Rejection and Start

Days passed by quickly.

I had trained myself until the wraith's essence had become part of myself.

Like blood that flows in my body. The essence of the wraith became part of myself.

My strength was enough to protect myself from danger.

All I needed is control over my abilities.

I was in my library doing the rudimentary reading.

It came to me that I still remember how most of my education.

Nonetheless, I had to be enrolled in this academy to prove my worth.

To do that I had injected a crystal with my prana.

It was a device that could be used to test one's level of prana.

I had emptied mine and had it transported to the academy.

I was right in the right age to attend this academy. A bit older than the usual student but I was looking for the means to control the overwhelming prana.

I already knew the basics of weaving magic. The words of power that must be changed. I cannot omit the words of power like Carwyn. She was a sorceress who has been trained to do that. She was a genius in that regard.

Carwyn was a person who troubles me.

I do not intend to bother her. But I do wish to see my daughter.

But that isn't possible. I could not stand in front of my daughter.

I cannot speak words that would comfort her.

I already know that I was not a person who was worthy to be called her father.

One day she would know of what I had done to her mother.

The future has changed because of my recent actions.

A ripple in the pond is still a ripple. It could overturn a leaf gently floating above the surface. The leaf could be submerged and such ripple could drive the fish away or the creatures hiding below.

I had transformed into the size and form of a normal being. I was no longer the bloated mess of a creature that I was before. However, it doesn't mean that I had suddenly changed my ways thoroughly.

It had only been a few days. Habits die hard and they can become fierce when meeting resistance.

Though he had secluded himself from the household. Angie was the one who served him without question. Micah was governing the Archduchy in my stead. Angie was serving me and at the same time managing the household. She was the head maid and a 'mistress' of mine.

Nobles are fond of having mistresses and I do not believe in Celestia who determined that one could marry only one and never falter on their love for her single one. I believe in Jove who demands that love is free. Of course, it was also a religion that allowed many wives and mistresses. My brothers came from my mother's and I only have one father.

Angie was my woman. Her subordinate maids were mine as well.

I am blue-blooded. My values are different from the common man. I was taught to be dignified and uphold the values of my family. I had dragged those values because of lust and self-ruining thoughts. It was only when I was faced with my death and the face of a daughter who had treated her father differently that a fire was set ablaze.

I was not delusional enough that a change of form would make me suddenly a better man. I have changed my exterior form but my interior was still rotten. I do not have the confidence to say that I have changed. Even Micah, despite his belief, seems to think that I awakened.

It could be a whim.

My heart told me it was not. But I don't trust my heart.

I trusted the wraith who had helped me to get the next time.

A second chance was something that only a few might have.

I understand that this was all because I was in the right place and at the right time. I have the body, the blood, and the tool to perform what the wraith wanted.

I was not chosen because of some chance.

Nor was it destined by fate.

I was chosen because I had the right conditions.

I was being used by a wraith. My mind had already joined with his essence.

His thoughts and values polluted my mind.

I was being controlled clearly. I was not a dense fool who thought he could get something free from a being that was said to crave for existence. The thoughts he had will become mine. My thoughts will become his. I don't mind. The old self that had made a mess of things needed to die.

I won't be myself.

The essence of the wraith will soon become me and he will become me.

We were using one another to try a second chance in life.

To lose myself was the price of this chance.

The wraith craved for another chance to live and try again.

I crave the chance to redeem myself through action and repentance.

That's I took the name of Kiran Irvin.

The name of the self that I would walk the path on.

In this Archduchy, I would be called my old name. That was unavoidable because even though I want to hand over the burden of rule. I could not let go of it. I can let Micah handle the land in my stead, but there will be a day where I must attend it myself.

It won't be long until conflict appears.

I still remember those awful and heart-crushing days where I stood in council alongside the Emperor. I was in-display like some sort of exotic beast. None had wanted my opinion. Why would they want someone who did not even have the self-respect to take care of himself?

Anyway, I had informed Angie about my thoughts. I know that she had devoted herself to me. Even at my death, she had let herself die alongside me. I owe her enough to repay that loyalty.

"Do you have any wish?"

