Rehabilitation

Every atom of Von's body favored the daze he was in. Every fiber of his being, from molecules to hair, was in a sweet paralysis that had him stunned. A few memories came into his mind, and the only thing he could think of was how what they called fate could surprise.

"The beams of light were hindering Von's vision. Nightfall would have left the room in complete darkness, if not for the flashlight moving quickly up and down. And even though everything was black, Von could see behind those shadows. He could see the heterochromatic irises with an amused, almost paranoid glow. The brown right and the blue left fascinated Von because it was so unfamiliar, because it was so mysterious. The owner of that piercing gaze was both naive and crazy, and Von loved to dive into the void."

Coming out of his reverie, Von turned his attention to Sophie. The few seconds she stood in one place, he realized three things. The first: He had never seen Sophie so angry. The green of her eyes was a color mixed with gray. Her white teeth were clenched so tightly that Von felt a shiver run down the back of his neck. In fact, she didn't know Blair Rudra, but the torture of a child was not something that made Sophie happy. And that went to the second thing: She should hate torturers and abusers. She should feel that anger rising like a needle piercing her skin until it boils her blood thunderously. She should feel like cutting the abuser's organs out piece by piece. And as a consequence, the third thing : She would hate him if she knew about his past.

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"- Have you ever stopped to think about how we met? - The girl smiled weakly as she ran her hands through Von's brown hair. - Have you ever stopped to think how despicable you can be, Von? That everything, everything you have always sought, and will always seek, will only be your condemnation to a future where there will only be death? Fate has made its path in blood, Von. And in it there will only be pain, suffering, and all those you love will leave. They will leave you as if you were nothing, but one thing is for sure, they will never love you as I loved you! But now... you are doomed to loneliness. - With that last word, she looked one last time at Von and closed her eyes forever. "

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Von had been toxic in a past relationship. He had cornered a girl against a dark alley. That was nothing new for a killer, but what was new was what came after the assault. She, the girl, had enjoyed it. She, with all the innocence of the world she did not have, had grabbed him and kissed his lips, as if thirsty for touch. In the months they had been together, Von had proven that Lucy had an obsession with him. It was never right to be with someone who had mugged, let alone a young woman as troubled as Lucy. What went from assault to sex raised their level. Lucy was like a wilted flower among so many other flowers full of life. Tobacco without nicotine Lucy was a wreck on his chest. The sick love she had for Von was something quite suffocating. And love was the only word Von knew Lucy had for him. She had created such an extreme submissive reaction to him that all she had to do was breathe the air for him. He felt so suffocated that after killing her entire family, Von killed her with a squeeze in his heart, like someone who sacrifices a puppy. But before that, he had crossed the boundary of desire and passion. And he had taken advantage of her psychic and physical weakness. He knew his power over her, and he used her until he was tired.

Lucy was a very thin teenager. She looked like a child, so small and so without curves. Her skin was of a white that sometimes disgusted him, a white almost as gray. Her eyes were peculiar, and Von always thought that was the reason for her difference: heterochromatic irises, one brown and one blue. Her straight black hair, as black as night, had a scent of dead flowers. Lucy was, no doubt, a troubled girl. She was the same age as he was - seventeen at the time, and looked thirteen. She held him in a way he could not escape. And Von felt, inside, that he needed Lucy in a way that came as a surprise to himself. The fights and the thought of losing her made him start drinking. Drinking heavily, as if the only reason to be happy was there. Not that Von thought about happiness, but he felt light being next to the little girl. But in a few months, the weight on his shoulders became greater and greater, and Von resorted to the razor's edge.

And now, standing there as he watched Sophie lose control, Von felt like changing his past. He was ashamed of himself, of that destructive personality that he was. It didn't matter if Sophie was sadistic, one thing was different from the other. She would hate him with all her might, if she didn't kill him. And Von saw, hidden there among his entrails, that he was again crossing the boundary of desire and passion. He martyred himself in thought, but all he did was watch Sophie walk over to Agmundr and pin him against the wall, pressing her hand against his throat.

- Bastard! - She gritted her teeth and drove the dagger into his shoulder as she almost exploded with rage.

But something totally new appeared in the room. And Von felt as much hatred and disgust as he felt for himself. A large man carrying a flag in his hands and coming through the fallen door on the floor, as if he were the savior of the nation. After they could see his face, Sophie didn't know who to attack first. She was torn between attacking Agmundr or attacking the one who would defeat her, Lance Asten.

