Peace

Things that happens to me are always misfortune, from slipping and falling to getting hit by a car. I don't blame my luck for that, but I do blame the things that hurt me. 'Whatever the consiquences I would get back at them-' is what I always think. But thinking is useless when you don't have the will to continue with it.

Believe it or not, I had a special person that I once loved before. She was sweet, lovable, playful, beautiful, encouraging, thoughtful, and most of all, she was the kindest person that I have ever met.

-But that was all a facade. She was a greedy, foul mouthed, and cruel. Once I found out I was being cheated on, I made the immediate choice of cutting contact with her and left her.

Even after weeks of suffering by myself, my mind always wonders through all the times she told me her lies, all the 'i love you's she faked, and all the feelings she stole from me. It was a one way destruction, I can't even sleep from all the words repeating over and over again, she fucked me up, and left my heart to be broken and torn.

That was where I found my newfound fear.

Love.

From then on, my execution from all the lies that comes my way still continues. It's hard, being alive.

If you were to live my life, I bet you wouldn't think twice about killing yourself. Because when you get to the point of where I am now, death really is the only paradise for my tragic life.

'KILL YOURSELF KILL YOURSELF KILL YOURSELF KILL YOURSELF KILL YOURSELF KILL YOURSELF KILL YOURSELF KILL YOURSELF KILL YOURSELF KILL YOURSELF KILL YOURSELF KILL YOURSELF KILL YOURSELF....'

The lines won't stop. 'I' can't stop. I'm going crazy. It's enough. ``Spiders``. I can't take it. ``Red moon``. Should I really do it...? ``Broken bones``. Yes I should. ``Black grass``. But what if it's just another nightmare after death... ``Green circles``. It won't matter. ``Fading corpses``. Anything is better than this shit show. ``Crying growls``. This is goodbye. ``Pink silence...`` I jumped, embracing death...