Chapter IV: The Realization

Morning came and he woke up. He got up early, earlier than usual, and proceeded to get ready. Maybe because he was excited and his body couldn't contain it or maybe because he just slept earlier than usual. Either way, it was beneficial to him waking up earlier and he got no complaints about it.

He washed his face, ate another bag of ready-to-eat noodles, took a bath, put on clothes, and prepared himself. He opened the door and inhaled the fresh air. "Okay, time to buy some stuff. I'll be going out!" He yelled.

He first wants to buy the gifts for each member of the family before buying some food ingredients so he went to the shopping mall. He knew that this big store got a variety of stuff and even though he cannot pinpoint the exact items he would like to buy, he can at least have a lot of other items to choose from.

He went to a jewelry shop first. It wasn't the type of jewelry shop that usually sells high-end gold and diamond accessories but it was a shop with commendable items in abundance that are used by girls. Yes, it was more of an accessory shop rather than an actual jewelry shop.

He ought to buy something nice for her sister. Since she was around the age of an adult teen, he wanted to get her something that she would want to use a lot. He wanted to get the items that could help her or would be of use to her at her age.

He saw some makeup on a corner of the shop and so he went there. He doesn't know much about that stuff so he decided to get a lot of it anyway. He also got her a fancy comb, hairpins, a bunch of perfumes, and other small things that had fancied him.

"This should be enough. Although she is a turning adult, she is still a kid that would expect a lot for a gift." He said while looking satisfied with all the stuff he bought for her sister.

Although a little bit doting, his thought was filled with his sister's happy face. He paid for everything then went out of the store.

He wasn't particularly fond of shopping or any activities related to it but it was the first time he felt somewhat accomplished at doing something like this.

Although it didn't look like it, he actually spent a lot of time in that place. He then thought that maybe because he was shopping for a purpose and he was happy doing it that it didn't cross his mind at all.

He then went to a different shop to buy gifts for his parents. He knew that just seeing him go back would probably be enough as a gift for his parents but he still wanted to thank them more for it. Although it will not be as grandiose as his gifts for his sister, having a simple gift would surely mean a lot.

"Sometimes the least is the best you can give." He said as he smiled and entered the shop. He entered a General Merchandise shop. He knows that this shop would offer a good variety of stuff for him to choose from.

Even though he had prepared what to buy for them, having more choices would always be preferable. Since after all, he got all the day for this.

He plans to buy some gardening tools for his mother and a tool kit for his father. He went straight to the gardening section which is conveniently beside the tools section. He bought some gardening tools along with some cool decorations that can be put in a garden.

As for the tool kit, he bought the most expensive one. He said at first that he would just buy a simple gift for the two, mostly just a small sturdy shovel and a countable amount of tools. In the end, however, it ended up that his emotions exceeded his rationale.

While walking towards the counter to pay for the items he bought, he walked past by something that caught his eye. It was a picture frame with a family as its example picture. It wasn't a grandiose frame by all means but that picture inside it made him feel happy.

As he indulges himself with the nostalgia trip, he said, "How long has it been since we took a family photo? I guess it is telling me that this is the time to renew the old one." He paused for a minute and took that time to remember the last time that they took a photo together as a family. Getting back to reality, he took that frame and proceeded to go to the counter to pay for everything he bought.

After shopping, he dropped everything off at a baggage counter so that he can carry the stuff that he will buy next. After doing so, he went to a supermarket beside the shopping mall. He asked himself, "So, what should we eat for tomorrow? I guess I should probably go with something that we haven't had since I was a child, huh. Something that my sister would love and something that would surely hit home."

He thought for a while what should he buy and after a couple of minutes thinking, he finally thought of the best dishes that his parents would cook on a special occasion. "Fried chicken, sour pork stew, and a side dish of vegetable salad. Yes, that sounds great."

He went to the meat section to get some pork and chicken. Second, he went to the vegetable section and picked the best ingredients for the dishes. "Mother's fried chickens are the best-fried chicken I know. I also can't wait to taste Father's sour pork stew that is filled with so much flavor. Huh, why do I sound so happy, like a child? I'm in my mid-twenties for god's sake." He said with a proud face as he chuckled while picking up ingredients for the dishes.

As he went to pay for the things he bought, he again saw something that caught his eye. "Ice cream, huh. Why not, we don't have anything yet for dessert anyway." He smiled as he put the ice cream in the basket to also buy it.

He had spare wrappings and boxes to use for the gifts at his apartment so after doing the groceries, he was done for the day. The only thing he needs to do now is to move all that back to his apartment. Since he didn't know how to drive and also doesn't own a car to pick all that stuff home, he asked staff in the baggage counter if someone can help him carry all of this outside as he picks up a taxi to go home. They gladly accepted his favor and someone helped him carry the stuff.

While carrying some of the stuff that he bought, the helper asked him something and said, "Why did you buy all of this, is it a special occasion? You don't seem someone who has a family since you asked for help in getting all this stuff."

"Well, I don't have a family of my own but all of these are for my family." He replied.

Satisfied with his answer, the helper smiled back. The two of them carried the stuff outside and waited for a taxi to pick everything up.

