Little Star in the sky

AM FRIGHTENED, NERVOUS, STRESSFUL, SHOCKED, VERY VERY SHOCKED.

Where am I? Am I in hell or in heaven? Am I on earth or on another 

planet?? Am I in the universe?? 

Anyone here, 

please tell me where am I?? I see hell here on one side and on the other side, I see happiness and prosperity. I am stuck in 

the corner on the hell side, where I am seeing only bad things and on the other side of the corner, I am seeing happiness and

prosperity, where everyone is happy, it's like 

heaven on the other side of the corner.

On the hell side, I see sorrow everywhere, some are crying, some are trying to kill someone else. Pain is everywhere, I am seeing no one happy here. Why am I here?? Who has brought me here?? Am I dead?? Did I do bad things?

is that why I am here?? Has god sent me here or has any other power dragged me here??

Who has tied my hand?? there are ten ends of this 

chain which are going to different places, What is 

happening?  what have I done that I am getting this punishment, someone tell me, is someone here? Someone say something! No one is speaking, I am scared to see all the things here. My heart is beating hard, my mind is not working, my bare feet are trembling. I am feeling strangely 

restless, my senses are slowly stopping.

Then suddenly I started moving into peace, and I got up immediately and saw that people are coming towards me from every corner of the chain, all those people are 

coming towards me, they are slowly coming towards to me.

My heartbeat is slowly accelerating. Now they are almost close to me. When I looked carefully towards them, I see that those people look completely like me.

They are ten people, one person at each chain corner who looks like me.

Seeing this, I became more frightened, I started asking myself," I am here, so who are these people who look like me. All these ten people are laughing at me, someone is abusing me, somebody is telling me that you cannot do anything, someone is telling me to die, some are 

telling me that I am worthless, some are taunting me, some are rebuking me. 

All these people 

look like me, but their nature is different 

from mine - all these people are looking very violent and 

bad.

All ten people are up to humiliate me, now I 

feel that they will eat me. These ten people are saying what they are 

saying in the form of my boss, my neighbors, my friends, my relatives, who have said these 

things every day. I have got frightened with the taunts and abuse of 

these people. Are these people being my sins???

Probably I am dead. After death, I haven't got any relief and peace. God, now please give me 

relief from their taunts and abuses. I have not done anything bad to anyone, yet why is all this happening to me?

I start speaking to myself. I start to lose control of myself, after hearing all this and I shout loudly that I am not stupid,

I'm not a bad person, I'm not worthless — and I suddenly wake up from sleep. After waking up from this nightmare, I am still loudly screaming I am not bad, not bad, not bad… Due to my screams, my neighbors rush to my house and hit the door bell. I hear the bell, run towards the door and I have opened the door, everyone is starting to ask me questions, "What has happened Suraj, why did you scream? Anything wrong with you, Suraj? I tell everyone, "Nothing wrong, just woke up from a nightmare.

Sorry, very, very sorry, I apologize to everyone for screaming.

My neighbours have gone to their homes and I also go to my bedroom.

 I am starting to think about my nightmare. 

That dream was very strange. Why was I dreaming that way? Why did I have such a dream? Is there any truth in this? It was just a dream. This type of dream never comes true. It was a horrible dream. Afterwards, I think for some time about the dream and then go to sleep. In the morning, I wake up at 7.00 clock and I am still thinking about that dream I don't know, but that dream is coming in my mind automatically. Finally, I have decided to forget about it.

Besides that, I am very sad from one month. Because one month earlier my mother passed away due to cancer. She was happy, very caring and a loving mother. She always supported me in every part of my life, and now she has died. She was a believer in god, that's why my mother wanted to visit India's holy places. I promised her that I will take her to all the holy places in India but she died before I could fulfil my promise, that's the reason for my sadness. I am totally alone in my life now, my father also died 10 years ago.

I could not even fulfill my mother's last wish; it will haunt me for the rest of my life. Sometimes I feel

 that my life is a bit of a nuisance. I feel very lonely right 

now. This house has also been orphaned with me.

I work in a multinational company. I am the top employee there. But I am not happy with this job. I do not get pleasure from doing this work, I am just doing that work. I do not know why I am doing it. I was like that before as well, I was disappointed, frustrated and sad, because I do not like anything in my life. I have become a person living under the shadow of fear, sadness and despair. This shadow of fear has broken me. I keep thinking about my future and past life every time.

Will my life pass away like this?

Will I never be satisfied and happy in my life? What is 

happening with me? My friends ask me every 

time what has gone wrong with me. Why are you so sad? But what do I say to them? Really, I do not know why I am sad.

