[Nani the f*ck?]

As usual my family were waiting for me to sign out of the game on time and punish me if I was even a minute late. However, I was actually about twenty minutes early this time. This had my parents somewhat worried as my father put down the tablet he was holding.

"Ah, Carrion, just the man I was looking for," my dad says with a bright smile, sliding the tablet gently across the table while my mother was still preparing dinner. "Amazing, Leo, absolutely amazing. Have you been keeping track of all of your crap? Look at that ranking."

I was. I had been staring at the tablet screen while it was in motion, barely managing to read the words 'Reputation Ranking' in bold gold lettering at the top of a black list of names and points. There were only a few names in view on the screen and they were the top five.

The reason only the top five were visible in what was a 'Top 300 World' ranking list was because they had been expanded to show the names of quests, titles, and general achievements performed by the player as well as how many Imperial Reputation points they were worth. Luckily, there was no other information except the names.

Between the fifth and fourth place people was a difference of three achievements and fifty points. Between four and three was a difference of just under forty. Between third and second place was a different of twenty-two points.

However, the difference between second place and myself was a whopping thirty-five reputation points. The name 'Life Hack' was the burning platinum name on the list above a sparkly gold name above a shiny silver name above dark bronze name above a normal white colored name. I was at the top of a world chart!

"You've been there for almost an hour, I got a text about it from the company as your sponsor and guardian," my dad explains with a satisfied smile. "If you can hold that position for three hours you get a title worth thirty points for stealing the top position and then you get a noob achievement worth fifty more. After that, you get ten points every day that you hold any number one spot as well as other bonuses for the reputation spot specifically."

"I have to get back… shit," I sigh tiredly after getting excited before taking a seat at the table.

"Language," my mother warns softly in the usual 'your life will end in an instant' way that moms used.

"My party is mad at me because I keep setting records and collecting powers," I argue tiredly, resting my chin on the table. "Now that I'm at the top of a chart, it'll just get worse. Especially if I go back in the game and TRY to collect reputation. If we set up the clan, though, our collective points could probably take the clan chart."

"Not so much," my father replies with a light shaking of his head that looked like a quick vibration. "The top ten clans in the list have at least a thousand reputation altogether, and that's just the reputation ranking. If you guys founded, now, you'd probably be in the top twenty or thirty which would make your friends look bad because you're the only one with over a hundred 'world' reputation. If you can't enter the top ten upon founding the clan, then don't found it yet. Or at all, just join a top clan and steal one of their vice positions."

Narrowing my eyes at my father suspiciously, I say, "You almost sound like you know what you're talking about. But, now, I won't sell out and I won't make grudged by using them for my party's achievements and then leaving to become competition. That's ass. Ass people do that."

"Why does it sound like you're trying to call me an ass person," my father asks as my mother simply laughs while taking small loafs of fresh bread from the oven. "I don't even play video games, I'm just telling you something that would work. You want to make enough money to retire in five years without going to college through playing video games? Your first and quite possibly only opportunity is knocking right now, what are you doing to answer it?"

"I need to be excused," I state simply, getting up from the table to grab a bottle of water from the fridge before returning to my room while drinking it down.

Out of the handful of us who had checked out for the first shift of body refreshment I was the first to return, signaling that the first of the others could head out. Skooma, Agnes, Conan, Oleander, and Merch were all sitting around the remains of the morning campfire tinkering with their skills or familiars or crafting. Next it would be Merch's turn.

"We'll be making camp here for the day for important reasons, you guys go ahead over and hurry back," I inform the group, deciding it would be alright for just me to watch the wagons for only a little while. With the time difference it would only be as little as fifteen minutes or as much as half an hour before Go at least returns.

Left alone in the camp with nothing to do, I debated what I should work on first before finally deciding I had one previous special ability and achievement that I had neglected properly training. That was for location reasons, though. Out here in the wilderness, there was no old lady with emotional baggage to stop me.

So, I walked a few dozen yards out from camp and just started emptying my mana in what I was going to start calling SMP. Spiritually Magnetic Pulses. Five pulses in, spirits started pulsing back all around me.

However, I did not stop but just kept emptying my mana in larger and larger pulses that trampled down the grass around me until I was finally dry and dropping to my knees from vertigo.

[Channeling Initiated]

[+20XP]

The world around me swam up and down and around for a long few seconds as I struggled to stay upright on my hands and knees. After I finally gave in and collapsed on my side, though, things started to settle down. Sadly, it was still another full minute before I was able to get back up on my feet.

When I looked around there was a small crowd of ethereal bodies gathered all around me almost to the point of blotting out my view of the sky and surrounding world. Even though I summoned them I was suddenly very aware of how many GHOSTS were floating around me. Very, VERY aware.

"Uh… hi… okay… Can anyone talk?" I ask hesitantly and awkwardly, staring down at the ground to hide my wide and frightened eyes as I hope that none of these spirits turns out to be some kind of demon in disguise.

Drifting passed my ear like a slow whisper came the word, "Speak…"

"Are you the only spirit here with coherency?" I ask while still looking down at my feet, reaching for Midnight Hauntings' hilt.

"Yes…" came the same hiss-like whispering reply that flowed by my ear like a stray, chilling breeze.

"All other spirits, pass from this world," I say while raising both my head and my sword. Suddenly, the spirits around me swirled and stretched inward into a small cyclone funneling around the blade of my haunted sword.

