69| little one

Levine

2 years later

I stare at the picture of my dad and I. It was the picture we took on graduation day. The smile on my face then was as real as it could be.

Graduation day, wasn't the best day. It was the day where we all thought we had buried my best friend, my sister. My heart still aches, it made me realize how short life really was. She could've died.

She didn't, but my dad did.

After Serine's birthday party, I was woken up by a phone call.

***

I could hear my phone ringing, it's default ring tone knocking me out of my slumber. There were pillows all over the room-- and the room I was in, was not mine. I frown, slowly sitting upright and yawn slightly. I grab my phone on chest- off- drawer and answer the call. Not even bothering to look who it was, that was calling me.

My palm, rests on my forehead and I tilt my head back slightly.

Fuck, I think I drank a little too much last night.

"Sweetie," I hear my mom's voice, it sounds so strained. "Mom? Mom

what's up? Do you know what time it is?"

"Levine, baby, are you sitting down?" I finally hear something different. Her voice breaks down by the last word. "Momma what happened?"

"Sweetheart-" I hear her cry. This causes my mind to wonder. "Last night--" She pauses. "your father died,"

I freeze.

Time stopping.

I start to feel dizzy.

I wanted so badly to tell her she was lying. To hope that this was all a bad dream and that none of what she said made sense. But I knew she wouldn't lie about something like that. "Sweetheart?" She says after she notices my line went flat.

I drop the phone, hanging up before she could say anything else.

"AHHH!"

***

I shed a tear at the memory. He died on the very night everything seemed to be going so well. And I barely even knew. The last call I had with him, was me telling him I was excited about Serine's birthday party. He said he was proud of me. He said he loved me, and he loved that he and momma raised a strong baby girl.

It's not everyday you hear such a thing.

All my life I lived wanting to satisfy my parents because they worked so hard to have everything they had now. I didn't want to be a disappointment. I loathed the thought of me, being the only child and barely having something my parents couldn't be proud about.

I wanted more for myself.

So when he died, it all felt useless. It was like someone had just amputated my legs. Because without them, there was a lot I couldn't do. A lot I would struggle with. I wouldn't be able to move, I wouldn't be able to function the same.

But I know if he was here, he'd motivate me at all costs.

He'd be wise, just like he had been his whole life.

He would've said, even if I couldn't move the same, I would still move. I wouldn't be able to function the way I'd like, but I would be living. I'd still have heart, I'd still have love in me. I'd still have life, even if it wouldn't be the same.

Yes, it would seem crazy to someone else -- but he was right. Not everyone could understand and he said that was okay.

I hear a knock om the door and this causes me to snap out of my thoughts. I wipe my tears away quickly but the door opens way before I can finish. "Hey," My eyes travel to the doorway and that's when I see a pair of green eyes. I squint my eyes a bit. "Darek?"

"What's up?" I ask, sitting upright. My eyes catch how his dressed so formal. His olive shirt complemented his complexion and matched his green eyes that were once tired and puffy, once upon a time.

"And where are you going looking like fine?" He opens his mouth but I speak before he can say anything. "Oh, let me guess, you're going to propose to Sarah," He freezes, and his eyes widen.

"Oh, I knew it!"

"Oh that's so romantic, practically high school sweethearts and we all went to the same college? With ups and downs- more downs honestly -- and now it's adulthood? I stan a love like that,"

"Actually I wasn't-" I tilt my head to the side, realizing his going to say something else. "I- it was-" His words seem to confuse me. "Actually, yes, you're right," He smiles brightly and I mirror his actions. "So I suppose you need my help, to distracted Sarah and then also look for something good to wear,"

He nods. "The best thing you can find in your closet,"

"Trust me, it's not this big for no reason,"

"I'll wait for you outside," He says, walking away. I nod and stand up, walking over to my closet. "Hey Levine?" I turn around, just to see Darek still by the door. "Yeah?"

"Are you ok?" Silence falls as his question catches me off guard. "You're asking because you saw me crying earlier?" He purses his lips, giving me the answer.

"I'm ok. I just- I miss him," My eyes land on the picture of my dad. Before I know it, I feel strong arms wrap around me. I allow myself to be hugged, I shed one single tear and let out a breathe. He rubs my back and I feel myself calm down.

"Let it out, little one,"

Little one.

What my dad used to call me.

"I just want him to here, y'know. I'd give anything. I miss him, so much. My dad, he was like- a piece of me,"

"And, I'm not that little, bitch," I chuckle, punching his chest. Luckily, I had only shed a tear and my tears hadn't covered his fancy shirt.

"Of course you are, you think you're older than me? Psh, keep dreaming,"

"I might have to snitch on Sarah and let her know that her man is a bully boy,"

"Bully boy?" He laughs. "Jesus, lady," I shrug, a small smile on my face.

"He'll be with you, more than ever now," Darek reassures me. I know that his talking about my father but it feels like there's something else behind his words.

Hmm.

I don't get the chance to ask him, because he leaves my room so quickly.

We'll, let's get ready.

***

It was golden hour, my favorite time of the day.

Where I'd finally witness the sunset.

My bare feet, was sinking in the sand with every step I took. The chill breeze causes my curls to cover my face as I walk.

I would've wore it up, if I knew it'd be this windy.

I wore a black ruched dress, with my hair down. I did not know the destination was the beach until Darek stopped the car. "Where the hell are we going? I swear this better be worth it all be-"

I'm unable to finish that sentence when I see a man, in a suit, his back facing me. "Uh, what the-"

"Baby," I turn around, finding a man that I knew, down on his one knee. The sun kissed his beautiful face and I could see his beautiful brown eyes, looking into mine.

"Middle school, that's when we first met, I was such a fool to let you go the first time and I'm not planning to repeat that mistake. Eveything that has happened has made me realize how precious and how short life is, despite all the downs it comes with. My life would be nothing without you in it, you're my everything,"

I gulp slowly.

"Darek I-"

"Levine Kristine Arnaud,"

"Will you do the honor, of being my wife?"

My hand is against my chest, as I'm heavily breathing. I look around and see all the familiar faces. Serine was looking at me was such joy and happiness. Sarah looked like she wanted to cry, Darek looked proud and David himself, seemed so anxious. As he waited for my answer.

Was I ready?

Was I ready to be someone's wife?

Maybe not.

Maybe yes.

"I love you so fucking much," I bite my lip. "Yes, I do. Of fucking course," It seemed like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders and picked me up, effortlessly. Everyone began applauding and cheering us on.

"She said yes," He celebrates and this makes me smile.

"She said YESS!"