Chapter 11 :

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And therefore there were only a few people who really got her. But humanity would be doomed if it were for her. And as she told me this it was quite heartbreaking, but nobody should ever understand. Murder is never acceptable no matter how much they have hurt you. You shouldn't ever be able to commit a crime. Allot of people go through abuse, or pain but not everyone really becomes a murderer and we'll leave it at that. Case closed,

I sighed and looked at the work I was supposed to do, after I figured out Zera's back-story I knew that that was an awful place and a bad way to lose your sanity. That was just absolutely sad. And horrible and disgusting to also go through. No wonder she'd hate people after what had been done to her. But nothing justifies that murder is okay for any reason. Case closed, If you lift your anger on people that haven't done anything wrong. That is what a true psychopath would linger to. Her manipulative behaviour was very understandable. But it was also so unlogical due to all the murders she wanted to commit on the human race. For simply just disobeying for a bad bad rule. And therefore the narcissism from her owner got brought back to her own mind. But I couldn't twist my head around. That if she got hurt so bad. Then why did she have to just do it to others. Because even if I knew some bad people, I'd tend to let it go. But it may sound bad for me to say. And Zera would never care. But to be honest this is my point.

Why if you're hurt by the past would you care to bring the hurt to other people. That just doesn't make any sense. If you are hurt so bad. Don't portray the problem on other people that have nothing to do with your situation. And therefore you shouldn't stereotype what happened to you. That that always will happen to an entire group of people too. And therefore that's the end of the statement.

I sighed and started to look soggy out of my eyes. Because staying up so late. Actually made me so tired. That being unable to sleep was not something I could worry about. But to be honest it was hard to worry. I couldn't sleep. I could only work. As I started to feel tingly, that could've meant I already died in the real world and that my body had given out. I could have been already dead. And nobody would even know. Maybe that was part of Zera's sick twisted plan.

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But if I died I had to worry about my family. I had to worry about them ever seeing me. Or if they didn't believe. That would be the hardest part. I'm pretty sure that all the energy of our bodies. Could already be sure, drained and put in baskets that you put under dirt. And if it went that way. I would've never been able to see anyone again. And that would hurt. But now it wasn't the time to break down at any cost. I didn't want to break down. And if that would have been me in the exchange of me costing my life. That would have broken everything on me. But as movies say that ghosts are cruel and have no emotions. I sure as hell have emotions. And I'm not going to let my feelings corrupt me from anyone else.

Because putting bad light to them, would've that been a shame. I could already imagine Aunt Rika crying at my funeral. Knowing that I was dead. And she would've thought that she had nobody to take care of her in the future. And if I was dead. Who would've looked over my older grandmother. Because if I haven't lived. That would've been bad for me. And the one's I cared about it. If there was a funeral that said 'Here lies Addison Rulphy, death by the machine..' How bad would that have been. I wouldn't have survived if I were a spirit without my family's love. But honestly that couldn't be. I just had to see that for myself.

I looked at Emily as I felt more tinglier. And as my breath was taken away. My world was starting to fall apart. And day by day I felt more tinglier. And felt such pain that was unforgivingly painful,And painstaking. It hurt so much that it felt like I was unable to breathe. It hurt so much. As if I felt like I was dying. And yet I still remained alive.

I didn't want to be in this situation. God I wish I never had played that game. But I do know the pain I went through. Was with you. And I know that the pain. Would've never been the same without you. Because even though my spirit felt weak. I was still with you. I had to let you know, that I couldn't live without you by my side. And my spirit would've been so crushed. That I had no reason to live for anymore. Aren't we just humans in another world? That are taken from their bodies. I just hoped that it wouldn't be true. And that would've broken anyone. But I'm not going to give up. No matter what my state of mind,and how it would have been at the time. I'm not going to give up. After everything and everything that awful robotic monster had done. She once had to get what was getting us back to her. If only we had a plan. 3

God I was stupid. I should've known back then that this was one unforgiving trap. And that would've helped if I'd knew sooner. But still it's time for me to clean up the mess she'd made implying that Zera no matter what. Should have never gotten away with this.

I sighed and looked up and broke down over my chair a few times. And my pain was not going to let me stop. And soon I felt as if I was only a gush of air. It could've been my imagination but nobody could know that for sure. If I was dead now. I couldn't do anything. Couldn't greet my family. And if they didn't see me. That would have been a bigger problem. And therefore I had to let people know what I honestly was trying to achieve. If my future was broken as a bird's future being chased by a cat. With a broken wing. That would mean I wouldn't develop as a person anymore. And had no future. What would my friends have to say at my funeral. Despite being alive for only a small amount of time. And then just gushing away with the wind. That would have been heartbreaking, knowing if they wouldn't see me anymore. I would have been and would've been. Redeemed dead.