[Geist has grown stronger, +2 to all stats]

When the other spirits had passed all that remained was a single ghost hovering a foot or so above the ground with a more substantial body that was haloed in light rather than allowing light to pass through. They had no other features accept for a human form but their hands and face and body lacked both detail and proportion. Unlike the other spirits, though, this one was a much lighter gray that appeared white around the edges.

"My name is Life Hack, you may call me Hack," I say to start off with, resisting the urge to offer my hand for a shake. "I am sorry to have bothered you but I was only training my psychic skill. I have never met a spirit that spoke so I was unprepared to meet you."

"I see…" the spirit replies with no discernible action of any kind. "Spirit need… power… remain whole. Was strong… in life."

"I see…" I say in kind, wondering how to further the conversation. "Do you have any regrets or unfinished business? Want me to give you a proper burial or return possessions or a message to your family?"

The spirit was silent for a few moments before finally sighing, "Long… long gone… all of it. You have need?"

Was it asking if I wanted something? Nothing in particular. Except everything it could give me.

"May I ask who you were?" I ask curiously to continue out the conversation, trying to put down the foundation for a relationship with this sentient spirit while figuring out how to move forward.

Another period of silence and then, "Middle name… was Dew. All I know."

"Dew you mind sticking around for a while and just answering random question?" I ask, wondering if it would even be aware of what I just said. "I was going to work on making potions but if you've been inhabiting the area for a while you might be able to answer some questions of mine."

Drifting off of its own accord toward camp, the spirit says, "Nothing but… time."

"Cordycep Animatum," I say without moving from my spot, stopping the spirit in its tracks. "I see. Spore Shoal," I say aloud, triggering a full-body dispersal of spores. I had honestly been too scared to try this last night but now I wanted to leave an impression.

In this form I could not see or hear or anything very well, my visual range was limited to a few tens of yards and all sounds were vibrations that passed through me. However, I could see a fairly decent panoramic image all of the way around me with as much as sixty-percent clarity. That was more than enough to float over like a ghost in front of the ghost before slowly solidifying back into my body, clothes, and then armor.

"I found these nifty little creatures in a ruined lodge about a mile that way," I inform the spirit while point back the way it had come. "They were in a cellar full of really old bodies. Like, the spores had probably been living off of themselves and ruined food or liquor for decades after the corpses were used up. Know anything about what happened there?"

Settling itself down on the ground as its body lightens to an off-white color and its halo of shimmery light grows bright, the spirit actually seems to stand straighter as it says. "That was I!" Suddenly, that whispery voice had both volume and substance as well as some traces of emotion.

"A Forsaken cult was making a move on the Canfor region, their intent was to unleash a plague through the mid-south and hide the tracks of their transporting armies into Winter Wood," he informs me proudly, slowly gaining some shape in its arms that looked like muscles it might have once boasted. "If they succeeded, they may have recovered the Aegis! My compatriots and I headed them off at different locations such as the Hounder's Lodge. However… in the process, they exposed the Cordyceps in the lodge.

"It cost me my life, boy, but I performed a miracle to contain them underground and then purify everything within a mile with the fire of my own soul," he says, almost seeming offended as his shoulders gained breadth and his neck even became a little thicker. "They might have continued to use themselves to create colonies, but those colonies never left the lodge. You… did you tame them? Or you became them?"

"Both," I reply honestly. "My familiars cleared most of the active colonies, but there was some bones buried under junk and in the dirt that escaped the flames. I got infected. We froze the cellar to slow the process and once they went inert I tried to capture them. It failed. Kept failing. Then I started healing myself to buy time, it healed them. So, I just kept freezing and trying to Capture before finally freaking out and using Transmutation. It changed my body and the parasites in it by itself."

Actually nodding its head, the ghost says, "I see… one of my compatriots said it was possible to create antidotes from one's own body in rare cases if one was a powerful alchemist, or at least make one's body lethal to the parasites, but this… is undeniably possible. Change both the body and the parasites to suit one another… this is a terrifying thing you have discovers."

Now, one of its hands began extending into a long and narrow blade. "I thank you, young master Life Hack, for restoring some of my strength and memory. I also deeply appreciate that you cleaned the mess that I was forced to leave behind. However… I do not think I can allow the power you possess to exist."

Stepping back as Dew stepped forward and raised its sword-like arm, I point Midnight Hauntings forward and trickle electricity into the blade so that it arcs threateningly, and say, "You're a wild undead, defer to me."

[Acquired Skill: Intimidation]

[+25XP]

[Intimidation Uninitiated: Perform actions or use words both good and bad alike to act as coercion to acquire what you seek. Depending on the difference between levels, stats, and reputations, you may be able to get what you want with ease or make an enemy back down with words instead of blows. This skill makes that (5)% easier. Successfully Intimidate 5 people or monsters to Initiate]

[Intimidation Failed]

"Before, I had wandered astray," he replies without ever faltering in his slow and easy, overly confident strides. "Now, I once again belong to Raziel the Wise."

Pulling down the mask of my helm to expose the upside down broken black heat by the corner of my eye, I point out, "I belong to Melpomene."

Dew actually faltered for a moment after hearing and seeing this but then he just continued forward and said, "She is Neutral, this may sound safe but it is simply a safe way to say chaotic. You cannot use such a goddess as a shield before me."

[Nani the fuck?]

*