Chapter 13

It was late at night when we arrived at the dorm since we were in the same dorm where we went straight. He said that tomorrow he will just park his Ducati in his condo. And why he was sleeping, I don’t know.

“It would have been fun if Grace was with us,” he said. We were going up the stairs to his room.

Did he say happy to be with Grace? Does he mean I'm not happy to be with him? Grrr.

He bit me. “So, I'm not happy to be with you?” I raised an eyebrow in response to him.

“AHM, even if you don't do anything, I'm happy.” He said in a soft tone. I didn't realize that I was on the floor of my room. And he would go upstairs to get to his room.

He was behind me, so I turned to look at him, so we could talk properly.

“So, can I go inside my room?” I promise goodbye here.

He nodded then struggled against it.

“AHM, bye?” I winced at his simple answer. But I didn't expect him to kiss me on the forehead and then quickly turn around as if he had done something wrong. I secretly smiled at that simple action. I know in myself that I have forgiven him, but the only pain he caused is hard to forget. It's easy to forgive, but it's hard to forget. I don’t want to risk my heart for him, but what can I do if he sometimes breaks it.

And now that he is here again, little by little he is entering my heart again. Just a simple gesture, I was very fast, and I fell immediately.

“Your boyfriend?” I almost jumped because Ate Melay suddenly came out of the room. She had her bath towel on her shoulder and she carried the small bucket in her right hand. I shook my head at her as if I were a child caught doing a miracle. “No, A-ahm, just a friend.” I smiled at her which ended in a frown as she raised an eyebrow at me.

“But, you seem to be in love with each other?” She said with curiosity in her voice.

“No sister, he's my friend best friend.” There seems to be a blockage in my throat when I mention that.

She just nodded at my answer then went straight to the restroom. I entered the room since it wasn't locked because Ate Melay came out, and I didn't need the key.

“Hi, MJ!” It was Kathy who was at the study table. She turned to me as I entered the room.

“Hello, assignment?” I watched for a moment what she was doing. She nodded,

“yup! That much e, annoying!”

This answer annoyed me. She was annoyed because of the excessive amount of assignments. They say I'm independent because no one tells me what course I want to take or what I want to do in life.

They are unlike that kind, of course, you take because they are like that in our family. So now they are working with students so that one day they will not be criticized for what they were taught. It's even happier if you like what you're doing. Even if it’s hard, it’s still fun because you’re enjoying it. I just want Kathy to be able to do that, for her future as well. It is forbidden to give up because we have a long way to go to find a good job.

The next day, I caught up with Grace at the school gate as if in trouble. Her face was frowning as if heaven and earth had fallen.

I was about to approach her, but someone approached him first. A tall petite woman. Maybe we're just the same age.

I just saw her now, it looks like Grace and she is very close to the way they hug each other. Her sadness disappeared like a bubble.

The next few days, even if we just sat side by side in the chair, she didn't 'notice me. I haven’t talked to even one of them. Even Dylan I don’t see. Not even a word between the two of them, I heard nothing.

I'm not going to guess what their problem is with me.

I also floated when I went to work, even though I wanted to focus on what I was doing in the end, I would still be scolded for being sloppy.

Furthermore, I wanted to confront them, but every time I approached, they avoided me. They immediately turn away.

The following week, they suddenly spoke to me. Grace invites us to go here, there, like that. I forced a smile. I feel like a toy that will suddenly be played with again after they have not moved for a few days.

But, I just ignored them because they might have had a problem, and they didn't want to stress me out because they knew I still had a job. “In the Maldives, I dream of going there!” We're on 7/11 now lying down, getting ready to have ice cream. Dylan hadn't spoken before. It’s just looking at nothingness. When Grace left for a while to buy another meal I had a chance to talk to Dylan.

I held his hand that was on the table, in front of him 'me. There was only a table between the two of us, but it seemed like he had come a long way.

“Is there a problem?” He shook his head at my question then removed his hand from my grip.

“Nothing, Joy. Umm, how are you?” It's a greeting but it doesn't seem sincere. It still seems guilty.

“It's okay, I'm tired, but I can still do it.”

“I'll take you home,”

“No, I can go home alone.” I couldn’t help the sarcasm in my voice.

“Are you sure? I'll take home Grace too,” yeah. they are best friend. And I'm just nobody. I nodded then stood up, without saying goodbye, I came out from 7/11. I once told myself that I would never be able to attach to anyone. But, here I am full of people around me. I’m not an alien, I just don’t want to give my heart back to the surrounding people. Because when I trust I give in full. But what can I do? Only God can tell what has happened, is happening or will happen in my life.