- Sophie Chasseur, take your hands off this man.- Lance said in a tone of authority and Sophie looked at him with all her anger, without removing the dagger that was nailing Agmundr to the rock wall.

Von stood in a defensive pose in front of Sophie so as not to let that man hurt her any more, or even prevent her from doing anything. He looked quickly at the bed behind him and saw the girl called Blair by everyone. Her eyes no longer had the brightness of her previous tears, but a hopeful glow, as if salvation was on the way.

- Why should I take my hands off this man, Lance Asten? - She answered Lance with an impassive tone, as if he were hesitating to move a piece in a chess game.

- Someone sent me a letter asking for help against this Lord. - He laughed and pulled a clearly written piece of paper from his pocket. - He is now the property of the Kingdom of Dendalion and he will stand trial.-

- By what right do you have to come to Crebeci and arrest a man, whom you call a lord, and take him into custody?-

- The letter was very clear when it said that it needed help. It was this girl who sent it, Miss Chasseur. - At the end of his sentence, Von ran up behind Lance and stabbed the dagger lightly into his hands, in full anger.

- How do you know she ordered it? She's only ten years old and can't write.- Von whispered in Lance's ear, and Sophie took advantage of the Dendalian's moment of distraction to pull the dagger from Agmundr's shoulder and pierce his heart.

- Sophie...! - Lance gritted his teeth and detached himself from Von, advancing towards Sophie. - How dare you kill a man whose justice I will bring to justice!-

- How dare you defend a child torturer? - She said, standing up and taking out her dagger, putting herself in defensive mode. - Your sense of justice is nothing but pure hypocrisy, Lance Asten. Blood is solved with blood. -

- You Cerminians are so animalistic! You act as if the edge of your sword is everything. As if your blade gives you power. Violence is not everything! - Lance made his speech while Sophie laughed shamelessly.

- Are we Cerminians animalistic? - Her laughter echoed throughout the room. - Animalistic, Lance Asten? - She said, lightly touching the blade to Lance's neck. - Tell me how much it hurts to wear that mask of yours. Tell me how you recontort yourself during the nights just for blood. Tell me that violence doesn't solve everything! Tell me that if I don't put my dagger through your heart, your sense of justice will tell you that I spared your life. Say that everything will be solved with masks, like the ones you wear, trying to hide your animalistic side. Better animals than molded. -

Perhaps the discussion would have gone on longer if Von hadn't removed the ether and put it on the cloth soon after to make Blair faint, Sophie had emerged victorious from this battle. And it wasn't just because of the connection she was having with Von the whole time, but also because of the strength of her words. Violence really hadn't worked in that case this time, but Sophie had loved killing Agmundr. And she just couldn't kill Lance because she knew that behind the house there were a few more of his soldiers, not to mention the tribe's guards. Von took Blair on his lap and walked off, leaving an angry Lance behind.

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Dunny's steps were as slow as people walking. No doubt the horse was tired and Sophie could do nothing about it. Von was in charge, Blair was behind him, and Sophie was trying to hide her with her overcoat. She couldn't believe that this poor girl was being abused all this time by a man she couldn't defend herself against. And after thinking, she realized that the only salvation she dreamed of having was Dendalion. And not Cermina. Sophie wondered how Blair Rudra should imagine the Cerminians. But one thing was certain, whether she liked it or not, they were going there.

After a while, Von managed to put his thoughts into words and worked up the courage to talk to Sophie about Lucy. He didn't know why, but he wanted to make it clear to Sophie that he was not a monster. But he was a monster, he had abused someone who was vulnerable. And for the first time Von was afraid of what Sophie would think of him. He was afraid that she would never look him in the face, but if she didn't, he would have one less problem to solve, even though he would be heartbroken. That was because that urge of his to run away from Sophie had not completely gone away. It had diminished drastically, but she was still there, tucked away in her box.

- Sophie. - The tone of his voice was so cutting and at the same moment Sophie realized that something was wrong.

- Yes? - She answered him as she watched Blair's white fingers, warming the small hand with her own.

- I already told you about the first time I killed someone. - He swallowed dryly and was thankful that he couldn't look into her eyes.

