Chapter Six - Kace

"Kace!" I hear someone yell behind me, and I stop walking, turning around to see Arian maneuvering through the crowd of students. I sigh to myself as I watch him trip over himself many times, bumping into almost everyone as he makes his way towards me. A klutz as always, I think, but I smile. Arian finally makes it to me. "Kace, are you okay?"

I give him a reassuring smile. "Yes. Sorry if I worried you," I answered. My voice was confident, but I wasn't; every person that walked by seemed to stare at me like I was some kind of freak. Out of nervousness, I hugged one arm around my body, clamping my fingers around my other arm. I felt completely exposed and defenseless.

"I'm so sorry, Kace," Arian said, and his expression was pained and ashamed. "I shouldn't have said what I said in the lunch room. It's my fault you threw up."

"It's not," I answered without hesitation. "It's not like you knew what was going to happen and then did it on purpose. You shouldn't have to watch what you say just because I'm around you."

Arian opened his mouth to speak but I cut him off, "I got to get to class now. I'll see you there."

Before turning to leave, I gave him a small smile, and soon he returned it, and then turned himself to go find his friends. I gave a sigh of relief; at least Arian was feeling okay.

I made my way to class while trying not to draw too much attention to myself, but it didn't work. Those who saw me turned to their friends to whisper something or laughed quietly as they went by. Was my throwing up really such a big deal? There was probably more to it. Most likely, they connected me to what happened a long time ago. To them, I was like a two-part show.

Finally in the safety of the classroom, I relaxed in my chair. At least in here I didn't have to worry about anyone bumping into me, but the remarks were another matter; it seemed as my classmates were laughing at me too.

I did my best to ignore them, and for now, it was working. If I didn't listen, it didn't bother me. Happy with the little peace it brought me I laid my head down on my desk to block the noise. The desk was cold and numbed my face, while distancing myself from reality. I just wanted things to go back to how they were before, when I was locked in my room all day and all night, or before that, before any of this happen. I wanted to go back to when I was normal, and everything was okay.

Suddenly, I felt something hit the side of arm, and looked to find a paper wad on the floor. "Hey, Mental Kace," I heard someone yell at me from across the room. When I looked in the direction of the voice, I saw a group of people laughing. Who was talking to me?

I had to give them points, though, on the nickname. It was creative and it actually made sense. Most of the time, the names I heard people call me were cliché. You could only call someone a freak so many times before it starts to lose its meaning. This name, however, was unique and personal to just me. 'Mental Kace' hurt a lot more than 'freak'.

There was then a loud bang and we all jumped at the noise. Beside me, Nix had walked in without me noticing, and slammed his books on his desk, creating the noise. He looked extremely angry, and I quickly ran over the reason why. Was he still mad at me for yesterday? Did someone tell him about me? What was going to happen?

I expected Nix to turn towards me, but instead, he walked right past me and towards the group of once laughing kids- now they were all watching in fear.

"It has been one day," he said when he was right in front of them with a voice that was not yelling, but was loud enough to be heard by everyone. On cue, the whole class froze and went silent, watching Nix. "It has been one fucking day and you're already kicking him around? Do you have nothing better to do than to sit on your asses and make fun of people? All he did was puke, or are you going to tell me you've never done that?"

"But he-" one guy out of the group started to say, but Nix cut him off.

"I don't give a shit what happened a long time ago. You should be more worried about me, because if I hear that name come out of your mouth one more fucking time, I will beat the living shit out of you. Got it?" The guy nodded quickly, and Nix turned back to me while walking towards his seat.

"And you stand up for yourself. Were you just going to take that from them?" he asked me furiously.

"I, um…" I tried to say, but the words didn't come. Nix rolled his eyes and sat down in his seat, turning his back towards me.

"You're skipping your next class with me," he demanded, and before I could refuse he said, "Just shut the fuck up and do what you're told."

Despite the harshness of words, I found myself smiling. In my head, I couldn't imagine a time that Nix would ever say 'I'll protect you' or 'It'll be okay'. His voice sounded angry and annoyed, but I couldn't think of a nicer way for him to say it. My thoughts were then consumed by one thought: Nix is being nice to me.

Class passed by quickly and dully, but as time went on, a weird feeling settled in my stomach. I have never skipped class before- what usually happened to people who skipped class? By the way that Nix said it I knew he was comfortable with it, but maybe that was because his parents didn't care about his grades as long as he passed. My parents weren't like that though; if I didn't get an A or B, I was in big trouble. Could I really get out of this though? Nix was demanding that I went.