After a while of waiting, a taxi came to pick him up back to his place. They loaded everything inside. He thanked the helper and the helper went back inside the shopping mall.

While inside the taxi, the driver also asked him about the stuff he bought. The driver said, "You got quite the stuff there. Is it a celebration?"

"Well, not exactly but you can say it like that. I haven't been able to visit my family since I got a job so after years of not being able to see them, I want to remind them that I still love them. I guess I kind of went overboard buying a lot of stuff. I even said I'll just make it simple along with my shopping but it ended up like this." He replied.

The driver smiled and said, "We always want the best for our loved ones, do not mind it, I understand. Your family would surely be thrilled to see you back home."

They continued to talk for some time until they finally arrived back at his apartment. They unloaded all the stuff back to his place. He said thank you to the driver and he smiled back as he drove off.

As he was going to go back inside his apartment and open the door, someone came to him and said, "So, when will you pay me for your stay?"

The person in front of him was his landlord. With his surprised expression, he answered, "Ah, yes, the payment for the month. Wait, I'll give it in a second." He reached back to his wallet and to his surprise, all that is left aren't enough to pay for last month's rent.

He forgot that he was supposed to pay the landlord first before going shopping but he went overboard and bought a lot of stuff. In the end, the money that was left was only enough to sustain him for the last two weeks of the month before his next pay.

Having this situation in front of him, there was only one thing he could think of and that is to plead that the landlord would extend his payment until the end of this month. "Well you see, I kind of went overboard shopping. It's not what you think though, I was supposed to pay you first this morning but I forgot. So, can you please extend the payment until the first week of the next month? I promise that I'll pay first thing as I get my salary from work. I'll make that my first priority next month!" He pleaded.

The landlord asked, "For whom are those anyway?"

"These are all for my family visit for tomorrow. I haven't seen my family in a while so I would like to go back home thanking them for everything." He answered.

Since the landlord had been catering for him for around six years now, the landlord kind of understand his character. The landlord knew that he was a person who was focused on working for his sister's studies, a person who values solitude but is easy to get along with others. He wasn't particularly a person who likes hanging out with a lot of different people but with the right people whom he values.

Seeing him throw out work to visit his family, is a kind of change. It wasn't a bad change but a good one for him. In the end, the landlord decided to accept his offer.

He thanked the landlord with joy on his face, looking like a kid who achieved a great accomplishment. "Honestly, you should get out more, either with your best friend or your family. Make this your first step, okay." The landlord said.

"Don't worry, I think this is the start of a drastic change in my life. Hopefully, I can keep up." He smiled back.

The landlord walked away and waved goodbye. He opened the door and put back all the stuff he bought inside. After putting all the stuff inside, he sat on his couch. He looked at a hanging clock in the room and saw that it was lunchtime. Just like always, he heated a cup of noodles for lunch.

After a while, he started eating. While eating and tasting the same old noodles, he said, "Tomorrow, I can taste something different. I can't wait." After saying that, he finished the noodles and prepared to wrap the gifts.

He started wrapping his sister's gifts first then he began wrapping the gifts to his parents. "I haven't even contacted them that I would visit, surely they will be surprised when I come back home tomorrow." After wrapping the gifts, he used the afternoon to prepare for tomorrow as well as fantasizing about what would happen for tomorrow's occasion, just like a normal person.

The afternoon ended and the night came. He was so focused on the occasion for tomorrow and slept a little bit later than usual. Although he was caught up with his fantasies, he slept with a smile on his face.

The morning came and the big day started. He prepared like usual with his daily routine. He was feeling confident, uneasy, and excited at the same time. Just like a kid, when going to a new playground. You are excited for what is to come and yet you feel uneasy about what is to happen.

He brought all the stuff outside and waited for the taxi that he booked to come and pick him up. After a while, the taxi came and he put all his stuff inside. Before going back home, he went to the landlord's room and said, "Thank you again for yesterday, I'll be going back home." He said proudly while smiling. The landlord responded saying, "Take care."

He went back to the taxi and got inside it. They drove off going to the house address that he had since he was out of the house back when he was in college. The drive wasn't particularly long but it took a while.

When they finally got close to the address, the house that he was expecting was not there. The driver asked him, "Are you sure that this is the place? There seems to be no house here."

"Yes, I'm sure that this is the place. Why is there nothing here?" He replied with a worrying tone. "Do you want me to drop you off here? Or I can bring you back if you want?" The driver asked feeling confused but wanting to help him at the same time.

"Can you wait here for me, I will go out first and confirm some things." He said, itching to get to the case of it. The driver agreed to him and so he got off the car.

He doesn't particularly go out back then when he was a kid. The only time he goes out is when he goes to school, goes out with the family, or maybe just outside the garden with his sister.

He doesn't know many neighbors so he asked the neighbor who was closest to the place. He knocked on the door of one of the neighboring places. After a minute or so, an old lady came out.

He asked, "I'm sorry if this is sudden and you might not know who I am but do you know why the neighboring lot is empty? Isn't there a house there before?" He asked as he felt worried and tensed.