- The night Sam arrived at the mansion.- she added, trying to understand what he was getting at and trying to contain the uncontrollable pounding in her chest.

- I want to be honest. - Von gripped the reins tighter. Sophie listened attentively, wondering what was coming next. - I've already abused someone. -

The words blended in with the snow, while the wind brought and took away the silence. It went on like this for hours, and Von realized that maybe he had made the biggest mistake of his life. Only there was no way to change his past. It was a truth as simple as breathing. He had abused someone. He had later fallen in love with that someone. And he felt the need to tell Sophie that no, he was not a monster. That she had become his girlfriend, that she had fallen in love with him afterwards. But that wouldn't change that he had indirectly manipulated by violence someone into something that was not in that person's routine. And not his.

But Sophie knew. That was the point where their ideas diverged. Sophie had always known everything Von had done. She knew everything through her fondness for wanting her father's subordinate to be even better than she was. She was the one who sent the soldiers to try to kill him. She was the one behind the research done to find out who Von was. Von, unbeknownst to her, had become her hobby in her spare time. Researching his life, having him killed, following him, and being in some places was nothing but pure fun. But that statement had not only surprised her in two ways, it also made her more and more melted for him. She knew that Von had been abusive to someone in the past, it was something very noticeable just from his personality. But what surprised her most was that he had told her. He had even said that he wanted to be honest! It inflamed her heart in a way she couldn't escape, in a way she couldn't deny that it wasn't just attraction.

- Tell me.- She said after a few hours in a timid voice, wanting to know why, being curious to know what goes on in the mind of a corrupted man.

- A man in the underground had an overwhelming fortune. Although I am alone, I had companions, Sohan is perhaps the darkest part of this thing I call life. - He laughed to lighten his misfortune. - But, it's not about Sohan that. The point is. Sohan got a job. Gregory Zanick was a man we needed to exterminate from underground, but by taking his money. And when I found him in an alley, he was accompanied by his daughter. The plan was to kill him there, without witnesses, but she was there. And since she had seen me, all I did was make her faint. But I didn't know what to do with his daughter. I... I took her by the hair and kissed her. Her face was so lovely that she looked like a doll. But, that was just the beginning.-

- It didn't stop there? - She said not in a judging voice, but in a voice that was even kind.

- She matched me.- Von swallowed dryly. - Her name was Lucy, and she ended up falling in love with me, as if she was thirsty for male touches. Later I found out that she had a sick love for me. -

-And you loved her? - This came out of Sophie's mouth like a whisper, scraping her throat with a pain that had not existed until that moment. Sophie wanted Lucy to be unrequited, wanted Von to desire only her. Whether it was in the past or not.

- In a way. But, she suffocated me. And that resulted in Sohan and I putting an end to her family, of course after I had gained everyone's trust. Lucy was the youngest of four siblings and the only woman. I spent six months in a company that I thought was nice, but was suffocating. I can say that it was the only long relationship I ever had with a woman.-

-Hm... - She murmured, trying not to show her disappointment. After she managed to control her tone of voice, she continued. -And that's where it stopped?

- I killed her too.- he said, and then sighed. - I killed her with a cut on her neck. But I just couldn't take it anymore. And I wouldn't jeopardize the chance of losing good money over passion.-

- Was it just passion? Didn't you love her? - The sound of Sophie's voice sent chills through Von's body. If he could, he would stop the horse and say that there was no reason for that voice, because Lucy was dead. But, he would not say because he knew that Sophie would never assume the position of needy for him, as Lucy had done.

- I have never loved anyone, Sophie. - His tone was so impassive that Sophie could do nothing but remain silent for a few minutes.

- Did you kill her as if you were sacrificing a puppy? - she said at last, breaking the silence.

- I always use that same term. - He laughed and turned to look at her. His green pupils reflected a tenderness that had never been seen in his brown eyes.

- You are full of surprises, Von.- she smiled, and Von could see. He felt himself being hugged from behind and felt relieved as he hadn't felt in a long time. He smiled too, but didn't let Sophie see. He didn't want to give her the taste of knowing that she too was already in his heart.

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"Didn't I tell you? You are doomed to be lonely, you will only end up in ruins. You know that deep down the tide will always be against you."

