What could have been

There are always going to be those moments in life that you wish you could take back and redo all of it. What would you do if you had the chance to go back and do that? Would you? I know I would. There are so many things that I would have done differently. If I had, I wouldn't have ruined so many relationships, whether it was between friends or family. Maybe I would have had better grades in school. Maybe... Just maybe I would have told Micha how I felt about him before it was too late.

"Ryder!" I woke up. "Ryder! Get up, girl!" I realized that it was my twin brother, Nicky, waking me up as my alarm went off... In my old house. "Nicky? What's going on? Why are we back in Kansas?"

"Back? We've been here for the past year. We haven't moved yet silly!"

My mom walked into the room as I turned the alarm off. "Stop talking to your imaginary brother and get your school clothes on! It's your first day as a freshman!"

I mean, my brother isn't imaginary. He's been dead since before birth and has grown up with me as a ghost. He's been my best friend since before I could remember. I quickly got my clothes on and grabbed my bookbag. "Wait! Before you go to the bus, I want to take a picture of you!"

On my way to the bus, I remembered that just on the other side, stood one of my best friends, Shay. Or, soon to be. I walked to that bus stop instead and introduced myself to her. We then began to talk and had become friends. Later at school, I had gotten my schedule and found my other friends from last year. I met another bestie, Gretta, and introduced myself to her. I told my friend wellie that I'd like to meet his girlfriend. He gave me a confused look and said "ok?"

I saw Micha, and my heart started to race. He came up to me as his weird self that I love so much. We greeted each other like normal, but it felt like my cheeks were on fire. "Are you okay?" he asked.

"Y-yeah. I'm fine."

"Hey! Ryder! You said you wanted to meet my girlfriend?" Wellie asked. I nodded my head, and there she is. My ultimate best friend, and sister from another family, Maddie. "Hello!" I said with a smile. We talked a bit, and before we knew it, we were best friends(again)!

I felt confident in telling Maddie what was going on and to my relief, she believed me! She had remembered everything that had happened from how we originally met and what it's like in our original time. I think she and I were given the second chance we needed to finally be happy. This is an absolute miracle!

We thought of our plans and, before we knew it, the day had passed and we were putting our plans into action.

"Wait... Hold up, sis. You mean that you traveled back here to undo your greatest mistake?" Nicky said, extremely surprised.

"I guess so!"

"So... Am I still with that hunk of heaven that I call my boyfriend?"

"Yes, Nicky!" I said laughing.

"Well, if you're putting your plan in motion tomorrow, you better get to sleep. Night, Ry-ry." Nicky said as he floated into the attic above me. "Night-night Nicky," I said as I drifted to sleep.

The next morning, I jumped out of bed, put my best school outfit on, and even did my hair into two very short French braids. When I walked over to the same bus stop, Shay had a look of surprise. "What's going on today? Is something special going on?"

"Just me hoping that I don't chicken out, or find out that it's too late to tell Micha how I truly feel about him," I admit while trying to hold the jitters in. "Well, I'm gonna wish you luck, sweetie," she said, as she pat me on the shoulder. All of a sudden, she remembered how we originally met, and every conversation we ever had. "Wait. Didn't you move to Georgia over the summer?"

"Wait... You remember?"

"How could I forget my child?"

Man, she must remember everything if she brought up our school family! "I've concluded that I've been brought back to this time in my life that way I can do something that I regret not doing in the past."

"Well, I better give you my phone number again." we laughed a bit as we traded phones and put in each other's number.

When we got to school, Shay and I went straight to the library because we knew that's where we could find him.

"Hey, Micha! I got to talk to you." I said as Shay grabbed his arm and dragged him to the empty part of the library. As she left, she gave me a thumbs up and a smile.

"Okay... I'm actually doing this in person." I muttered to myself as I walked behind the wall. "What's all this about?" Micha asked, genuinely confused.

"There's something I need to ask you..." I could feel my hands shaking as the words came out softly. "I-I really like you..."

"I'm sorry... I couldn't hear you very well," he said as he walked closer. "Can you say that again?"

"I really like you. A lot, actually."

Just then, I shut my eyes, to prepare myself if he rejects me. All of a sudden, I felt a hand brush against my cheek, as well as what seemed to be a soft kiss to my lips. "I really like you too," Micha said. When I opened my eyes, he had this wonderful smile on his face.

"So, does that mean you'll be my girlfriend?" he asked. "Absolutely!" I said as I wrapped my arms around him.

It sucked that this moment couldn't last forever, due to the bell. "I'll see you at lunch!" he said as he walked to his class.

Time went by super quickly, and before I knew it, it was lunchtime, and I could see Micha again. I got in the lunch line next to Maddie, and I told her what had happened. The next thing I know is Micha appearing, and grabbing me from behind. This was a dream come true! My prayers had been fulfilled, and now I can still have a second chance at my science class.

"Hey, I heard we will have homework assigned to get done for tomorrow's class for Mr. Clue." One of the kids behind us said. "Hey, Ry, isn't that your class?" Maddie asked. "Yeah... Today's the day I meet Bralin..."

"That's today?"

"Yep!"

"Who's Bralin?" Micha asked, still wrapped around me with his chin on my shoulder.

"Nobody important, " I replied. "It's also the class that I can not pass to save my life."

"I could always try and help you..." Micha said.

"When?"

"After school?"

"Um... I have to ask my mom." I then texted her, after we had found our seats outside in the courtyard. She messaged back asking if I had a ride back home.

"My mom could give you a ride home."

"Mkay..." She gave me the "ok" to go.

The next thing I knew, I was at Micha's house, and we were working on homework. A bit more time turned into talking, then kissing, and so forth. Today must be my lucky day! I had my very first kiss with someone I love and cherish. This day couldn't get any better!

The next couple of days, we were pretty clingy. Bralin was still trying to befriend me, but I know what he's like. He tried to play it off as his pencil was rolling onto my desk just to brush his hand against mine.

Now, because I knew that for some strange reason, people, besides Micha, could remember what had actually gone on in this year, Bralin had to of remembered it all. He looked at me in shock but kept his mouth shut and his hands to himself. I started to feel a little sick during class, but I held it in. I could not miss a single class.

The bus ride home did not help at all. The smells of the other kids, the seats, and even the book bags made me want to vomit.

"Are you okay?" Shay asked.

"Yeah, I think I'll be okay."

"Ok... I'll see you tomorrow then!"

"For sure!" I said with a smile, as we waved goodbye. Walking back home, I had to stop and puke. Something was very off...

Thankfully, I still had some money left from summer break, in which case, I dropped off my bag, grabbed the money, and walked to the gas station, which was right down the road. I thought about it for a bit and decided to buy what you all think that I did. I followed the instructions, and all three came back positive... I think I should tell Micha. Right as I was about to call him, I started to hear a murmured voice. It grew clearer and clearer until I opened my eyes, and realized that it was all just a dream and that Nicky had been trying to wake me up for hours now. Once I was fully awake, I told Nicky about the dream. Leaving no detail out. The truth is... Micha is still with someone else, yet he still likes me, Maddie is going through the same struggle as I am, and a lot of my friends from then don't talk to me anymore.

"Okay. Okay. But are you gonna give up your love for him, or are you never gonna let him forget it?" Nicky asked when I finished telling him about the dream.

"I don't think I could let him go even if I wanted to... I hope one day we could be more than friends... And I'll never let him forget it."