This has been happening to me since a long time. Right now, I wonder when did I live my life 

properly? Should I seek help from God? Will God help me to be happy? I do not know, but I pray to God every day. But I 

have not yet found the happiness that I am looking 

for. Has God stopped helping me, am I so bad? No! No! I'm not a bad 

person, I have not thought bad 

about anyone. But why I am sad and disappointed every time. Has God written this in my fate? Will I die like this??

I think this whole world is laughing at me, making fun of me. Because I am not living my life properly. But why am I thinking like this? I see many people, even those people are not happy in their lives.

 I feel that the people of this world are sad and desperate, this world 

has sorrow and suffering only. All the people are waiting for their death, when all their sorrows will come to an end. Is my thinking, right?? I do not know if I am thinking right or not, but I 

feel the same way as I have seen this world, I have seen more people

sad here and disappointed, and I have also always seen myself sad and disappointed.

These things were coming in my mind. I do not even know how the time went by, it is now 9 o'clock in the morning,

I have been thinking about these things, since long and the time has come for me to go to office.

I am starting to prepare for my office, now I'm ready to go. I took out my bike and start to go to the office. On my way to the office, I am starting to think on the bike.

Just my house parrot with me which is with me in this house since my childhood. My parrot has the ability to talk. Whenever I see him. He keeps looking at me. As if he is trying to tell me something. I feel my parrot has been trying to tell me something for a long time, but yet I could not understand all this time. My parrot can talk to me whenever I talk to him. I am used to playing and talking a little with the parrot every day. After playing with him and while I went for another work. Whenever I start to go my parrot seemed like it saying," Go free yourself! Go free yourself!" I have not yet found meaning to what it was saying every time, I used to ignore it. In my

childhood, I was a happy boy,

I always enjoyed, playing, jumping, going out with friends and I loved 

exploring the environment, loved to see 

animals and birds. I liked to hear nature sounds. I loved to learn about animals, birds, plants and forests. In my childhood,I was very confident, brave and always tried to do 

everything, whatever I liked to do.

I didn't like to study that much, I always used to avoid my studies. Because of that my father always was angry at me every time. But my mommy used to save me from my father every time. Papa always used to tell me, study well. He had expected from me to become a well-known engineer. My father had already thought of my career. Whatever my father thought about me. I did not take him too seriously. I used to be happy and enjoyed my life. I used to do what I really loved. I was always happy. One day my father bought a painting at home. It was an abstract painting. That painting was very strange because it had lots of eyes drawn into it, and in the middle, there was the bright sun. Rainbow Colors were in the background of the painting.

I did not understand anything. So, I asked my father, "what is this painting? I did not understand anything, father. Father,can you tell me what is the

meaning of this painting, Papa said when 

you grow up, you will understand whatthe meaning of this painting 

is. I said to my father, okay. Father, when I will get to know this painting's meaning. I will tell you 

first. I do not know why my father did not tell me the meaning of this 

painting. Now I am 24 years old, I 

have not yet understood it's meaning. Finally, I gave up and I went away from it.

This thing was coming in my mind. During that, I suddenly got out my thinking and I see, I have reached the office. I get off the bike and go inside the office.

Just like every time I come into the office, I wish everyone a good morning. After that I start doing my work.  8 hours have gone. I have finished my 

office work and I am leaving the office now. While leaving, my colleague has asked me to come to a party tomorrow. But I made up my mind that I will not go to this party. Now I go to the parking lot. I take my bike and now I am leaving for my house. After a while, I have reached my home. I am 

totally exhausted today. I first ate something and go for sleeping in my bedroom. On way in the bedroom suddenly I look at the painting. This is the same painting that my father had brought home. I feel like something is happening to me. Suddenly I have been getting some visuals that are in the painting. I feel some hallucinations. When I open my eyes, I see, I am stuck in the painting. It is having a hypnotic effect on me, I feel as though I am a part of it, I am totally involved in the painting, it's drowning me, it's all I see, eyes are everywhere. The painting's eyes have surrounded me all around. All 

those eyes are looking at me with an unhappy, angry, jealous and insidious attitude. I am getting blurred by the sun's light over me. After seeing all this, my heartbeat 

slowly started accelerating. I am thinking that how can this be possible. This is totally impossible! How am I in the painting? Is something supernatural happening to me?? Has someone dragged me in some kind of a magic spell or is this my mind hallucination?? These paintings eyes are very aggressive towards me and I am feeling like they are taunting, criticizing, shouting and ordering me. The sun above me is releasing very strong sunrays due to that I lost my strength of control. Sometime later, I have fainted. After I get consciousness and When I open my eyes. So, I see that I am not in painting. I am in my home. Now, I am feeling very bad, uneasy, shocked and my whole body is shivering due to that painting hallucination.

