Chapter 38

Ryu sat by my side then helped himself to the scrambled eggs and fried sausages I made. The look of pure satisfaction on his face when he tasted them brought me immense joy.

Candise made herself a cup of coffee but turned green after a sip. She held her midriff while groaning in pain. "Fuck I think I'm gonna puke" was the last thing she said before running to the bathroom.

I snickered. Serves her right for getting wasted.

"These are amazing Aito" Ryu moaned, practically inhaling the entire breakfast. I couldn't help but laugh. I also felt proud of myself. This is the first time I'm actually cooking for someone else and it feels so good. I placed my chin on my wrist and watched Ryu eat with a contented smile.

This guy is truly beautiful. To me, he was getting more and more attractive with each passing day.

He was wearing a black T shirt with three of the buttons open, revealing a sturdy smooth chest and a pair of dark skinny jeans accentuating those thick thighs. Black against his white skin was a sexy contrast.

His dark hair was damp and fell in waves over his forehead and eyes, lips were soft and glossy due to the residual oil from the eggs and sausages. I just wanted to reach out and run my fingers over his exposed skin, lick his glossy pink lips, run my fingers through his hair, pushing it back so I could see his eyes clearly.

I've never been this smitten by a person before. Ryu made me want to explore. He evoked from me, things I didn't even know I could feel. Maybe it was all happening too fast but I didn't care. I just wanted to be with him. To remain by his side. To listen to him speak, to watch him do his stuff, to kiss him and do all those things a couple does. Like wear matching T-shirts, go on long walks or drives, sneak kisses during a movie, go to parks and play games, first kiss on a Ferris wheel, and so much more.

It wasn't until he cleared his throat, bringing me out of my reverie that I realized I was staring blatantly at him. That too with my mouth hanging open. I quickly snapped my jaw shut and focused on the cup of coffee in front of me.

Ryu started to laugh and I went beet red. Damn how could I do something so embarrassing? Ugh!

"It's okay to stare at me you know. I'm yours now" he teased but my heart skipped a beat. He's mine now. Only mine

Wow.

I felt him touch my head and I recalled the fact that I'm going to be on the receiving end of our sexual activities so I flinched and the action didn't go unnoticed. He sighed as he dropped his fork and turned to face me.

"Look at me Aito"

I didn't.

I couldn't.

Not without picturing him on top of me, doing that. I couldn't even find it pleasurable. Anal sex. It would hurt. A whole lot. How could he even want that for me?

"Look at me Aito-kun" he said again, in a much stricter tone.

I couldn't help it. Not when he spoke like that, sounding so sexy and controlling, so I did as he said. He gently cupped my cheeks with his palms and looked straight into my eyes. "You promised me you'll stop this, didn't you? What's that brain of yours cooking up right now?"

My eyes widened as I recalled my promise to him. But... could I tell him the truth? He didn't want to believe that I like him at first and now that he does, what would he think if I tell him what I'm thinking?

"You're scared aren't you?" he asked, lowering his voice and tone. He sounded gentle...soft.

"I'm sorry for what I said. I forgot that you're new to this. We don't have to do it if you're not ready"

I gasped. "W-We don't?"

He smiled that sweet smile of his. "Of course not. Do you think I'll force you? We can keep going with what you want. I'm okay with that. We'll go at your pace"

"But I don't want to disappoint you. You have needs. W-Won't you go to someone else if I can't do it?" I whispered the last part, feeling insecure.

If Ryu isn't satisfied with me, he might go for someone else. I mean, I'm not special. In fact, I don't even deserve a guy like Ryu.

He closed his eyes and groaned then pulled me closer to him.

"Aito, baby, you won't disappoint me. I'm not with you for the sex okay. I'm with you because I like you"

My heart...

Someone that isn't Aera likes me.

Despite how fucked up I am.

"I'm sorry Ryu. I really like you. I do but going that far... I don't think- well, I'm not-"

"It's okay sweetheart" he brushed back my hair and planted a kiss on my forehead. "It's perfectly fine. We'll move on your own pace. There's no need to rush. We've got all the time in the world. I'll wait for you. Whenever you're ready, I'll be ready"

Tears pooled in my eyes as I wondered how I got myself such a caring man. He understood without me having to explain it. And he called me sweetheart! Coming from him, it sounded different. So intimate.

Fuck. Just how lucky am I?

"I should decorate your neck often though. Red is a great colour on you" he teased and I swatted his hands aways from my face. Such a pervert.

Next time, I'll be the one marking him all over.

********

I spent the entire Sunday with Ryu and it was the best and most peaceful time I've had since Aera's death. We laughed, teased each other, played games, watched movies and in just that time, I found out a lot about him.

His full name is Gotou Ryu and he was born in Japan but moved to Sydney, Australia when he was very young. That explained his fluent English and the sexy accent. I actually never knew he could speak English until now and I have to say, it made him even sexier than he already is. He could also speak Chinese. Damn, I have a multilingual boyfriend who's hot, caring and understanding. People would be jealous if they knew.

How I wish I could flaunt him.

He told me his favourite colour is black which was kinda obvious for he wears black almost all the time. He loved to sing and dance when he was younger and could still play the guitar and piano. We have a piano at home so I'll invite him over one day and make him play me a song. Oh I could see it already. It would be so romantic.

He loves all kinds of sports and he works out three times a week. No wonder he's so fit. Solid abs, huge biceps, wide strong chest, toned legs and a huge dick. I snickered to myself wondering if working out actually makes a dick thicker and longer or maybe he was just born that way.

I never met his mum though. I left before she came back and I was kinda glad. I'd be lying if I said the mere thought of meeting his mum didn't make me super nervous.

Ryu actually didn't want me to leave and neither did I but I had to go sort things out with my friends and also prepare for Monday's quizzes.

Ugh so annoying.