When the bell rang, I was unprepared. I was going to tell Nix no, I wasn't going to go, but when I looked up he was already standing, grinning down at me. How was I supposed to say no now?

While sighing inwardly, I grab my things and follow him out the door. In front of me, Nix is still grinning and I have a sudden fear of not knowing what's going to happen next. Where was he taking me anyways? Would he be angry if I asked him?

I expected Nix to take me out of the building, but he surprised me by going up stairs instead. He led me down hallways that were unfamiliar to me, but thankfully they weren't crowded. Whenever I was stressed or nervous, my fear seemed to become worse, and I found myself hiding directly behind Nix, using him as a shield against being touched.

After a few moments, Nix looked back to see if I was still following. "What are you doing?" he asked, looking at me oddly.

"N-nothing," I answered quickly, and ducted my head down so he couldn't see that my face was red. This was embarrassing; I was behaving like a child. Nix, however, was okay with my reaction, and kept walking,

He finally stopped when we got to a door that read 'Roof Access- NO STUDENTS'. Nix opened the door and walked in, ignoring the sign as if he couldn't read it. I however, hesitantly stayed in the doorway, wondering if it was really a good idea to follow. Nix turned again and caught me stalling.

"We're not going to get caught, I practically do this every day," he told me, rolling his eyes. "Come on."

I chewed on my bottom lip nervously, but eventually followed him up the stairs. Is this what my parents warned me about when they told me about peer pressure? Or was it, 'choose your friends wisely'? Either way, I'm out of luck.

When we got to the top, Nix opened another door, and sunlight came busting in. I shielded my eyes for a moment, and carefully walked out onto the roof. Surprising, we weren't the only ones up here; four others were here too. They looked like the same people Nix sat with at lunch.

"Hey, you finally made it," one of them said to me, and Nix quickly introduced him as Rylee. "And you brought a friend."

"Touch him, and you die," Nix said seriously, but Rylee just laughed. Nix introduced me to them, and introduced the others as Wade, Liam, and Rory.

Suddenly, we heard a bell ring, and others started to stand up. "Well, we're actually going to class," Wade said, "but I'm guessing since you just got here, you'll be staying for a while?"

Nix nodded and they all said good bye to him with promises of seeing him later on. As they left they waved at me, and I smiled and waved back. When I turned back around, Nix was sitting down against the railing, and pulling out a box of cigarettes. I sat down beside him and watched.

"Will this bother you?" he asked when he noticed me watching. I shook my head 'no' but he put them up. "I need to quit anyways."

"Your friends are nice," I said to start conversation. Nix just smirked so I added, "What do you guys do up here?"

"Talk," Nix answered plainly.

"Oh, is there something you wanted to talk about then?" I asked. I wondered what it could be.

Nix nodded, and stared out in front of him as he talked. "Well, I wanted to say sorry, about yesterday. I thought you were afraid of me; I didn't know about your fear of touching thing."

I looked at him for a moment, shocked that he knew. "Who told you that?"

Nix explained that it was Arian who told him, and agreed silently. Arian was never able to keep a secret so I wasn't surprised. I wasn't angry either, though, it's not like it really was a secret. "It seems like you know more about me, than I know about you," I remarked.

Nix laughed without humor. "There's nothing to know."

I thought for a moment. "You know what I'm afraid of." It wasn't really a question, but it was implied. I wanted to know what he was afraid of.

There was a small silence as Nix thought about his answer, and when he finally spoke, I was surprised. "I guess I'm afraid of people leaving."

"Leaving?" I asked. "Leaving how?"

Nix shrugged. "Leaving as in… abandoning. Going away and never coming back." He thought for a moment and then added. "It's hard to explain, but Arian said when you thought of people touching you, it brought back memories and made you feel a certain way?"

I nodded. "It makes me feel disgusted."

"Right," Nix continued. "So you avoid touching other people to avoid the feeling, and somehow, it just turns into fear."

I thought about it, and made sense. I was afraid of the feeling, so I was afraid of touching others. "Did someone leave you?"

Nix shrugged again. "My dad, but it was a long time ago. It doesn't bother me as much now as it did then."

There was the memory. "So, is the tough guy act how you avoid the feeling?" I guessed, and Nix laughed.

"An act, huh?" he said, laughing some more. "No, I think that comes naturally."

I laughed a little too, and then asked, "How do you avoid the feeling then?"

"I guess I just don't get close to people." He said this without thinking for too long.

"You're close to me now," I answered, looking down at the small space between us where we were sitting.

Nix smiled. "Yes, we're close, but not touching."