TRYING TO REMEMBER

I felt unsteady when I first got to my feet. Whoever the guy from last night was, he knew his way around a mattress, that's for sure. I hadn't felt like this in a long time. The last guy I let take me home from a bar was a little lackluster in the sack.

I wobbled for a moment until my legs no longer felt like jelly then I continued toward the bathroom. As I walked across my hardwood floor I noticed that my floor was less messy than usual after nights like this past one. I could see that the clothes that I had been wearing were in the hamper, underwear and socks included.

"Huh, whoever he is, at least he is tidy."

I continue walking to the bathroom then, less wobbly but still achy, in a good way.

But, what I saw in the bathroom when I stepped in made me pause and do a double take. I had been heading straight for the tap to turn on the water but I had caught sight of myself in the mirror.

"What the hell did he do?" I asked of the empty room. "How many hickeys did he feel the need to leave?"

My neck, shoulders, chest, stomach, and legs were covered in dark purplish, bruise like bite marks. He had left so many of the marks that I was having a hard time trying to count them all, my brain just didn't want to look at them.

"....twenty-six, twenty-seven, twenty-eight. Seriously, there are twenty-eight hickeys. That I can see!" Someone tell me he didn't leave any somewhere I can't see.

I hung my head. These things needed to be hid. I was going to EZ's house today, to spend the afternoon with his family. I seriously didn't need his mom or sisters to know what I did last night. Or his Dad, oh that would be embarrassing. His family was like my new family, since they basically adopted me seven years ago. I really didn't want to answer any embarrassing questions.

They wouldn't have a problem with what I did exactly, but they would want details, and I didn't remember any of those. They wouldn't mind me going out and picking a guy up at a bar. What they would have a problem with was that I got so drunk that I didn't remember it at all.

While I was contemplating the best way to hide all of these marks to make sure no one saw them, ever, I took a few steps toward the mirror. When I was closer I saw that there were more on my neck than I had thought.

Originally I had thought that there were three total, but there were actually six, three sets of overlapping marks. And there on my left shoulder I could see a massive bruise coming over the curve. I could only see the top of it as the purple part of the bruise had spread out from the mark.

"What the hell did he do?" I couldn't help but laugh. "Damn, he was pretty damn brutal, wasn't he?"

There wasn't much I could do about what had already happened. It was the past, and I never planned to see the guy again. Well, I guess I would never know if I did or not, since I can't even remember what he looked like.

I started the water and let it get hot, which thankfully didn't take long. Once the temp was right I stepped into the waterfall shower and let the feeling of the water relax the tension in my body, not to mention it helped to ease some of the muscle aches I was feeling as well. Perhaps the jacuzzi tub would have been a better choice this morning instead?

While I let the water just continue to pour over me I wracked my brain, trying to think about last night. I tried to remember something. What he looked like. What all we had done. What his name was.

Well, I guess I have one hint to what his name was. It started with a K, or so his note said.

But, then there was the fact that I didn't know why I was trying to remember so hard. I had often woken up the morning after one of these one shots and wished I could forget that I had even met them, let alone slept with them.

I guess when you actually do forget it, when you really can't remember, it's even worse. I didn't like the idea of not knowing who I had been with, not remembering his face at all. And then there were the things we had done, I should remember them, right?

My body definitely held a form of memory for that part of the night. I had marks and muscle aches, but that was all.

As I wracked my brain, trying really hard to remember, I got a single flash of a memory. It was like a flash of something happening in a movie. Something that just seemed to buzz there in my mind for a second. But then it started to flash repeatedly.

I thought I was seeing the same image over and over again. A pair of eyes that were a dark orange red color. That was definitely not a normal color. But then there were the eyes in these flashes. The eyes that kept appearing in my mind were in different memories.

They would be squinted with pleasure and further away from my face. Another time they would be really close to me as he seemed to be kissing me. Over and over I would see different memories and all I could see was his eyes.

"Those were some sexy eyes." I whispered to my shower as it dropped more water on my head.

Finally, I shut the water off and started to dry myself. I needed to hurry and dwelling on this stuff was not going to help me at all. I ignored all the marks as I got dressed for the day. I covered the marks on my neck with a small amount of makeup and some carefully layered clothes. Finally, I felt like I was properly ready for the day and could leave for brunch at the Horne family residence.