A Broken Past

The physician visits everyday. First thing in the morning and early at night. He had confined me to bed for about a week to make sure I had no other accidents to make my injuries worse. And it's only Wednesday. I groan. "Come on. Please let me get up. I am so tired of being in bed." I complain to my mother. She laughs softly. "Now darling that is no way for a princess to act. And the physician obviously stated that you were to be in bed for a full week to help your injuries. Not three days." I cross my arms. "But mother, I want to visit the princes. You and dad promised I could visit their castle."

She huffs and sits gracefully on my bed beside me. Over the few weeks that I have been here I have gotten more used to my birth parents. Now I am more comfortable with calling them mom and dad. Of course I never forgot my adoptive parents,but I had to come to terms that I won't see them again. That they were never my birth parents. Nor looking at my mother,I realize howuch I look like her. The same eyes,same hair,same complexion. There was one thing that always bugged me. "Mom? How come the Captain and I looked so much alike,even though she wasn't my birth mother?" Mom's eyes become sad.

"This is a story only your father and our parents know. But the Captain is-was my older twin sister. The only difference was our hair color." I sit up a bit wincing at the soreness in my torso but I ignore it. "What? That would mean that-" Mom nods. "She was royalty. And in line for the crown." "So what happened? Why did she leave Caricosia?" Mom takes my hand steadily. "Darling you must promise to not mention this to anyone unless your father and I give you permission." I nod. "I promise." "Back before you were born and even before your father and I were married my sister lived here. She was a great queen and the people loved her. But it didn't last. A queen is expected to act,look,and be with someone a certain way. She was supposed to marry someone apart of royal blood,but she hadn't fallen in love with anyone from the imperial line. Instead she fell for a soldier who was top of his class. Late at night she would sneak out to see him and they would spend hours together."

As she speaks I try to picture it in my head. " One night I was still up as she was sneaking out. I followed her to where they met secretly and found out about their affair. My sister saw me and begged me not to say anything. I loved my sister very much and I understood her. I knew that she hated the laws required for the imperial family just like I did. I swore to keep her secret and was honestly happy for her." My mothers tone becomes saddened. "They were so beautiful and happy together. I didn't want to wreck that,I wanted that so I let them be and acted as if I never saw them. But one day she comes to my room panicked. I find out that she had gotten pregnant by the soldier." I can't hold back my surprise. "She was pregnant? What happened to her child?" Mother sighs.

"She was of course terrified of our parents finding out,but she wanted to keep the baby. We had come up with the idea of finding a marriage of convenience for her and her husband no strings. That way the husband could be with who he wanted and she could be with her soldier. By the time we had foud someone though it was to late. A spy had caught them one night and arrested the soldier. She had to tell she had become pregnant. Our father sent the soldier away to the front lines. At the time that was as good as a death sentence. I tried to reason with him but he wouldn't hear it. He did let my sister carry her baby to term. There was no safe way to get rid of the baby without harming her. My sister was happy to keep the baby but miserable that she had lost the love of her life. The day the baby was born it was still born. To this day we still don't know why. It was a perfectly happy and healthy baby. I believe it was because it felt it's mother's broken heart and took on the pain as well. After that our father disowned her,he claimed that he had no daughter who would have a baby out of wedlock and imperial blood. He sent her to the garrison and revoked her title. Then he had the royal mages set a spell on the kingdom so that they would forget about their original queen. And she forgot that she was royalty." I can't hold back the tears.

"What happened to the soldier?" Tears gleam in my mother's eyes. "He was killed in battle. Your adoptive father is his brother. He stepped up to take care of my sister and showed her the ropes of the garrison. She fell for him and he fell for her. I went to visit every chance I got to see her and I saw that she was happy with him. I know she could still feel the pain from losing the soldier but she didn't know why. He made that pain ease with time and I could see it. I was happy she had found someone else. They married and we're happy. In a way my father had sent them with you to protect you as a sort of punishment to my sister. A reminder of what she had lost. But of course she didn't know that. To this day I still wonder what would have happened if that soldier had at least a little bit of royal blood. That maybe he could have been with her and ruled the kingdom together."

I sigh sadly,feeling for my other mom. The pain and sorrow she was put through. Losing the love of her life and her child all at once. "What was the soldiers name?" "Max. Your Max was named after him to honor my sister. They were very good friends. Max's parents and the soldier." The tears fall slowly down my cheek. My mother reaches a hand up and wipes them away. "Oh my darling. You are so kind. You feel what everyone else feels without meaning to. But darling you have to understand that was a long time ago and she was happy with Jack. Now get some sleep I will be back to check on you later." She kisses my forehead and stands. "Mom?" She turns back. "Where you afraid of becoming queen after your sister left?" She smiles. "I was terrified,but I had many friends and family who loved me and supported me. They helped me through it. As the ones who love you will." I nod and she leaves. Slowly I get out of my bed and walk to my window. The village is bustling with shoppers and families. For some reason it makes me sad even more and I return to bed closing the curtains blocking out the sunlight. Returning to bed my heart hurts and old tears fall from the pain that I have been through and the pain that my adoptive parents were put through. I cry until the blissful embrace of dark sleep takes me.