I twitched due to all the pain I was given. And soon in no time I stood up. And felt like a fresh gush of wind. In new Brunswick as the sea hits the shore. I didn't feel the pain. I could have swore I still had seen everything and everyone I've seen before. And therefore had to let them know what had happened.

A few sighs left my coldened breath. As Zara sighed and looked at me.

'Addison, it's time to see your loved ones." as I sighed and gave a small smile.

'Got it.." and Zara sighed and looked at the computer and started programming and hacking as crazy. Which was something I would''ve done too. And therefore she opened a program. And looked over and sighed. I knew Zera had me in her trap and there was nothing I could've done now. Soon a big pink portal opened as Zara grabbed my hand. And the portal nearly closed. And I got grabbed in. But my hand could've been cut of. And that would kill me. And it hurt but I was still attached and still got through the portal. And this was the sight that broke me. But I'm not dead. If I was dead I would've just started a new life over again. If I was dead I couldn't move or do anything.. right? But we could also have been talking

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about past perspective. But this would've just gotten out of hand way to quick. If only my younger man would've known. That would be so much better. Then being left of dead. What I didn't realize at the time. But maybe I realize now.

I got through the portal. And got frizzly dizzy from all the colors going through. And the colors would have been bold. And that was the broken way of the boulevard of broken dreams. This time it really was a boulevard of broken dreams for me. And that was going to break me. I got so dizzy that I even started missing my head. I often hurt myself on objects of other planets or universes. And that would have costed me everything. I just hope I can wake up, from this bad dream. If it was all a dream. That would've been better.

But with Emily that's the only fuzzy thing putting a smile on my face. When everything went wrong. That was one of the only lights of this never-ending nightmare. I was happy, but not as happy when I was out. But that would've been found out later.

I sighed and I nearly hit my head on objects from other universes. And places. But I could never know what would've happened in another universe. That would have been bad would it. Who could have known what for universe I would have walked into. That would have been bad. And I don't want anything bad to happen to me. Because I don't feel like causing any paradox today.

Zara sighed and grouched herself together. And looked with a slight look to me at my flanneled vest. And had to say the following. But I wasn't really prepared for it.

'If you want to save yourself. We have to go back to the past. But you might cause the time to collapse, and therefore be stuck here forever. I can tell it can only come with a risk. But if you are so desperate then go ahead. And let me lend you towards the past."

I sighed, and wanted to recall what I just said. With buzzes in my head. I didn't want to sound desperate. Looking through her pink hair, and green eyes. She started to sound like Zera at one point. So I didn't want to sound suspicious. But

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yeah, I still agreed. And I had to make sure to fix the past one for all. I may have been an Addison, while this had the chance of creating an alternate reality, or another Addison. But if it were only to save one Addison. And for me to fade away from the glove. It would've been worth it. Only that if it came so far. I'd never had met Emily, or anyone in my life. I could have become someone else. But nobody would know. Since saving yourself in time. Could cause a paradox, and an alternate reality. And therefore me or him. Could split like cells. Seperate or worse. Create an alternate timeline. That could have clashed with mine. But the possibilities were endless. For one Addison to die. Another one had to be saved.

I soon felt as I was drowning. And then with Zara the portal closed. Into an ocean solid blue. And there I saw my younger self at a computer. But he couldn't see me by now. And I didn't knew what to feel. But started looking at him. As if I saw myself, but this time it was seeing myself. After a computer. And there I saw him programming. And talking about something I've talked about ages ago. I wanted to scream, I wanted to speak. But it was impossible for him to hear my message. Since I was already dead.

Zara then sighed. And replied with the words. In her robotic monotone. The walls were covered in posters such as Green Day, Sum 41, and Nirvana and other various rock bands. But that wouldn't have stopped me. And only if I had the guts to do something at the moment I would have done that.

Zara sighed and looked me strict as a mother child relationship. And sighed.

'If you wanted to do anything, about you fucking up. You better do it now."

But I was scared for any honest reaction. The only thing I could know was that there was a chocolate mug and since water kills electronics. That was my only choice I could have made at the time. I knew this could cause an alternate timeline. But in my state of mind this was my only choice. I looked at my younger self. And decided to do the following. I thought of the following as to spil the cup as that would have destroyed the keyboard. And therefore it wouldn't have done anything. But Zara was angered and I couldn't figure out why.

'What did I just say? You caused a paradox!" and I didn't got why. But later she told me. And I got my dumb head to answer. 'What? You didn't give the time to explain or anything!' and Zara mumbled.

'I'm going to be stuck with an idiot for you in eternity, I told you earlier in notes do never contact your younger self, even with psychical contact. So now we have an Addison that will either die or dissapear, or two at the same time. And how do you think I can keep up with both of you? You idiots!' "And now we have to go all the fucking way back, to stop yourself from killing yourself, and fucking the fuck up!'