Shawn’s Past

The next week, art class, 9A began to learn shading techniques. Those who were talented were able to pick it up by eye. There was a certain flair needed in a person in order to observe how a teacher moved their pencil to create a unique stroke or the way the light and darks of a drawing is formed through the shades between black and white.

Shawn followed along with the teacher's instructions. With every stroke of his pencil, the fruits slowly came to life, almost as if it was natural for the fruits to be this life-like. The students sitting beside Shawn this lesson was Kenny and Lizzy. The pair was struggling to do their shading. Curious as to how others on their table were doing, they looked at Shawn who was quiet the whole Art lesson.

"Dude, what the? Why are you so good at this?" Kenny was flabbergasted. He stood up and walked behind Shawn to get a better view of his work. Lizzy too followed and wanting to see it closer up.

"Huh? What's wrong?" Shawn did not hear Kenny clearly.

"How are you shading so well?"

"I just followed the teacher's instructions."

"What?"

"Yeah."

Within a span of an hour, Shawn had done the basic hatching technique to create the shadows and light points on the fruits. To add depth, he was going to do cross-hatching on the pre-existing lines now. Seeing the commotion in the back table, Ms Stella came over to see Shawn's work. As expected, her intuition was correct.

"Shawn, you can shade very well. I am very impressed." Ms Stella placed a hand on Shawn's shoulder, encouraging the new artist. There wasn't much to criticize about the student's art piece, with only one minor correction that could be easily done. "When you are hatching the lines, make sure to not apply too much pressure in the beginning as it will result in different darkness in a line."

"Okay." Shawn replied. Everyone went back to their seats and got back to struggling. By the end of the 90-minute lesson, most students were mostly done with their shading. Students were to bring it home and finish up with the remaining shading and hand it up the next morning when they got to school. The next lesson they were going to start on colouring of still-life drawings.

"Shawn, remember to complete the drawing as homework." Ms Stella emphasised the word 'homework' for Shawn. Unable to do anything about it, the teenager could only nod, disheartened.

When school ended, Shawn went home as per normal that day. Emilie was staying back for badminton practice. The boy got time to himself to reflect on his school life so far. Three years. It has been three years since he had left Singapore and came to Shanghai with a new perspective on life. Everything over here could be said to be significantly slower. The word stress was non-existent or misinterpreted by the students in the school.

If anyone in his year level were to ever experience what he did or what a typical Singaporean student did for examinations, they would be crushed by the stress levels. In the past, work was the norm for Shawn. Everyday after school, he would head for another intensive round of lessons until 6pm in the evening. The day wouldn't end there as he would have to go home and do his homework for the next day too. The stress piled on just as much as the work. When the boy was 11, the young vase started to show signs of cracks. His mind was tired, the pressure was parents and teachers never stopped coming. Eventually, "Crack!"

Shawn broke down. In a burst of emotions, he fled from the tuition centre he could basically call his second home. Running off, the boy did not care one bit about where he was going. All he knew was that he needed to run. Run as fast as he could. In the back of his head, he was worried that the teachers from the centre would find him if he was any slower. And so, he just ran.

Why does my parents want me to work so hard? How much work was too much work? Does Mum and Dad even consider my feelings? Those were questions that ran inside Shawn's head while he was taking his time to walk back home. His whole primary school life was focused on that one finally Primary School Leaving Examination. Every step of the way was catered to building up his foundation.

"You need to work hard so that you can get into a good secondary school. There is no buts. Work hard now. It is for your own good." That was what Shawn got as an answer his whole childhood. There wasn't much of a 'play time' in his life. Sure, he had Pokémon as a childhood game, but that did not provide the boy an escape and rather, it just felt like a time waster.

Walking back home, it had given Shawn the opportunity to rethink his entire life. When had he ever done something on his own volition? When had he ever gotten a say on something to do with his academics? This was his life, but it felt like his parents were living it for him.

That day, when Shawn got home, both his Mum and Dad did not give him a scolding. They had seen how distorted and lifeless their son had become and for the first time, grades were not the first thing on their mind. Stopping tuition for a week, they gave the boy freedom in choice and after that, they had allowed for him to choose another tuition teacher of his liking. Of course, Shawn was never the same hardworking student anymore. He did homework just to get it out of the way. He went to school because it was mandatory. He went to tuition because he did not want his parents to worry. In his mind, he was doing everything like a mindless routine.

That was, until he had received the opportunity to go overseas to study. Shanghai had opened a new gateway for Shawn. Realising that he could be himself in this new environment, the 12-year-old decided that he would live for himself and do whatever he wanted. If it meant not doing homework, the boy would not do it. Of course, that life all went back to the norm when he applied for the audition.