How poetic.

Today is a very nice clear blue sky, without clouds.

'It is so blue it's sick..'

Kawamura Kazuhiko, a twelve-year-old student in middle school. He had big round glasses from the day he could walk but that didn't mean his eyesight was horrible, he just had them to see into the distance, otherwise, it wasn't really bad. He had long black hair that hid most of his features excluding eyes. But, his hair looked nice and was soft so at least that.

Now the reason he has long hair is simple, the short answer is he doesn't care. The long answer is that he doesn't care enough to cut it, what for?.. His hair doesn't stink or anything like that and why even bother?..

To be honest he was a little bit scared. He had long hair for a long time and it wouldn't help his case if he was ugly or anything like that so he played it safe. Ignorance is bliss.

His eyes were pretty, well that's what his mother says. They are black, nothing special. He liked that he wasn't special because it means less trouble which he doesn't need right now. After all, he has enough of it...

What is the matter?..

Simple, he has been 3 months in the first year of middle school, this day starts summer vacation and he hasn't made a single friend. Now, normally that wouldn't bother him, because he was a lone wolf the entire elementary school. Because of his attitude people don't like him, he doesn't bother with much stuff, stays quiet but always has the top marks in his class. Now, this would be the average life of a bystander right?

Well, the problem is that because of his attitude people cross him off as a weirdo, not that it's the first time, but suddenly this weirdo tops his class the next month in every subject. Now, some people might not care, some people might show interest in him and that was fine. He doesn't care. But some people take it personally how some weirdo like him can get all the top marks.

That might have been fine if he at least had some friends. But he doesn't which makes him a very easy target for bullies who are simply jealous or just want to kick the guy for the giggles.

He has experienced 3 months of middle and let's just say it was anything but enjoyable. Constant remarks, laughing at him for the smallest things, purposely bumping into him in the hallway, tripping him then laughing at him, when something happens they usually just point at him. It's not fun.

Kawamura Kazuhiko was at his breaking point, should he just laugh with everyone and humiliate himself further and hope they stop?..

Should he fight back but risk that they were going to be more aggressive? Right, no one really like threw fists at him but what if he just gives them an excuse to do so? He never fought in his life, his mother said to never fight and she certainly must have a reason for saying so.. and he didn't want to fight, for what? To get a bruise on his face along with pain?

"Alright, class dismissed. Don't forget the homework that you got over the summer vacation. Enjoy your holidays." The teacher said the end with a smile.

"Hai.." The classroom answered. [Hai - polite yes, acknowledgment]

After the classroom answered the teacher left without another word, as he closed the door the classroom immediately went into a chatter between students and a certain three students were making their way into his direction. Kawamura said in the back right next to the window which was at the other end of the room from the door.

As Kawamura saw them he just inwardly sighed as they pretty much blocked the exit from the classroom and just stood there looking in his direction, smirking at him. This was going to be a long day...

As he was packing his stuff more and more people left until there was only him and the other 3 idiots...

Finally completely packing his stuff he stood up, he was around the average of the kids he was in class with. He wasn't short, but he was anything but tall...

"Finally finished packing mophead? If I didn't know better I would say you were waiting for us." As he finished all of them started laughing as if they said the funniest joke ever, pathetic losers...

Ignore them, his mother said so. 'Ignore them and walk away and they stop' As easy as it sounds he didn't really think it would work but he would try it.

So he didn't talk, didn't look at them, and just walked, eventually getting before them. He reached out for the door handle, it seemed like it was working.. were they just tired of him or wh-

Kawamura didn't finish his thought as a sudden blur was before his face. Suddenly the left side of his face hurt. The force was enough to knock his glasses off. Was he just pun-

Again he didn't finish his thought as suddenly another blur, now even more blurry as he didn't have his glasses, knocked the wind out of him as he suddenly went to the ground trying to catch his breath. He wanted to desperately say something so that the pain would stop. But he couldn't breathe. A fear suddenly strongly gripped his heart, was he going to die or-

He again didn't finish his thought as even greater force smashed into his face and he went onto his back. The fear got stronger and as the last shot into the light, he covered his face with his hands and his stomach with his legs. Desperately trying to catch his breath as more and more and more force smashed into him. A pain he never thought he would suffer. Everything hurts. It hurts so much that even a few sobs escaped out of his mouth. Still desperately trying to catch his breath, his mind working into overdrive, his heart beating so fast, he was scared. No. He was frightened. Was he going to die here?..

The pain continued, few went past his defenses effectively smashing into his stomach, which made it even harder to catch his breath and not die, then into his face. It seemed like hours for him before the pain stopped and he finally caught his breath, coughing like he almost drown. He started suddenly hearing again, he even smelt something, he smelt an iron-like scent. That thought went past him as he heard laughing and the laughing slowly got quieter and quieter until there was only silence, and him sobbing like a pathetic loser. He only asked one question,

Why?..

Why?!..

WHY?!?!?..

WHAT DID HE EVEN DO TO THEM?!!??!..

He punched the ground as he sobbed even harder, he is so pathetic. What the fuck did he think would happen?.. Why the hell did he think his mother would know something?..

He almost fucking died...

