The Sphinx Who Just Wants Tech Support (One-Shot)

The Sphinx stood tall and imposing. It had the body of a lion with a head of a cat and wings those of a falcon.

Its claws and feet were red, likely because it used them to stomp at our frontline warriors and mages, crushing them like into a red fine mist.

The sky was grey, and the clouds covered the sun, turning the atmosphere depressed and devoid of life.

Blood was all around me, corpses scattered all across the battlefield. Looking across, I could see that I was possibly the only survivor.

For a moment, I thought about my family. My dear wife, which I would never see again, or hold in my embrace.

I thought about my kids, Amelia and Smith. They would grow without a father, they would no doubt suffer and grieve, but they would preserve.

I thought about impaling myself with my own sword, better than to be killed by this damned beast of death and decay.

I banished the thought from my mind not after a second had passed. It was a shameful death, dishonorable and a huge disservice to my family if I didn't at least fight for a chance to reunite with them.

Gripping my sword, I struggled to stand up, blood dripping from various lethal wounds.

The damn Sphinx was just sitting there arrogantly like a cat who had gotten bored with Its toy, Its serpentine tail idly flicking to and fro, disrupting the small mountain corpses littered around it.

I held my sword in reverse, preparing to throw it at the large red gem embedded in the Sphinx's forehead, knowing it would do nothing and mentally preparing for the fatal blow that would evidently come to reap my soul.

As expected, the sword bounced off harmlessly off the the Sphinx's head, and I closed my eyes, imagining the claw that would impale as it should come to reap my soul.

...A second passed.

...Two seconds.

....Three?

Frowning irritatedly, I flicked my eyes open and raised my voice at the beast irritatedly, who was still just sitting there, eyes half-lidded, almost bored.

"Well? What are you waiting for you asshat! C'mon, do it already! Kill me, eat me, do something for fuck's sake—!"

And for the first time since the battle began, the beast spoke with a rumble that boomed across the battlefield.

"Do not tempt me, mortal. For you see, as much as I am cruel and ruthless, I am not completely heartless. You were one of the few humans that fought with grace and vigor. I can see it in your eyes, you are no ordinary human. And for your skills, I am giving you a... call it a chance, perhaps."

Frowning in suspicion, I retorted cautiously, "What is this 'chance' that you're talking about? How can I even trust you? For all I know, this could just be a deliberate plot for you to crush me right after giving me hope just because you can."

The Sphinx — man, I was really getting tired having to refer to him as The Sphinx every single time — abandoned sitting and began walking toward mes, each and every one of its steps making small earthquakes.

Eventually, It was right Infront of me, the nose right in front of me — I greatly resisted the urge to boop it — eyes locking to my own.

The Sphinx snarled at my face, the voice vaguely resembling thousands of incomprehensible animal growls.

"Worthless human, do you actually believe that you have a choice in this matter? You will answer my riddle, whether you want to or not is not of importance."

I scoffed incredulously, not caring about the fact that a literal mythological beast of ancient tales was right in front of me. Yeah, guess almost dying does that to you.

"Riddles? Seriously, that's all you got? Well, then, ask away, bitch."

Either the Sphinx had the patience of a saint or thought my insults were crude, because instead of impaling me like a skewer kebab with Its claws, it simply sat down where it previously sat and coughed — well, attempted to, I assume, because it just came out as a growl.

"All right, then, humsn. Since you so insist on answering my riddles—" not only was the Sphinx a bitch, but it was also in denial. I can't say I'm surprised. "—I have no other choice but to humor you."

Coughing again for dramatic reasoning, the Sphinx continued, "What is the WiFi password?"

I blinked dumbly at the beast that killed my friends. "What the fuck?"

The Sphinx growled threateningly, "You heard me loud and clear, mortal. What. Is. The WiFi. Password?"

Deciding to play along for the time being, I bent down, took a sword from one of the rotting corpses beside me and cautiously asked a question in return, "Where's your router?"

Nodding impassively, the Sphinx then led me to Its router, inside one of the rooms in the Pyramids of Giza which held a large desktop and an equally large computer. Reaching with It's claws, the Sphinx dragged me next to the internet router.

The thing was old, probably older than my grandma. Turning the router upside down, I squinted at the writings and brushed off some dust, "Says here the password is 'Gizao738'?"

The Sphinx nodded belatedly, "Alright, your second riddle is to change the WiFi password to 'GreatSphinx69'—" It shifted one of its four eyes to glare at me now. "—And you will speak none of this to anyone."

I only sighed and rolled my eyes.

This was gonna take a long time.

[x]