27
~Jimin*: I do not want the lyrics to speak. Just let our eyes, breaths, and heartbeats speak. I want to enjoy this moment with you. Only with you ... the only girl I love ... Cheonsa, promise me! You will never stop loving me. Always keep me in your heart. Do not give anyone the place I have in your heart, okay? ~
I went to the door and opened it. It was Kai!!! I just jumped to him!
Cheonsa: NiNi Bear! You came! I thought you would leave me alone forever!
Kai: ChiChi, is that even possible? I had gone with them because I had some work in Korea. Now I am back.
Cheonsa: You dumb!
Kai: Whatever, let me come inside.
Cheonsa: OK, come.
Kai went to the living room and I went to the kitchen to bring some coffee, actually, we both drink tea but I was so tired because of my song work and I should wake up.
Kai: Ah, I was about to ask you to make coffee instead of tea. You read my mind or what?
Cheonsa: Yeah, I can read your mind... kkkk. Just joking, I was really tired today so it would be good if I stand awake.
Kai: What made you this tired?
Cheonsa: I was given a songwriting homework about my life. And you know I recorded it, the lyrics and etc.
Kai: Hey, this is your 1st year, how did you take that?
Cheonsa: Uh, I missed a lesson's half and Ivy gave me this.
Kai: Ivy?
Cheonsa: Ah, that teacher.
Kai: Ha, Ok. You finished the recording?
Cheonsa: Yes!
Kai: Then I wanna listen!
Cheonsa: Uhm, OK, but wait I shall bring the speakers.
Kai: Ok.
I went to my room and brought the speakers. I connected the speakers with my tablet. I opened it. (Author: Open the song on the media.... actually, it's my fan song to Jimin with my friend for his birthday but I am gonna use it here for "the song about Taehyung" because he is Cheonsa's brother)
Kai: Woah! It's really good! But, it is not like a song about your life. It's like a love song.
Cheonsa: My life is my brother, Taehyung! That's why I wrote it for him! Actually, I was going to write something sad... but that was really going to be a love song but sad. So I just wrote it for Taehyung! And in some parts, I changed my voice with a voice changer, so the song is a bit like 2 people singing!
Kai: Woah! You are going to be a very good idol!
Cheonsa: Am I? But, when I hear the bad news about idols, my willingness goes.
Kai: Don't worry! You are going to be the best and the happiest! First of all, you have us, so you really don't have to worry!
Cheonsa: I think you are true! I am going to be happy with you!
Kai: By the way, how are you? I mean, about the difficulties of university life...
Cheonsa: Aishhh, just don't remind me!
Kai: What?! You have difficulties?
Cheonsa: Not about the lessons' difficulty level, but about my collegemates!
Kai: It's not that easy to make friends when you are at university!
Cheonsa: Ai, I already have some friends, but about my enemies!
Kai: Gosh, you already made enemies? I shouldn't be surprised! Because you've changed a lot!
Cheonsa: Stop teasing me! And yeah, I have enemies! The first one is a couple!
Kai: Hahaha, who are they?
Cheonsa: Belmin...
Kai: You gave a ship name to them? Hahahahah! What is their non-ship name then?
Cheonsa: Bellatrix and Jimin of course!
Kai: He hoes to your department?
Cheonsa: Unfortunately, yes...
Kai: Woah, what about that girl then? Bella something...
Cheonsa: Bellatrix. Look even her name is like "tricks"! She thinks that I am that jerk's girlfriend. Even Jimin doesn't look at her. She will get worse, b*tch!
Kai: Hey, don't say words like that!
Cheonsa: Do you think I care?
Kai: Cheonsa, ok, maybe it's all because of him, but just look at the mirror... You were a squishi kawaii someone... but now...
Cheonsa: What do you mean?
Kai: I am trying to say that just because of that Jimin, you changed yourself. Leave your acting to others, but, even your behavior and nature have changed towards yourself! You are not Cheonsa anymore.
Cheonsa: I know, I am Angel...
Kai: No, you are not Angel. Even with me, you don't talk as sweet as before...
Cheonsa: You are serious...
Kai: You recognized finally!
