Training To Grow
[Congratulations! ]
[You have survived for 5 days inside the Forest of Goblins. You have cleared the dungeon.]
Adam looked at the messages. His heart stopped.
'Wait... Does that mean it's over?' He started trembling.
'Do you mean... I have to go back now?' He made an expression of horror. He was obviously terrified of going back to the real world, outside of the dungeon.
He started speaking out loud "No I...No I... I don't want to go back! There's nothing there for me! I want to stay here, just, just for a bit longer. Why would I go back there? Not now! It's too soon!"
He started remembering scenes from his life outside of the dungeon. A life he would never get to live again. Faces and smiles he would never see again. Hugs he would never get again.
Adam started crying.
For a moment, he felt powerful. After beating the boss monster. He felt like he could do anything and everything in the world. He could lose himself in the fighting and the struggle to survive.
But outside of here, he would have to face the losses he suffered.
An image of his lost family came to mind. All of them, lying on a rocky floor, blood flowing everywhere.
He couldn't help it. As soon as that image came to mind he started vomiting and crying.
'What was I doing here? What's the point of all this? Was I...having fun?' He felt guilty, guilty about running away, about thinking of treasures, stats and Gold. Most of all, he felt guilty about being alive. He felt guilty about being the only one who got to survive.
Being the only one who got to live, made him feel like he didn't deserve this life.
[ You can exit the dungeon by expressing your desire to do so.]
'Oh... So I can stay for a bit?'
"What...Mmm... What if I don't want to?" Adam asked, with a weak and frail voice, while looking at the ground.
[ You have 24 hours to leave the dungeon after clearing it. If you pass that delay, you will be forcibly expelled from the dungeon. Being expelled from the dungeon will decrease the rewards from clearing it.]
'This, this is great!' Just as he thought that, he felt guilty about it.
He felt guilty about feeling any kind of positive emotion.
'Maybe..Maybe I should've died with them. Mika and Mina were only eight years old. Mother was the kindest person I ever knew. Why? Why am I here when they're not? Am I worthy of being here in their place?'
His previous actions made him more and more certain that they deserved to live more than him.'They...They wouldn't be having fun... They wouldn't have run away. Something is wrong with me. '
He looked at the dead carcass of the Goblin Chief ' I killed it, and laughed about it. What kind of person does that?' His eyes were tearing up. He fell to his knees.
' How could I forget about everything? I should, I probably should...' He grabbed his dagger with both hands.
'I didn't even look back. I ran away. As if I was the one that really suffered. They died there and then. And all I could think about was myself. I felt terrible looking that way, as if they were monsters. All I could think about was running away. All I wanted to do was forget about them.' Adam raised his dagger towards his neck.
'Maybe it is better this way. I will see you soon Mina, Mika, Mom. Am sorry for leaving you all. That's right, I don't have the right to be here.' His dagger got closer and closer to his neck.
A window suddenly appeared.
[ A Certain Evil has used a substantial amount of Gold coins to issue you a challenge. Will you accept?]
Adam was shaken by the message. He looked at the screen with an emotionless expression before lowering his gaze towards the dagger in his hands. The dagger's tip was aimed at his face. He threw the dagger away and started throwing up.
He kept looking at the message. Unsure about how he felt about everything.
"Sure. If it kills me at least l would die while doing something..."
[You have accepted the challenge.]
[ A Certain Evil's Challenge [F]
You have received a Greatsword. Use it and strengthen your will or die.
Challenge clearance condition: Swing your Greatsword 250 times.
Current number of times you have swung the Greatsword: 0/250.
Reward: Depends greatly on your actions.
Penalty upon Failure: (None) ]
"What is this? Is this some kind of joke?" He said weakly. Even though he said that, he still got up.
"What's the point of this?"
Adam started crying. He cried a lot.
He cried more than he ever did before. Because, deep inside him, there was this feeling.
This feeling stronger than the sadness he was feeling.
This feeling stronger than the anger he felt towards the world.
This feeling stronger than the guilt he felt.
More than anything, he wanted to live.
He wanted to live, even though he felt guilty about being alive.
He wanted to live, grow, learn, explore and experience life.
As he realized this, all he could do was cry.
"Storage" he said while crying.
He pointed to the greatsword inside the cube that appeared on the Storage window.
A curved greatsword appeared in Adam's hand. As soon as he grabbed its hilt, his arm failed to lift it, and the greatsword's tip fell to the ground.
The curved greatsword was about 1.5meters long. It was basically just a bit less long than Adam was tall. It must have weighed at least 20 kilograms. It was rusty on some spots but Adam could tell that the material it was made of was pretty good. The sword's hilt and part of the blade were covered by a bloody piece of fabric loosely wrapped around it. It made the sword's hilt more comfortable to handle.
But the greatsword was way too heavy for him to use with one arm.
Adam grabbed the weapon's hilt with both of his hands. He managed to lift it up the ground. It was now perpendicular to the ground.
He tried lowering the blade's tip, in order to take a fighting stance, but that alone was hard enough for him. Just holding the greatsword with both arms, with the blade parallel to the ground, made Adam feel like his arm and shoulder muscles were going to explode. He maintained that position for about 30 seconds, before letting the sword hit the ground.
His face was red, his nose was still runny. But he wasn't crying anymore.
He was weak, and that annoyed him.
There were lots of things he had to think about. Lots of things to process. And he decided to do so while swinging this sword.
For some reason, the instant the greatsword entered his hand, his mind was clear.
After resting for about 15 seconds, he took the greatsword back into his hands.
He put his left foot forward and his right foot back, lifted the greatsword using both arms, and held it in a fighting stance.
He started counting"1,2,3..." He wasn't counting the number of swings he was making. He was far from able to swing the greatsword. He was counting how long he could stay in that fighting stance.