The old woman replied, "This place over to my right? My dear, this place had been abandoned for eight years now. A serial killer killed the whole family. After doing that, he burned himself along with the house. We were all so scared that we locked the door and all of us stayed inside. It was lucky that their eldest son was not in the house when that time happened. I do not know more than that but after that incident, there had been no accidents that had happened in this part of the town ever since. An accident disguised as a blessing. That's what the people are saying around this parts."

After hearing that, he was speechless. Looking at the old lady, all he could think of was his mother's figure. Tears suddenly fell from his eyes. Although he couldn't say of a word, his chest felt like it was about to burst.

While tears were still coming out of his eyes, the old lady asked him. "Do you know these people? I'm so sorry if that is the case. We were all equally afraid back then that we didn't know what to do. We called the police but it was too late."

"It's okay." He said. Feeling tortured by this confusion mixed with striking pain in his chest, he forced himself to calm down as to not make the old lady worry too much. He remembered that he had been with his current landlord for at least six years now and yet she talked as if she doesn't know what happened. He was sure that they had small talks about his family back then. To confirm things, he decided to go back to his apartment.

He thanked the old lady for catering to him and he went back to the taxi. Still confused, he asked the driver to go back to his apartment. Even though he still feels confused, the pain in his chest began to slowly calm down.

Tears also stopped pouring. He knows that there may be something that he didn't know. His reason for this is because he doesn't have his memories of the past weeks. With so much going on right now, his only lead is the mismatched story of the old lady and the knowledge of his landlord.

After an eerie long hour of anguish, he was finally back to the apartment. He thanked the driver for gladly doing all of this for him. After putting all the stuff back in his apartment, he went to the landlord's room.

"Can I talk to you?" He said. "Sure, what is it?" The landlord replied.

He felt something different with the landlord. He knows that the landlord should know that he was going back to his parents' house and yet the landlord didn't ask him why he was back this early.

"Are you hiding something from me?" He urged. "What do you mean hiding? What are you talking about?" The landlord replied.

"Yesterday, when you agreed that you would extend my payment time until next month and when I said I'll go back home to my family this weekend." He persisted.

"Yes, I do remember that your payment time will be extended until next month but I do not recall us talking about your family." The landlord said.

He felt more confused as to why the landlord is acting as if she doesn't know what happened yesterday. He wanted to get the answers but it just keeps getting dodged.

"What do you mean that we didn't talk about my family yesterday, you were the one who asked who were the gifts for." He said.

"Why would I be talking to you about going back to your family when your family is dead? I know it is tough when you don't have a family maybe that is the reason why you are so anxious right now. Maybe a force of emotions that had piled up since back then is just getting released now. You should get a rest and calm down. You cannot bring back the dead so treasure your life and live for their sake." She replied.

"Huh, what are you saying?" He said as tears came back down from his eyes. He ran back to his apartment room leaving the landlord. He opened the door and slammed it shut. He went back to his room and laid back. Like a child that was lost in a crowd of people, a man close to his thirties cried his lungs out.

"What is happening, why does it look like that the landlord also said that they were dead when it was clear that we were talking about them cheerfully yesterday?" He said with a cracking soft tone.

*Aren't I back home? This is not a dream, right? Was I in a coma that's why I don't know all of these? What had happened in those last couple of weeks that I do not know? Is that the answer to everything that has happened? Why did my family die?* More and more questions began to pile up in his head as he continues to find the answer to it. But no matter what he thought of, some things are clear in his mind.

It's that he cannot accept everything that is happening, his family is dead, and that his chest is aching nonstop. The more that he thinks about these things, the stronger the pain in his chest becomes. He cannot accept the fate that was brought unto him.

As the ever-growing darkness and despair inside his heart began to grow, his phone rang to a message. Not hoping for anything, he opened his phone and read the message.

The message was from his best friend way back in high school. They often talk at least once up to thrice a month now. They are as close as any best friends are. He opened the phone and saw his message.

His best friend's message said, "Are you free tomorrow? I just got this cool new robot figurine that is three feet tall. Damn, it looks so good. It got bright red wings and laser cannons and stuff. Anyway, we haven't talked since last month so I was hoping we could go to a café or something. There is a lot of stuff I want to tell you. Also, well spoilers, I just got promoted you see. I at least want to celebrate with my best friend. If you are busy it's totally fine. Just tell me if you can go. I'll be at Cat Paws café the whole morning."

He chuckled after reading the text message. "Such a cringe guy and yet he is also someone who special to me." Just like snow in the summer, the pain slowly faded away. It was like a small torch inside a pitch-black corridor. Although everything was covered in darkness, the torch's presence was enough to keep someone going. In this case, it was enough strength for him to help carry the burden he was having.

"Sure, I'll be there tomorrow." He replied.

Lunch came and the night also came. All he did was lie down in his bed looking at the ceiling the whole time. He was thinking about what he should do now after knowing the truth. He was questioning his purpose before and was supposed to answer along the way but instead, he lost all his means for it.

All that is left is his self. His own hollow shell of not knowing. The time passed by longer than usual. It felt like the world wanted the suffering to be extended and to last longer. Although it was hopelessly long, it also came to an end. Time slowly suffered him to sleep.