Chapter 15: Temporary Luxury Called Love

Love is such an abundant word. It's because it's infinite and limitless as long as you allow it to be. You can give and receive it all the time as long as you allow it. We can be in love with our family, with friends, with our lover, with nature, and with anything we want to be in love with.

It's a luxury anyone can enjoy at any time and at any place. But for someone like me, who grew up in order to kill someone, who was raised in anguish and vengeful thoughts, someone who was fed by my own blood, sweat, and tears, it's a luxury I can only enjoy for a short time. Especially that the subject of that luxury is someone I can't and shouldn't have loved in the first place.

That luxury you all enjoy easily. That luxury you always take for granted. For me, it's just a temporary luxury. And it's called love.

--

I was having breakfast when I received a call from Captain Mauro.

That's odd...

I was told that no one is allowed to call me and vice versa if it isn't really very necessary. Because the captain is calling me, this got to be important.

"Paul.."

That code name. It signifies that I'm about to receive a mission. But why though? I was told I won't participate anymore on team missions until Mirando's anniversary.

"Yes, Captain!"

"You've got a mission."

As part of team one, no matter the situation, we are obligated and bound to receive our mission, willingly or not.

"I am ready, Captain."

"We got an informant. The informant has very crucial evidence that will help us prevent the Grunas from taking over the throne after the king's death."

"I thought if Mirando is dead, the people will decide?" I claimed.

"We need to be sure of everything. It's better to be ready. The informant said that the evidence will help convince the public to completely establish a republic and abandon the monarchy government."

The Chief has a lot of influence over the public's opinion. But still, we should not forget that there is the Battalion working against us. They will do everything, spread false good rumors, and even validate them to win the public's sympathy. And we know how easy it is to sway the public's opinion. The Captain is right. We need to be sure.

"How reliable is this informant?"

"The Commander vouched for it."

If the Commander vouches for it, then it must be real and significantly crucial.

"The file will be transported by a black courier at Prego Train Station, platform 3 at 6 pm today. Just take the file and we'll come to get it from you."

A black courier just basically refers to couriers hired for illegal, forbidden deliveries and those that are supposed to be not known to anyone.

Prego station, platform 3. Noted.

"Captain, can I ask one question?"

"What is it, Paul?"

"Why am I given this mission? Anyone can do it. And besides, I'm not supposed to be on a mission anymore."

"The informant asked specifically for President Alejandro's daughter."

For me? Is the informant someone my father knew?

"It has to be you."

The Captain briefed me shortly with all the necessary information. What I should wear for the courier to recognize me. And what the courier will wear, so that I can recognize the courier.

"Gan will assist you."

"Alright."

At ten o'clock in the morning, Isagani arrived at the compound. I requested a helper to take him to my apartment. When Isagani came inside my apartment, he was in awe just like how I was on the first day.

"I know this is all for the mission, but I'm envious. This is unfair. Can I live here too?"

I lightly punched his arm. "No, moron! The prince will not like it if he sees you here."

He eyed me seriously. "I could just hide when he's here. Can't I do that?"

"You wanna do that?" I asked playfully and snickered.

"Yeah, if that's the only way I can see you."

I stilled on where I was standing. I stared at Isagani in confusion.

"It's not real, right? You and the prince." He sounded hopeful and hurt at the same time.

Does he-- like me?

No way, right? Maybe I'm just reading too much into his words.

"Forget about the mission and tell me the raw truth. You don't possibly like him, do you?"

I honestly do not know how to answer him. One, because I really don't know the answer. Do I like the prince? Or am I just attached to the idea that he's making me feel all sorts of things? And two, if I admit to that, it means I'm in trouble.

I laughed awkwardly. "What are you talking about? Why would I like him? He's Mirando's son." Even I was not convinced of that. I keep on overlooking the fact that he is a Gruna.

I kind of jerked when he suddenly put both of his hands on each of my shoulders and leaned his face a little closer to mine. I've known him for so long. I've been with him for so long. And this is the first time he touched me like this.

Of course, there is this kind of stare he always gives me. And for a long time, those stares made me almost believe he had a crush on me too. But of course, I learned I was being delusional. I've forgotten my feelings for him long enough to make me forget how it feels to have butterflies in the stomach when he touches me.

Our interactions have always been like that of a teammate and a friend. Now that he's looking at me with an intense gaze, I don't know what to feel.

"You can't like him, Rath. You just can't. Do not forget how much you suffered and how hard you worked for this final mission. Love isn't a luxury you can enjoy right now. Especially with the prince."

I don't know how and why, but there is this epiphany that started to hit me. The realization that maybe I really do like Neuron and that I am stuck in this f--ked up situation hit me like an explosion. I started crying.

"What am I gonna do?" I said in between a muffled cry.

Isagani pulled me into an embrace and he caressed my back with his hand to calm me down.

"Can't I enjoy that temporary luxury? Just until the anniversary. Can't I do that?" I sounded like I was begging while saying that to Isagani. He tightened his embrace.

"After that temporary luxury, can you please come to me?" I answered him with just a sob. "Come to me, Rath. After all of this ends, I'll take care of you."

--

It's noon and I left Isagani alone in my apartment. While he was begging me to come to him, I am here standing in front of Neuron's apartment.

But he isn't here. And when I called him, he immediately said he would come home for me. After how many minutes, I could see him running towards me. His hair is slightly messy and his necktie is a little bit loose.

He was breathing hard when he arrived in front of me. He is crouching down holding his knees for support while catching his breath so loudly.

"Why did you run?" I scolded out of my concern and caressed his back to help him cool down.

"The elevator broke down on the 80th floor. So I used the stairs instead. I don't wanna make you wait."

"You shouldn't have rushed here. I can wait, Neuron."

He stood up straight. "How could I not? When you're waiting for me here."

Sweats are dripping off of his forehead. He loosened his tie a bit more and unbuttoned two of his upper shirt buttons. Maybe because of the heat from all the running he did.

I stared at him. Seeing him sweating from running to come to me, it's...

Heart fluttering.

If love is just a temporary luxury...

"Then I'm gonna come at it at full speed."

"What?" He confusedly asked because I just suddenly blurted that out.

"I said I'm gonna lavish this temporary happiness."

I grabbed his tie which made him bend his face down to me and then I kissed him.

Neuron did a really great job of making me come out of my reservations. I can't believe I'm getting turned on just because he was sweating from running trying to come to me as fast as he could.

His mouth moved in sync with mine. What I imagined to be a lovely kiss turned into something intense, passionate, and erotic. His hands are roaming around every part of my body. I started unbuttoning his shirt. And as I did that, he started leading me towards the door without breaking the kiss. He opened the door, and when we were inside the apartment I already unbuttoned his shirt completely. I took off his coat, then his tie, and then his shirt next.

We were both breathless when he broke the kiss and rested his forehead on mine. He traced his thumb on my lower lip. "Ask me to slow down," he whispered. "Tell me to stop. If you don't, I won't be able to stop myself."

Instead of answering him, I roamed my hands on his broad chest and his well-packed abs. "I want you, Neuron."

I decided to just get lost on him for a month. And then end it right after that.