BEAUTY OF INNOCENCE

From the balcony, Bernard stepped towards his room after about one hour, and found his servant squatted down at the foot of his bed. He noticed that the bed sheet, which he threw away, had been laid again as it was. Bernard sighed deeply recalling the series of events one after the other like in a film with flash back technique.

"Why did you shout at that child in that way…? Bernard Hamu…?" The servant could no longer suppress his pain and asked that direct question from his master.

With repentance, Bernard asked himself; what offense she had committed to be treated in that manner. He was unanswerable to the question raised by the servant. Bernard admitted that it was not Nandana Menike's fault, but his. He lay down on the bed thinking of what treatment he could get to heal the wound in his heart.

"Who else… accept YOU for that child…? Suppose.., she did commit a big mistake… She is still an inexperienced, immature, fatherless, motherless child… You could have made her understand kind-heartedly, other than jumping at her mercilessly…"

Bernard raised his head and looked at Periyavar signaling him to inquire what she was doing down there all alone.

"She ran down the steps crying bitterly and closed the door of her room… Whole of yesterday, she had been waiting for you even without taking meals… When you were fully drunk, and lay on the settee unconsciously, she is the one who removed your shoes and socks… and guarded you until mid-night… And also, she is the one who fetched water with me in the morning for you to have a wash…"

Periyavar's words further tore his heart apart. He tried to figure out the things he did for her. He was obviously well aware of the fact that how she respected him in every possible way and how she attempted to make him happy from the moment of losing Sandra's love and care. When she lost her loved ones her mother, her grandma even Sandra, she urged the protection of Bernard; the only reliable guardian she had. When he was under the influence of liquor, it was he who reached her and derived such warmth, pleasure, satisfaction and fulfillment of his bodily needs to which she showed no objection. She offered everything; the most precious thing a girl should protect till she got married. In short, she sacrificed everything in the name of love and trust. He repented; how unfair he had been; without understanding the psychological, physical and emotional state of an adolescent, he had behaved in a very rude manner. Tears started welling up his eyes with the realization of how guilty he was and how innocent and correct Nandana Menike was.

From time to time, Periyavar remembered painfully what Nandana Menike did and said. No comparison could be made with Sandra in terms of wealth and the degree of knowledge; yet, Nandana Menike, undoubtedly would outmaneuver Sandra. Though the marriage between Bernard and Sandra had been confirmed, Sandra had another affair and made love with him. Forgetting everything and forgiving her, Bernard immensely loved her. Kicking out at that humane quality, she again got entangled with her teen age lover Shamal. To wait for her and to lead a happy life again with Bernard was an absolute myth. Nandana Menike was a daughter by kinship. According to social conventions, she was an illegitimate child. She had no second thought to select him as her guardian. She showed no objection at that crucial hour when she lost her virginity as she had placed that much faith and trust in him with no limits. These thoughts crept into Bernard's mind and started torturing his heart and soul, when he got back to his real consciousness.

Bernard explained everything of what happened to Periyavar. Despite Periyavar, being his servant, he disclosed everything to him as he had nobody else to tell and also no other option to relive his mind. Being matured enough with social experiences, he listened to his master with patience. It was pointless to repent of what had already happened. What was of prime importance was to face life.

"How much does that child respect and trust you…? Good that at least you could understand it even being a bit late…"

Periyavar very carefully lined the words up.

"People will laugh at me Periyavar…" The respect and pride of his descent, the social status, and the dignity of his social class and so on were the matters that agitated in his sub conscience and without knowledge they came up to surface and were articulated.

"Those laughing people will ever come and ask you about why you are not well…? Did you eat or anything of that sort…? They will come and join you when you lavishly spend on drinks…! Am I right Hamu…?" He answered the question with many questions.

The silence prompted Bernard's mind to look for Nandana Menike.

"Go and see what she is doing…?"

Periyavar got up from his squatting position.

"What have I got to say Hamu…? You better yourself go and speak to her…"

What he said was correct. He realized that sending representatives would not serve the purpose.

The wall clock indicated the time, which was twenty minutes past two. Then only he could understand the time he had taken to talk with his master. He went down to the first floor to prepare lunch.

Bernard slowly opened the door of the visitor's room of the second floor, and took a peep. Nandana Menike was not to be seen. He thought she could have gone to the first floor with Periyavar. In the meantime, he noticed a parcel lying on the bed. He went up to it and opened.

He found some clothing items folded properly and kept. He learnt that all the garments were the ones which were bought recently for her by him. Next, he saw the gold necklace lying next to the parcel, which he presented as a gift on the occasion of her puberty ceremony. He could remember it was there around her neck two days before. He surveyed the room further and found that Koinmenika's cloth bag was missing. All those confused his mind and a sense of fear ran through his entire body. He hurried to the first floor and called out Periyavar.

"Periyavar… Periyavar….!"

Hearing his master's unexpected urgent call, Periyavar ran up to the flight of steps, from where he could see Bernard descending.

"Why Hamu…?" He saw a terrible shock was etched on his face.

"This child is not in the room…!"

"Chuti Menike… not there…?" His eyes went up in bewilderment. He was deeply worried for not paying attention to that desperate child for such a long time.

"Don't know whether she has gone home…" Periyavar guessed after a moment's thought.

Since Kapilasena had come, Bernard thought, there was more possibility for her to go with him.

"Before the rain starts, go and check…! Hurry up …!"