Finding G.O.D.

This story begins in a hospital room where a woman is screaming, "Get this little shit outta me!" No, she's not constipated, this is my 'mother', Trisha Flores. She had a one night stand with some rando in the bar. The only reason she went through with the pregnancy was because the paid vacation from her office job. After some hee hee hoo's and various profanities later, the nurse giver her the child.

"Congratulations ma'am it's a baby boy!" Which was followed by a unexcited, "Yah yah I can hear you, now I heard something about complimentary meals during the overnight stay?"The nurse tried her best to keep her professional smile, "Yes... I'll ask them to bring it right away.."

A mediocre hospital meal and a night's rest later

"What am I even supposed to do with this money sucking thing?" After having sneaked out of the hospital to avoid her nemesis, paperwork. She made a stop at the Home Depot to pick up an enticing box. Next was Bed, Bath & Beyond; where she grabbed a decent looking blanket and small pillow from the clearance section. In her car she put together a good ol' box shelter. After she took a look at the time, "Hey Seari set directions to an orphanage in the part of town no one cares about." "Ok you will arrive at your destination at 11pm." A female voice responds. You could swear you almost heard some disappointment in the voice.

Now you may be wondering, how the hell has this baby not made a peep? Is he secretly a 30 year old otaku inside a baby? No, Trisha had fed, the baby she hadn't even bothered naming, enough milk to pass out. This happening after having escaped the hospital, definitely not winning the best mom of the year award.

After having dropped the baby at the porch of the orphanage, that was also a church, in the bad side of town. She dipped, not before leaving a letter saying,

"Dear Church,

As a devout believer and follower of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. I believed it was my calling from above to drop my baby off to serve the Lord. What better way than to leave him in the care in one of his houses?

Amen, God Bless, Love and Peace"

Some time later a decrepit old nun swung the church door open to go have a smoke. Unfortunately our MC baby was right there to be carried by the laws of physics and shoot toward the sidewalk. Luckily his sturdy Home Depot box kept him from getting into an unfortunate accident at 2 days old.

"God Dammit! Another damn orphan dropped off at our doorstep, it's 2015! People need to go to real orphanages!"

What followed were cries of a baby who had nearly gone racing into the streets and the curses of a 'devout' nun.

So he grew up in the church and he finally got a name, 'Gil'.

At the Age of 5 when he could communicate and do menial tasks. began his life as a choirboy and after church classes.

In the end he never found G.rand O.mnipotent D.iety, turns out the old nun was a religious cynic and instead found G.ates O.nto D.issapointment.

His mom however, found G.old, O.il, D.rugs after having crashed her car into a mafia's stash house. She then left for Cuba where she lived with her newfound wealth. Yea life isn't too fair.