She looked at me calmly. "I do not have anything. I wish to serve my master."

I didn't want to argue about her choices. She was firm about it and there was no way she'd argue about choices. But I am a person who would grant the reward. I know what it's like for efforts to be unrewarded.

"Angie," I fondled the paper that I was holding. "As of today, you are a court lady of my docile. You are hereby called Lady Angelica Bluefield."

She stood for a moment. "Sir?"

"You…have the necessary talents. When I purchase you, I was told that you owned the name of Bluefield. But circumstance strip you of that title. I am merely returning what was always meant for you. You shall be my left hand, my mouth, and my ears. Your backhand, Angie."

I demanded her. I summoned the sacred power left by the sacred sword and marked her with the emblem of the Ortiz House. There were many thoughts in her head probably. What was happening? What did I mean by giving her this honor? She looked dumbfounded.

"Why?"

Kindness is suspicious when coming from nobles.

Every gift had a price. That was what they were taught.

She would not believe me if I said it was all for what I have done.

She might have former noble blood. But she was beneath me in class.

"Don't make me repeat myself. I offered this kindness because I wanted to. You are mine. Do not forget that. What you have can be taken and I can give what I can take. Do you understand me, Angie?"

Her eyes brightened. She was subservient but smart enough to understand what I was trying to do. Do not ask questions. Just accept my offer like it was nothing. I had given her trust as my assistant. She understood what it means to become my court lady.

She approached me and kneeled in front of me.

"Angie offers her loyalty once again."

"Stand up."

She stood up obediently.

She used to tell me that she was supposed to become a plaything for someone lesser than me. She chooses me because I had a higher rank and if she was good enough in her services, she would be able to rise rank. She was the type to choose which side she was on and stay there until the end. Her mind was strange. Even when I lost everything to my vassals and my enemies. She still tried to serve me until she lost her life alongside Micah.

An image flashed before me. Her face had a deep cut in the middle of her face. She lost her left arm and there was a large cut in her belly. She hung from the neck while rocks were thrown at her. She swayed from left to right when the wind blows or when a stone was thrown.

I reached out my hand. I caressed the side of her face and traced my finger on her cheek.

I patted her head.

If there is come a day where she wants to leave. I would let her.

She deserves more than this. I would have made her Baroness if I could.

Just that it would bring her more trouble and shame if I do so.

She waited patiently. She presented her lips and placed her hands on her thighs. There was no discomfort in her face and it was different when I did it when I still had those stubby hands. That reminds me that she was my first and had been the longest woman who had been with me.

"It has been years since you're with me. Don't mind me rewarding you from now and then. Think of this as my generous reward after my transformation to this form. I hope you don't mind."

She smiled teasingly. "My master, I don't have to worry about being buried when we sleep."

"Silly girl," I said.

I let her do as she pleased while I studied.

It was then that another maid appeared within the study.

Roze was Angie's second-in-command and I suspect that they have some form of band.

It came to me that most of the maids were fallen nobles who had been purchased by me before they fell on someone's hands. Seeing Roze's calm face made me realize how it did make it easy to see a normal human form. If this was before my transformation. She would have been worried about my demands for the day. I promoted Roze and thankfully she accepted the promotion much easily than Angie.

Roze brought me a letter.

There was the seal of the academy.

I plucked the seal and opened the letter.

My mind froze for a moment.

I inhaled and exhaled at the words written inside the letter.

My prana was accepted and I was ranked with the proper courtesy. But as I read the contents of letters there was a stern warning written in confidence and arrogance that I was needed to be tested.

My name was a shame.

They think of me as a failure and a shame to my family.

I had already told them of my new name.

But they would not believe it without proof of action.

They would not accept Hadeon Ortiz for his vile history and for the academy to associate with a lowly individual was beneath them. They had the right to say that considering that they do not lack authority and power.

But they are willing to test Kiran Irvin a second chance.

I found myself stiffly smiling. I was rejected and accepted at the same time.

The rejecting stung, no doubt. But I had already decided that I would be Kiran Irvin. I cannot throw away the name Hadeon Ortiz because of my family, but to give the wraith the 'second chance' that he wanted. I need to live two lives.