Von opened his eyes and lifted his head, reframing his memory. He found himself on top of the horse, leaning against the back of Sophie who was controlling Dunny. Blair was in front with her, and her blue eyes were open. Von remembered the words echoing in his mind in that voice he knew so well. He looked up at the sky and saw the snowflakes falling softly from the sky. His melancholy was as soft as the lightness of those small flakes. They were getting close to Cermina and the snow was beginning to fall. The road was almost obliterated by the flakes, but still Sophie didn't seem to mind the road.

- Are you awake? - She said without looking at him. - We're almost there, I want you awake.- Von scratched his eye and ignored the words echoing in his mind. - Did you see who's awake? - She turned to Blair. - His name is Von, he works for my father. -

- Hi, Von. - Blair said in a soft, gentle voice. A smile almost broke out on Von's lips, if he hadn't known that this girl had been tortured for a long time.

- Hello. - I said in a purposeful bitter tone, not wanting to make a good impression on the girl.

- He's really quite rude, don't mind him. - Sophie said in an amused tone as she looked at Von.

- It's only your eyes that see this, Sophie. - He said, breaking the ice, and making Blair smile, showing his smile without a tooth in the corner. Von laughed and realized that at last she was just a child. - Aren't you ashamed to smile when you have no teeth?

- Von! - Sophie reproved him.

- What? I would be ashamed. -

- I'm not embarrassed. It's a normal thing. - Blair said as he crossed his arms, joining in the fun.

- How do you know it's normal? - Von frowned, pretending not to understand.

- To Gina told me it was normal. - She said almost in a whiny voice, as if she was suspicious of Gina, being who she was.

- Gina? - Sophie asked her.

- She was Agmundr's maid. She used to bring me food and read some of Dendalion's stories. She was the one who wrote the letter asking for help. - Blair raised her head and looked at Sophie, answering her as if she were her master. And Von didn't let this go unnoticed.

- Did she know what he was doing to you?- Sophie's voice was extremely well planned, as if she were balancing her words to keep the hurt from coming out.

- Yes... - Blair's gaze was lost as she said this. Sophie took one of Blair's hands and held it.

- Your hands are cold. - Sophie spoke almost in a whisper and was trying to warm Blair's hands with her own.

Von observed how hard Sophie was trying to like this bastard girl. He admired how sweetly she was treating her, and what was not at all expected, since Sophie had refused to save the girl. She was definitely showing some humanity, and Von could tell Sophie was struggling to earn a place in his heart even without knowing it.

In one swift movement, he hugged her, wrapping his arms around her waist. Squeezing her tightly, leaning his face against her shoulder. Sophie turned her face to see him, and was surprised when his lips touched her cheek. Cold and wet, just like all the thoughts she had of Von. Desire burned in her gut, and made her shiver. Von's lips still touched her cheek gently. Sophie moved her face, bringing his lips down to her neck. Von opened his mouth and Sophie could feel the wet touch of his tongue along the length of the most sensitive part of her body. When the green and brown met, Von heard her moan in his mind. That soft, not at all grotesque moan. A woman's moan.

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When they got close to the mansion, Von was still clinging to Sophie. And he wouldn't let go of that embrace until she wanted him to. Time and again he could smell her perfume in the air. A sweet fragrance that dissipated through the snowflakes and came to meet him. He had kept his hands around her until Norgard had told him to get down, marking a territory he didn't need to mark. When the general saw Blair Rudra, he had prepared his speech so that the girl would understand why she was starting to live in Cermina. Not that he planned to be a father at that age, but he had made an effort to at least give affection to the little child in front of him.

- Hello Blair, my name is Norgard. - The general said as he knelt down and stood at the height of Blair's knees.

-Hi, Norgard. - She said shyly.

- I know what I'm about to tell you is strange, but... I'm your father. - He got right to the point as he had always been in his life. - I didn't know of your existence until a few days ago, and when I did, I asked my daughter and my soldier to come and rescue you. -

- You... are my father? - The words came as no shock to Norgard, but something inside her was twisting, as if that girl would never accept him.

- Yes, Blair. I met Abigail Rudra when I went to Crebeci. - He said, getting up and brushing the snow off his knees. - Now let's go inside, it's cold out here. -

As he said this, Norgard and Blair walked side by side, while Von and Sophie looked at each other in a shameless way that Norgard pretended not to see. They entered the mansion and Sophie looked back, seeing only the white immensity that covered the grass in her garden. It was official: winter had arrived.