WHAT HAVE I BECOME ?

So...

It was neither my dream nor my illusion anymore. Actually it never was. I had changed.

For real!

That night, my skin was really rough. It wasn't my illusion. But how could I change overnight? What happened to me actually? I remembered I was going to my college. Then how did this happen?

What's wrong with me, God? Tell me!

What have I become?

"Now will you stop?" The sudden voice broke my thoughts.

I looked up and saw the father and son were still sitting in the corner hugging each other. No, acting like shielding each other.

I gave a questioning look with my eyes.

Rishi pointed out his shaking finger towards me to the down. My eyes followed.

Then I almost choked on my own saliva. (T_T)

My jaw fell opened. Huh! 'What am doing?"

He again spoke, "Will you.... please.... stop that? It's scaring us!"

In my subconscious mind, I was cutting my hand with that knife. I had even forgotten that I was cutting my hand while trying to remember how I ended up here.

I threw the knife away from me. Rishi crawled towards the knife and held the knife in front of me. I again rolled up myself. I put my head on my knees.

'Why God? Why are you treating me like this? What have I done wrong? I just give ignore those people who follows me because of my fame and money, and just curse them to release my anger. Is this something wrong? Is it? Why am I being punished this way? I never want to be ended like this.'

I felt something cool on my face and arms, but I was in no mood to see that. But the coolness increased slowly. I wiped away that thing, but it rolled down again and again.

Suddenly, I felt a warm touch on my shoulders. I took a self defense posture. He shifted behind. His father shouted, "I told you not to go there. Come back here, Son. Let's leave here."

More tears gather in my eyes making my vision blurry. "Your dad is right. You should stay away from me. I don't know what I am. Staying near me is -"

Before I could finish my sentence, I felt a rubbing on my back. I looked up at his face, 'What is this guy trying to do?' But somehow I liked it. That touch wasn't of lust, wasn't out of fear. That touch was something else. There was warmth in it, that can take away any pain.

I closed my eyes. 'Strange! Why this guy suddenly became so caring? Why? Is he pitying? But why is his touch so warming?' My tears had stopped falling. But soon new drops began to fell. They weren't of pain. But something different that I couldn't express in words. Something special. Till now only my back was feeling the warmth, and now my whole body. The warmth. I opened my eyes. I found myself in his embrace. To my surprise I was also hugging him. He was stroking my hair and back.

The touch! So gentle! His touch reminded me of my uncle who used to calm me like this way when I was still a child. But later, he also left me. Then there was no one to calm. My parents never had time for me for their work.

Right! At this moment I needed this calming hug. I lost control on my tears and my mouth. I don't why I felt like to say him everything, "I-I- I'm not a monster. I'm also a human. I- I don't know what happened and how I became like this. I also get hurt. I also feel pain. Why no one sees me as a human but a tool? I'm not a tool. I'm me. Myself."

I paused to sniff and again began, "I was going to college with my friends. I was very excited for my first day in new environment. But then I felt something heavy -" I stopped.

My head! It again started to ache. I put my hands to my head from his back. Yeah! I remembered something now! I felt something behind my head. Something too strong. And when I had opened my eyes, I was in a dark room. Many men were there, laughing and saying.... Saying.

My head was becoming black. My eyes slowly becoming heavy. I struggled to keep my eyes open. 'I am remembering everything. I can't sleep now.' But my body didn't listen. I felt I was being shaken and a voice saying something.

Something like, "Calm down. It's okay now. Calm down!"

My head began to spin too fast. A tiredness covered all my body parts. I could no longer keep my eyes open. My eyes slowly closing. I felt patting on my face but I couldn't answer no matter what. Soon darkness overwhelmed me.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

"I said to get out of here," this sudden voice shook me in shock. What the hell! How noisy! Again I heard, "Don't! Don't touch me! Hey! Hey! Hey! I'm warning you. Stay away from her. I said..." Then I heard nothing but loud laughters. I could tell there were many men in the room. I wanted to open my eyes and look, but I was still sleepy. And I was in no mood to quarrel. Then I felt a touch at my waist and my arms. Soon I felt there was no contact in my back with the hard thing where I was lying, only a hand around my back and another hand inder my knees.

I cried, still sleepy, "Aaa! What the hell?" then I slowly opened my eyes and saw a terrific sight. My eyes were about to pop out in fear. A dangerous looking beard man with cuts all over the faces! He was so near to my face. 'Oh no! He is carrying me! What he want to do?'

I screamed in fear and shock, then punched him right into his nose. Then we lost our balance and I collided with the floor. I got up and brushed away the dirt. I looked around, there was 5 men in the room and 1 was lying. But there was no sign of the father and son. I put my hands in front of me into a fighting posture, "Who are you? What you want?"

They didn't answer my question but stepped towards me. My sixth sense was telling me that something was wrong. As soon as they tried to catch me, I don't know what got into me, I punched everyone in their nose. And those who still fought back after the punch, I kicked them hard, to their main point.

I clapped my hands to brush out the dirt, "Huh! Trying to hurt me. No way! And who are you? What are you trying to do?" Then I looked around the small suffocating room. "And where are they?"

"They are there where they supposed to be," a stick looking guy spoke while touching his nose. I turned to them, "Where?"

"With the boss. You- you also need to be there," another guy spoke. The man whom I hit first.

"Why?"

"We don't know. We're ordered to bring you there."

Though they hadn't reached their middle age, but I could tell their looks were really dangerous. Cuts were all over the faces. 'But who the hell is their boss? Why he wants me? Should I go there? No, I shouldn't. If something bad happens, how will I go to my home in full piece? But if I don't go there, what will happen to my life savers? What will happen to Rishi?' My hear pounded faster in remembering him. And without my knowledge, I felt my lips parted, "Take me to your boss."

Then I felt someone behind me. I could hear the footsteps. One, two and three. I moved towards the left, and a man fell on his back from behind. He was carrying a glass bottle. I sighed in frustration and then kicked his ass with my full force. He groaned in pain and then became silent. All looked towards me, then him and then again me.

"Take me to your boss. Now!"