Just Another High School Story!

After the perfect confession Leah had pulled off, the next morning, she woke up and put on her best outfit, a black one, of course, she wanted to look cute but professional at the same time, so she picked out a black shirt, it was a bit businesslike, but stylish, it had a cute tie-thingy, that hung from the collar, giving full on 'professional' vibes, after school, she had to meet a publisher, a publisher wanted to sign with her, they wanted to let Leah bloom under there care or at least that is what he had said on the phone, she was excited, nervous, feeling fizzy but the good kind of fizzy and after all the trouble she went through to make her hair look good with a side braid, and leave it open by the other end, she was not going to miss anything, she did not use make up or anything though, she was too lazy to do that, but Mia was super good at makeup, she wanted to do make up on halloween and Mia was already booked and happy to help! Ah, what a life, Leah thought while zipping up her pants, she really, really enjoyed the feeling of wearing skinny jeans and not feeling like she was being choked, her size had gone down significantly, she could fit into old clothes, and it wasn't this that felt nice, it was the fact that she achieved what she wanted and was still going on, and she realised that she liked this feeling of being strong not just skinny, last week, she had been to a seminar, it was organised by a hospital for her to talk to other bulimia patients, they had had a long, long talk about their lives, Leah had let down her guard, group therapy felt nice, and even though she had recovered, there was one thing she wanted to do, help others make a quick recovery, as well.

Leah was pretty famous in this hospital, because of her story, the patients were all allowed to read it, and they felt so close to this girl they were seeing for the first time, every one was really nice, super nice to her, they looked at her with admiration, Leah was told she was supposed to show up, she did not know that she would be leading the session, she was there to listen and communicate, after all what is a better solution to help bulimics other than letting them hear about the disorder, pain, recovery from a bulimic herself. Usually, girls or boys her age did not have the courage to say that they were 'bulimic', people called them 'attention-seekers', or 'Nut-jobs', there was no limit to the names, people could make up for you if you go to a facility, patients are forced to shut themselves up and feel ashamed, she had no words for those who could not understand the pain that a patient of any kind goes through, but she had a lot to say to these distant friends of hers, she would not hold back, be embarrassed or do even 0.0000001% less than what she had promised them she would do, she would be honest, vulnerable, completely.

A girl called Julia began to talk to her first, she said, "Thank you so much for sharing this story, I always felt like I had no one to talk to either, every second in my house was miserable, no one in my family understood why I just couldn't gobble up my food, and shut my mouth, why I needed to whine about it later. Why I couldn't just eat the pizza? Why the hell, the number of slices that went into my mouth mattered so much, or at all, and even if I was a little chubby, why I had to starve myself or exercise like a crazy person. After being humiliated and embarrassed, I finally decided that I was unwell, and I needed help, that I couldn't possibly live like that all my life, I wanted to end the pain so many times, just jump of the window, run into a car, slit my throat, cut off my stomach altogether, either of those things were fine by me, as long as I could just sleep peacefully after that. If I didn't have to think about my body, clothes and my face after that... I was ready to run away, fall off, let things take care of themselves, but then I realised one day, while I was puking my guts out, I got up to wash my face, and when I looked at my ridiculous, tear-stained face, I realised that since the problem is mine, I have to find the solution myself. Even though my family was a little afraid of letting me come here, they did not act mad either, I was worried they would be embarrassed and annoyed, most people are, but they were not. And so I ended up here, with these amazing people.

We are all fighting together, if it is hard on one, that simply means it is hard on all of us, to help one of us go through it, we stick together and being together means a lot to me. It is seriously easier, the shame is unbearable alone, but when you're with people going through the same thing as you, you realise that you should not have to be ashamed of something that is not even your fault to begin with."

By this time, Julia was finished speaking and Leah was moved, she wanted to cry but this was not the time to break down, it was time to be the beacon of hope, she needed when she was going through the same process of recovery, she could not explain it, there were days when she would feel sick even during recovery, but that is normal, she would have the urge to stop, turn back, it was easier than walking ahead, but she knew that all her effort would be wasted, she did not want to allow herself to fall back into old patterns and regret it later, therefore, she decided that she could do it!