Why I don't know but I am crying just right now. Kai is correct, I changed myself towards everyone including myself. What have I done?
Kai: Come here.
I hugged him without knowing that someone* who loves me more than himself is watching us from the opened window...
X*: You really forgot...
Kai: Cheonsa, do you still love him?
Cheonsa: Who?
Kai: Jimin...
Cheonsa: Can I ask you? What would your reaction be if I still loved him?
Kai: Cheonsa, I want to confess to you. Do you remember 2 years ago, the day I came back to Korea? That day, actually, I came to you to confess my love. But I never thought that you and Jimin were or could be lovers. And I witnessed with my own eyes, you really loved him. You even hugged him first when we won the singing competition. You were in love with him even when you didn't admit it to yourself, and it's kind of impossible for you to forget him so easily. And I can respect that.
Cheonsa: What are you saying? But, I hope you don't love me anymore.
Kai: I buried my love on the day I learned that you two were dating, don't worry about it. Just tell me, do you still love him?
The person* watching us from the window was now listening to us. Being unaware of everything, I was turning this question in my mind. Do i still love him None of the fake and false Cheonsas can answer this... the real Cheonsa can answer that... but am I the real Cheonsa right now? Emotions have left me, my thoughts, my focus, the only thing with me right now is this question: "Do I still love Jimin?"
Kai: Cheonsa! Cheonsa!
I don't feel anything... I don't hear, I don't see, I don't feel... You know, when time stops for you... as if you're the only one in the world or the world has thrown you into nothingness... Jimin, do I love you? Maybe I still love, but I just can't forget someone who left me, I can't digest it to myself, I may not want to forget. I loved for the first time, and I was left alone... maybe I'm just saying I don't love you because I don't want to believe in love anymore? Maybe I think I made the wrong decision because I fell in love at a young age... maybe it was at my broken point that everything happened, you left, my parents left, Ainul Unnim gone, it wasn't clear where I was lost anyway... can I be taking the grudges out of everything on you?
At this point, can everything depend on my "maybes"? Well, do you still love me? Or do you want to break my heart again? Can you have the answer to my question? If I hear the words "I love you" from you again, can I get out of my cage? Can I open myself to the world again? But it gave me comfort in my situation, I just have problems communicating with people now, just like Kai said, I changed myself against everyone, my attitude towards my enemies, my relatives, and even myself has changed. This is a badass. Could it be that what makes me good is seeing you happy and mine? Can it be a good thing Kai could have asked me this question?
Kai: Cheonsa? Are you OK?
Cheonsa: Huh, what? Ah? Uhm? Uh?
Kai: Can you hear me?
Cheonsa: Yeah, sure...
Kai: Something happened to you...
Cheonsa: I know, I thought about the question you asked...
Kai: So what's your answer?
Cheonsa: Can you guess?
Kai: Uhmmm, is it NO? You really don't love him anymore?
Cheonsa: No.
Kai: Yes? You love him?
Cheonsa: Ah, as a Libra, I hate being in dilemma but, neither yes nor no...
Kai*confused*: How should I understand this? I think it's both good and bad.
Cheonsa: How?
Kai: It's good because, there's a 50% possibility you love him, but on the other hand, as it's bad, that there's also a 50% possibility you won't love him again...
Cheonsa: Kinda yes... I have to find the answers to some of my questions... then I can give a full and correct answer.
Kai: Are you going to tell me, those questions?
Cheonsa: no!
Kai: Okay then...
The face of the waiting person* at the window had fallen, waiting for the answer to the question. It was an answer even if it was "No", but at the moment he was still in dilemma...he hated it as a Libra as well. Being so far away from him right now was hurting him deadly... The reason he was deadly hurt was that it was already hurting his heart. Now he had the following questions on his mind: "I wonder if Cheonsa could really endure this much pain? Could she have gone through even more than that?"...
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I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THE EPISODE, AFTER THIS LONG TIME! PLEASE SUPPORT ME WITH YOUR STARS AND COMMENTS! ANNYEONG! I LOVE YOU, MY DEAR GHOST READERS:)) ~ !!!
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~(1617 words!!!)~