"44...forty fiiiive."He couldn't hold it anymore and let the sword hit the ground.
[ You have gained 1 Strength point.]
He decided to lie down on the ground, next to the greatsword.
After lying down for a bit, he thought 'They did die. I lost my whole family. They were the most precious people in my life. I can't even imagine a life outside of here without them. But, that doesn't mean I should die right?' A sudden feeling of guilt struck him after thinking that.
He got up and muttered "Nobody loved them as much as I did.", before taking the greatsword between his hands once more.
...
About one hour passed since the moment he received the dungeon clearance notification.
He was now able to hold the sword for about 10minutes in a fighting stance and he had gained 7 Strength Points. At first, he gained Strength Points easily. It wasn't the case anymore as it had been about 15 minutes since he gained the last one.
But, he had achieved the goal he had set to himself. Which was to be able to hold the greatsword in a fighting stance for 10minutes straight.
During that hour, he thought a lot when he was resting and cried a lot too. He still felt very guilty. But he didn't think about dying stupidly anymore.
At the one-hour mark, Adam was lying on the ground, looking at the ceiling.
'I wonder if they're looking at me from somewhere. If the dead become angels or demons. Am sure they are part of the angels watching me.' A tear fell down his cheek. But he was smiling. It was a very sad smile. It was the smile of a heartbroken person. But it was a smile nonetheless.
[A Certain Evil is looking at you.]
"All right, all right. I'll get to it."
After achieving his goal, Adam rested for 5minutes, which was the longest pause he had taken during that hour.
The Gods and Deities would have been very entertained by Adam's training. He was not only growing physically, but also mentally at the same time.
'I guess it's time to attempt swinging this thing.
He got up. Took his stance just like he was now used to. Left foot forward, right foot back. He lifted the greatsword with both arms. It felt a lot lighter and natural than it did an hour ago.
Adam raised his arms and the sword above his head, before swinging it in front of him, as if to cut the scenery in front of him in two.
But the momentum of the sword was too much for Adam to handle because of it's weight. The sword fell out of his hands and hit the ground.
Adam grimaced. He was still far from being strong enough to use the greatsword.
He decided to lie down once more.
'Just how strong was this Goblin Chief? It died pretty easily. I guess it was extremely strong but its Agility stat and Sense stat were low, probably. It was a bad match for him. It was obviously meant to be a bad match for the monster. Since what made me the victor was all found in the treasure room. Anyone could have done it. But not everyone would've found the secret passages. Well, I only found them because of the First Pioneer title. A title that I got after finding the Hidden Location. Which I only found thanks to the sleeping skill. But all this happened because I ran away. All of this happened because they died. Because of their death, I grew much stronger.' Tears were flowing out of his eyes.
'Even in death, I owe them my life. I'm sorry, I'm sorry Mina, Mika, Mom. Am sorry for thinking that I deserved to die. Am sorry for thinking that that is what you would have wanted.' It struck him like lightning. He got up quickly before realizing, there was something he had to do. Something he wanted to do but hadn't done. He looked around, not too sure how to do it.
He decided to take his greatsword with him into the center of the room, where it was the darkest.
He pierced the ground with the sword. The greatsword stood there. He took a step back, and got down to his knees and held his hands together.
He started praying for his family.
He prayed for their forgiveness, for them to be at peace and for them to guide him.
He prayed for about 30minutes. During most of it, he was crying.
"I hope you will all cheer me on from heaven. I will do my best to survive and live a good life. It feels selfish to say, as if I am lying to myself to justify my actions, but I deeply believe that that is what you would have wanted me to do." He said out loud while wiping his tears.
"I am sorry that I couldn't protect you. I am sorry that I can't be with you. I will do my best to live a life that you both, Mika and Mina, would admire. I will do my best to be the type of person about who you would brag about in school, saying {This is my brother!} with a smug face. Mom, I will do my best to make you proud. I promise the three of you that at least." As he finished his prayer, Adam was crying and laughing at the same time.
He opened his eyes and took the blade out of the ground.
His eyes portrayed confidence and determination. Like he had been reborn.
[A Certain Evil is very slightly pleased by the look in your eyes.]
"Very slightly? Aren't you a difficult one to please?" Adam smiled while saying that.
Although he wasn't in denial anymore, he was still very much in pain. But at least, he was now healing.
[A Certain Evil chuckles at your response.]
"Oh? I didn't know we could converse like this."
[ A Certain Evil says that, for the duration of the challenge, only it can watch your actions and send messages.]
"Alright. So you're A Certain Evil? Don't you have a name?"
[A Certain Evil says that it doesn't need to show others its name.]
" A Certain Evil makes you sound like a random evil you know? Like a weak one with no name."
[A Certain Evil agrees with your thought.]
"Are you a random evil? A weak one with no name?"
[A Certain Evil chuckles at your ignorance.]
"What? What's funny about that?"
Adam got no response.
" Am I wrong?"
No response.
Adam scratched his head. 'Weird. Anyway, let's get back to it.' He thought.
He looked in front of him. A single window had been floating there the whole time
[Current number of times you have swung your greatsword: 0/250]
Adam took his stance. He raised his greatsword above his head. And slowly lowered it. He followed the motion of a sword swing. Except that he swung the greatsword extremely slowly. His face was red and veins were popping on his arms, forearms, shoulders and neck.
He managed 4 slow sword swings before letting go of his greatsword. Each sword swing took about 5 seconds to perform. His abdominal muscles were killing him, as they were used to stabilize his stance.
He looked at the window in front of him.
[Current number of times you have swung your greatsword: 0/250]
'Guessed as much. These don't count as real sword swings.' He sat on the ground.