I tried to call you, I got afraid. I wish you were here BUT I can't do it. I starting to hurt myself by cutting myself using the blade, banging my stupid head against the wall hope that the headache will stop. In the end, I tried to kill myself by submerging into the bathtub full of water! I said while crying. I can't even save myself from these, entirely how am I supposed to protect you?! How am I going to face you when I looked like shit and when I am at the bottom of my very own self?" I said then pushed us apart while I tried to stand up. She gasped after knowing that I tried to kill myself then grabbed my hand immediately not letting me go.

Christina:"H-how did y-you manage to walk through that" she asked while tears coming down from her eyes.

Ash:"Luckily Vivian called me that very moment. She and Jamie rushed over here and pulled me out from the bath tub" I informed her.

Christina:"Why didn't you tell me all this earlier? You don't need to go through all these by yourself.... We can go through it together" she said while touching my cheek.

Ash:"I can't do that because you need your own life and you need your work. I can't take those away from you by asking you to come back, to me. In fact I didn't know that you like me too. I don't want to break the friendship that we have by making a mistake assuming things 1 sided" I said while looking at her emerald bluish eye then rubs her cheek. She then wrapped her arms on my neck and kissed me. It started to be a passionate kiss then slowly it got heated up. "There is something I need to tell you" I said while I pushed us apart. She looks at me with a frown on the face. "I-I....ermm... I-I" I looked at her with a blank face.

Christina:"Take a deep breath, baby..." she cooed while rubbing my cheek. I took a very deep breath and finally able to say what I want to tell her.

Ash:"I am born intersex; where I have the top of a woman with a male genital at the bottom. I know that I am a freak to you and I understand if you want to walk away now, you can and I won't stop or hate you because not everyone can accept me as..." before I can finished my sentence, I was attacked by a pair of warm lips attached to mine.

Christina:"Baby, look at me" I looked straight into her emerald blue eyes. "I am not going anywhere and I am not going to hate you for whom you are. You are not a freak but someone special to me, okay and I am not going to let you go that easy and you are not going to hurt me too, okay" she said while kissing me again.

We both then start kissing passionately. She wrapped her legs on my waist where I carried her into my bedroom. I lay her down onto my bed slowly without breaking the kiss. I slowly kissing down her jawline then to her neck and slowly under her ear lop where she moan softly. That is her soft spot. I continue kissing her soft spot and my hands slowly touch her waist, touching her body underneath her hoodie. She sits up then takes off her hoodie only showing her lace black bra. She tugged my oversize t-shirt and I take it off exposing my sports bra, my toned abs, a huge scar across my abdomen, two bullet wound; 1 on the left side of my abdomen and 1 on my right shoulder. I cupped her face then kissed her lips again laying her down at her back.

My lips slide over to her jawline then to her neck and her soft spot. She moans softly again while her hand touches my body which sets my body on fire. My hand slowly slides down her waist then towards the waistband of her sweatpants. I looked at her asking for permission and she nodded. I slowly slip her pants down exposing her black lace matching panties. My eyes are mesmerized by how beautiful is the blonde in-front of me. She pulls me down facing her then kiss me again on the lips then she turn us over where she is now on top of me while I am on my back, continue kissing me. Her hands slowly move down touching my abs then waist. Before she goes further down, I stopped her while she looked at me anxiously.

Ash:"I want to give in myself to you, I really am but not now...not like this... I need to get myself back in good shape and I want to do things properly. I want to take you out for a date" I looked at her sparkling emerald bluish eye waiting for response from her. She cupped my face and kissed me.

Christina:"Is okay baby.. I am ready as when you are ready and I would love to go on a date with you" she smiled and pecks me on the lips. "Cuddle?" she asked while blushing.

Ash:"Yes. I can't wait to wake up beside you tomorrow. I love the scent of your body. It calms me down.. Let's go to sleep, love" I said then pull the duvet over both of us. She slides in closer to me so I can cuddle her. She laid her head on my chest and tangled her legs around mine. "Good night love" I said then kissed her on her forehead.

Christina:"Good night baby" she smiled then closes her eyes and hugged me tight.

p/s: Please comment and vote if you like my story and sorry for all the spelling and grammar mistake .. :) xxx