Chapter 5

Josy , It's really hard to explain to someone who has no clue, a world built not of sand but of memories we once shared , it's hard to explain the daily struggles created by pain , please, don't judge for you know not , day after day observing life instead of playing a part, if I showed my tears to you would you feel what I feel , unspoken words that fall like rain it keeps falling and I don't know why, my soul is on fire and it's burning, I plan not to tell and I plan not to show , I blame not him or her I blame them all I trusted, the galaxy I thought I once had, was just another creation like the others, if you were in my shoes what would you do with this pain ,which can't be seen and can't be touched , it's as invisible as the ghost ,it as invisible as the creatures we hear of ,it as invisible as the world I thought I had built .

This is the poem I wrote at age 8 . Invisible pain is its title ,it shows my emotions . I don't blame them Josy , I blame my desire to have a perfect family and to be loved by them . I tilted my head up to meet Josy's eyes only to see her at the verge of tears and a look of pity on her face , at this moment I let my tears flow and not caring about anything but to release the pain I feel every time .

If pleasure is the absence of pain,then pain comes first , the planter outside my front door,a wren's nest whorls down to darkness , The nestlings chirr when I pass by , or when the winds fingers brush too close , as if the wind and I are mother's , returning with meat as it refreshed , sensation means relieve from pain , meaning pain comes last ,like a shadow ,sleek and well-fed ,or a body's imprint in the bed ,I grow to love you , dear familiar . I resisted the poem I have always loved to read written by Michele Sharpe .Josy will it ever really end ?

I felt numb when I left Josy's office . When will all this end? My troubles ,my pain , my tears . Don't let your heart freeze, stop remembering memories , so the mind will be at peace, starts to walk away to get rid of risks, forget the past, begin where you'd last, Again,make sure that you'll never crush, for your heart not be scratched , don't afraid to fall in love again , just assure that lessons will be gained, Don't put your heart in pain ,Unless, yourself will inclose into the chain . A poem by Vang .

As I was walking I felt dizzy and with my teary eyes it became almost impossible to see. I could hear voices ,my mom's ,my brother's sweet voice, my dad's ,those men and every other person I had lived with .They were all talking which made it impossible to identify who was speaking. I fell to the ground as I felt all my problems subside and my world enveloped darkness.