The reality just hit him, what if he didn't catch his breath? What if he didn't somehow cover his stomach and head and just suffocate.

.

..

...

He didn't know.

But as he started to perceive his surroundings and the saltwater that was just streaming down his face, he noticed that wasn't the only thing streaming down his face. The iron-like scent he smelled before? Yeah. That was his blood. They beat him until he was bloody, was this a gift for his vacation? They are probably still laughing. He clutched his hands so hard that blood started to gather into his hands too.

Shouldn't he just end it and be done with it? Why even bother, things would only get worse from here. How would he even do it? Jump from a high place probably. There wouldn't be any pain, he would just have to be sure to fall face first so that his neck would snap. He started laughing. Did he just plan his suicide? As he thought about it, it only got more bitter as he just imagined his classmates laughing at his grave, who is he kidding no one from this classroom would visit his grave. Three days later no one would even talk about him

...

This was his first fight. Could it even be called a fight? It was just a brutal beating...

Kawamura touched his face trying to get a hold of himself, after a few minutes of breathing and thinking he started to look for his glasses with his bloody hands, leaving everywhere a print of blood. Either from his face, his hands, or god knows from...

Around five minutes crawling on the ground like a bug but he still couldn't find anything.

"Fuck this.." He muttered under his breath, his voice was raspy. Now that he could taste he found that there was blood inside his mouth too. Incredible. Simply incredible.

Giving up on finding the stupid glasses he went to his bag and started to ramble through it. He should have contacts in there. It was a gift from his Ojii-san. [Grandpa]

Why did he wear glasses when he has contacts? Because his mother said so, he started laughing. But it was just a hollow, mocking laugh. What the hell did he ever decide for himself?..

Pathetic...

Around one minute of scrambling through his bag, he finally founded the box in which were his contacts. Well and then came pain. Twenty minutes of trying, poking himself, and almost crying later he finally got them right. He blinked a few times before he looked around. The world suddenly got cleaner, he was able to focus on his surroundings, seeing everything. It was even better than with glasses as there weren't any frames to block his vision. There was some blood but it wasn't much, touching his face the blood was leaking somewhere around his right eye, he suspected that it was the mole that he did have under his right eye. Shrugging he picked his bag and went into the direction of a male bathroom.

Getting there he cleaned his hands, face, and the bag where was some blood. Threw cold water in his face and for the first time in a long while looked at his face as he slicked his hair back with the water. Eyes black as the abyss, sharp features with some baby fat but for a twelve-year-old he was really handsome. Well for Kawamura he just saw an average face with disgusting eyes. When did he get such disgusting eyes? When he normally looked into the mirror he was smiling and his eyes were warm but right now he was looking at an expressionless face with eyes just cold and hollow. Was all that just a mask? Every smile before, did he mean it? Why did he have to smile like an idiot? To please someone?.. Ah.. of course... it was because his mother said to always smile. Why? When did he become so pathetic?

All the things his mother said to him were just wrong and wrong one thing after the other... He almost died because his mother said to ignore them. They will go away, she said. Where that got him? What was he even doing? He smiled, but it wasn't the warm, fake smile. No. This was an even emptier smile than before. Mocking the disgusting face he was looking at. As he was looking at himself suddenly all the images of them laughing at him, mocking him resurfaced, and for the first time in his life instead of just suppressing his emotions he just let them be. He felt such a rage that he thought his blood was boiling.

"AAARRRRGGGHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!.." He screamed as he punched the mirror before him again and again and again... Pieces of the mirror flew all around the room.

His right hand was completely bloody. He cleaned his hands again, the broken pieces of the mirror all around the bathroom. He looked at the injured hand and although the bleeding has slowed down he could tell that there would be scars. How poetic... Now every time he would look at his right hand he would see it smashing the mirror. Fantastic...

But strangely, his mind was clearer. Maybe someone would show up because of the noise from breaking the mirror but then suppressed the thought as it was summer vacation, everyone was already going home or something. Certainly not going around school breaking mirrors. Huh, this was getting annoying. Just how much must he mock himself until he has enough. Fuck off.

Grabbing his bag and putting it on his shoulder he looked around the room and decided to grab a bigger piece of the broken mirror. Might as well slid his veins if he has enough it. He put it in a sole pocket at the back of the bag and decided to walk away. Something new that he didn't even notice was that instead of walking like he normally walked, almost closing himself to himself, shoulders tensed and walking like a spineless loser.

Right now he put his hands into his pockets, which were on his pants, straightened his back, and walked with hidden confidence in leisurely style. He seemed taller when straightened himself, his hair still slid back and he seemed like a completely different person. He seemed like a really handsome young man instead of the pathetic loser that walked into the bathroom. Of course, Kawamura did all that subconsciously and didn't notice it. Even if he did he did not care, what he saw in that mirror was all that he thought of himself. Disgusting pathetic loser. That's what he was.

Walking slowly through the school the only sound that he heard were his footsteps. Getting to the lockers in front of the entrance, he unlocked it and put on his shoes while putting the slippers that everybody wore in there. Locking it.

Once again putting his hands into his pockets he walked out. As a new person or maybe he was always like this and just suppressed it. Who knows.