Chapter 8: That Familiar Nightmare
Shasta awoke with a start, gasping, her eyes tearing madly around the room. Mid-afternoon sunlight was streaming in through a crack in the curtains. She was in the little cabin in the woods.
Shit. I hoped it was a nightmare. It hadnt been, though. The nightmare that had actually awakened her was familiar enough now. It was always the same nearly every night.
Im serious, Jeremy. Two blue lines. See for yourself.
He shakes his head, exhaling heavily. Wow, babe, thats some kind of news. He doesnt meet her eyes. You know, Shasta, its not that Im not up for parenthood. Its just bad timing, thats all.
Bad timing?
You know What with my divorce and everything, it would just give Lisa more ammunition. Plus, he adds as the voice of reason, youre starting that action movie next month. You cant be running and jumping and shit with a baby bump. He hugs her reassuringly. We dont need to tell Eddie or anybody else. This is our business. Besides, Ill be with you every step of the way.
Time slows down. Jeremy is driving her to the private clinic, droning on and on about his new project. She cant listen to his words.
Next, shes lying on a table, her feet in stirrups. Faces lean over her, covered top and bottom, only eyes visible between stripes of hospital green. It will all be over soon, one masked face promises.
Machinery whirs, monitors blip. Overhead lights are blinding. Theres a whooshing sound and she feels pressure in her gut. There, now, that wasnt so bad, was it?
Somewhere, a baby is crying.
That was the part that always woke her up. The baby. Crying someplace she couldnt find.
And as hed promised, Jeremy had been with her every step of the way. After the clinic, he had driven her home and gotten her settled into bed. Hed even poured a glass of juice and left it on her night stand.
And he had left her there, going straight back to his wife. She wants us to try again. I cant pass up this one chance. You understand, dont you, babe?
The incident at Milos had been two months after that horrific day. As shed watched him across the crowded restaurant, the more normally hed acted, the more she had burned. She hadnt wanted the abortion. If shed known he was leaving anyway, shed have had the baby by herself. But he hadnt given her that option.
Now she was here, alone in the woods. Stiff from sleeping too long, she swung her feet onto the floor and shakily stood. The mirror on the wall over the tiny dresser told a sad tale. Having neglected to remove her makeup the night before, it was all smeared and smudged, and her false eyelashes were waving at half-mast. Annoyed, she tore them off and tossed them into the trash.
She padded to the kitchen sink and worked the pump handle, pouring water into a shallow basin. She used the bar of hand soap to wash off the remainder of the previous days makeup, instantly feeling fresher. A shower would do wonders, but apparently taking a shower was a whole thing that required advanced planning, something she was disinclined to do at this point.
Scanning the kitchen cabinets, she spied a box of saltines and took out a few, crunching them hungrily, washing them down with a cup of water from the round orange cooler in the corner of the kitchen counter. She realized that when it was empty, it would be up to her to refill it from the spring outside.
She shook her head. This place is batshit!
Unable to put it off any longer, Shasta took herself out behind the cabin to the outhouse and did what she needed to do. On her way back, she glanced over to the lodge across the lake and saw no sign of life. They were probably all gone to the airport.
What I wouldnt give to be on my way to Orlando right now. Or anywhere, really.
Back in the cabin, she once again looked over the available groceries, but found nothing that interested her. Instead, she returned to the bedroom. Climbing in and pulling the covers back over her head, she fell deeply asleep in minutes and didnt awake again until the following morning.