Survival Plan! The Odds are Against Me!!

When you grow up, people often find their perception of time going askew.

You often find that a week as an adult feels like a day in your childhood when you look back on it. Quit annoying right? It's said that the phenomenon is caused by a combination of two variables: Memory amount and memory quality. Sounds simple, doesn't it? But then why is it almost exclusive to childhood memories then? Well, you have to look closer to what "amount and quality" refers to.

Memory amount is not how long the memory lasted in itself, but how it compares to the rest of your memories. Gives even less sense? Well, essentially, if you are 10 and look back on the last 6 years of your life, that amounts to 60% of your life at that point. If you take into account that you probably can't properly remember those first 4 years anyway, then you would practically be looking back on your whole life! 100% compare that to a 30-year-old, who would only be looking back on 20% of their life. Of course, it's going to be different!

Then you have quality! ...

It's quite simpler to understand, isn't it? I think it can be summed up in a simple saying, "first come, first served"! You always remember the first time you did something over the tenth and twentieth time you did it, right?

Anyway, I'm going on a long tangent right now, am I not? Like, why math? This isn't like me. Still, it is necessary to understand my current situation.

In summarization, well, that was a f**king lie. Sometimes you experience situations that you will never forget, even when old! How you might ask? If you can't increase the amount and quality of the memories, there is one thing that all adults and young teens can relate to.

The worst of the corp! The bottom of the barrel! The grim reaper himself! Ladies and gentlemen, I welcome you humanities worst enemy, the world weight champion of making us depressed, S-T-R-E-S-S!!!!

Well, isn't that climatic!!!!! .... It's a real game-changer, okay!? If you can't win in amount or quality, just increases the amount of the quality. Isn't that just way too broken? Hacks, I call hacks!!!

First times only lasts a moment, stress is forever!!!

Rewards? Forget that! Nothing is better at motivating you than the threat of death looming over you, EVERY moment of the day! Ain't that wonderful!!?

I gotta escape!

The only thing that kept me sane, was the wonderous therapeutic effects from those ginormous, graceful, heavenly- What was I talking about again?

Oh yeah.

Bless them rocks, man!

Okay, I feel better now. Alice has returned to monk.

So, anyway, f**k that system.

It's been a month since that fateful strip-tease. And what have I done since then? Oh, you know, just working, like, all the time?

Breath*

Anyway, ever since the system went rough, it's wasted no time sending out quests to me! "Can't be that bad, right?", I hear you say? Well, I guess it wasn't all bad. I've gotten a promotion actually. I got promoted from a "basketball" to a f**king "baseball", a f**king baseball!!!

I've been thrown, no, shot actually? Yeah, shot. Shot across the entire city, that is!! From agency to agency, from studio to studio. Seems like everyone wants a piece of this 3-month-old, duel awakened a*s. I even meet the dam*n mayor!!!

Poor goldie though. That lass has been forced to follow me on that demonic system's schedule. Hehhh- Oy!! Wh-what is this feeling!! It's like I'm prey splayed flat on a plate, before a hungry predator!!!

Wait, it's coming from behind me! I'm not letting you get a piece of me this time world! Have-To-Turn-Around, UHHH!!!-oh...

I flipped out so much I started leaking my Moonlight Aura... And almost something else too!!!

"Hmm, what's wrong dear?"

"Wahhh!"(Turn around, precious!)

"Ahhh, you must want to talk to Lucy right?"

"Wa?"(Da f*c's a Lucy?)

Am I missing something?

Lucy, Lucy, L-U-C-Y, no, not ringing any bells here!

As I was thinking about who this Lucy kid was, mom had decided to turn around. What I was met with was scarier than I thought.

"Wawawa!!!"(Wait, why is goldie looking at me like that!!!)

Okay, calm down, she probably just has something in her eyes. I'm probably just imagining those golden sparks flying from her too. Yeah, there is no way a 3-month-old could look that scary. Fyu, I thought I would die there for a moment!

"Ahh, aren't they cute together!!"

Sure, mom. We are the youngest supermodels in the world, of course, we are gonna be pretty!... Well minus one of us at the moment, but that's okay, it's okay. Just gotta give it a good night of rest, that's all.

...

Yeah, I think she needed a longer rest!! Like a decade-long one at that!!!

Author's note: Next chapter is tomorrow! (Attack on the ¤/¤%#¤(learning with mom!!))