I have started thinking about what was happening to me in that painting. That was unimaginable thing happened me. I am starting to lose my strength and I feel very sleepy. So, I went to sleep. I am getting sleep but sometime later I have felt something in my dream. Like, I am getting some visuals of hell and heaven. During these visuals, I am thinking that these visuals I had seen somewhere. Suddenly, I realize it was the same dream that I saw earlier. Where I was trapped in a place like hell. Now, I am seeing same kind of visuals and things that I saw earlier. But today I am seeing something very strange. Everything in this place, people are killing, eating each other. The same chain I am seeing that is tied on my hand and chain have ten ends which are going to different directions. From the chain end those same people who look like me are coming towards me. They come very close to me and start saying in my ears. They are saying to me, you are not a worthy person to live in this world, loser, ungrateful and frightened person. They are also taunting, abusing and molesting me very badly. Due to their voices my mind start paining badly and I am starting to scream very loudly and get out of my dream. This dream which I saw earlier, today I had the same dream. Why I am having this dream, how can the same dream come again and again? Are there any reasons to get this dream? I have totally lost my mind due to these undesirable things that are happening to me. First, I got a nightmare, after that I had been feeling that my parrot was trying to tell me something, after that I had got hallucination of painting and after that I have got same nightmare that I had got first time.

These are too much things happening in my life. These are difficult situations for me to handle.

When I look at the watch, it has 2 o'clock in the night. I 

am scared even more now by the clock of the clock. So I 

take out the clock and break it. Right now, same 

nightmare is coming to my eyes even if I have woken up. The same ten people who look like me are repeating the same thing and haunting me again and again. For almost 2 hours the same dream has been haunting me 

even after I have woken up. Finally, nightmare has stopped coming in front of eyes.

Now I am trying to sleep and I have slept. Due to the dream, I wake up late this morning. Today is Saturday. Saturday and Sunday, I have holidays for weekends. But yesterday nightmare still I am thinking about it. Initially, I have lot many issues in my life and now these are nightmare and painting hallucinations. I just keep thinking about my life. I have seen that I remain unhappy, stressed, frightened about my future, and past. Only these things are happening in my life. Now the scary dream and that strange-looking photo have given me shocked in my mind. Why is all this happening to me? I look outside of my home and think about what I am doing in the morning. Then I have pacified myself and then I see outside that 

the atmosphere outside is very good. I love to feel nature. Whenever I think of nature, I think about it, then I feel good. So, I sit in my house garden chair and start feeling the fresh breeze, birds, skies, animals 

and trees. Then the cricket ball comes to me and I think whose ball it is??  Then a child comes to my chair and said, "Brother, give me my ball, please. That child belongs to my neighbor uncle who is 

playing alone with a cricket ball in the morning. So, I pick up the ball and I ask him this is your ball Piyush. Piyush 

said, brother, yes. This is my ball. I ask Piyush, Piyush can I play with you?. Anyway, I like to play with small children.

So, I start playing cricket with Piyush. I am having a lot of fun play with Piyush.

I feel good now. While playing this cricket with Piyush I have forgotten all my problems. I am enjoying this game. Just like Piyush. Piyush is a sweet and happy child like every child in his age. I am also happy to see Piyush, who is laughing, seeing him blissful. I have got into a thinking while laughing and playing. I am feeling happy and fun as a child in my childhood. While playing I am seeing and thinking about Piyush. He is enjoying his game joyfully. When he is injured. When I ask him, are you ok piyush. Piyush tell, yes brother I am ok. I ask him again why did you laugh after gets injured. Piyush replied me, nothing brother this is very small thing for me and I usually laugh on such a thing. I have totally shocked when I heart his reply. Even he is in childhood but his thinking process is very big even if he got injured badly but he never cries on his situation. He started laughing at it. He never cries on bad situation. He is trying play good cricket. He never sees his external circumstances, he only enjoying his game.

I start to thinking while playing. In my childhood, I was also happy and joyful as a child. I was never allowed anything to disturb my joyful moments. I always neglected external circumstances like bad and good. After certain age gradually all the outside things start to affect me and way of enjoying life was degraded. Why it happened to me that I have living frustrated life today. Why do I keep moving around every time with trouble? Why I am lost in the darkness of despair, even in my happiness. Why am I not like Piyush who only stays happy and joyful all the time. Piyush is living his life like the water of a flowing river and as the river does not let his water become dirty as it flows continuously. In the same way, Piyush does not allow his external things to be affected his life. Piyush as a child, his thinking process does not focus on the future and past. He only lives happily with his today life.

Piyush is like a bird flying a free eagle, who never lets disappointment, sorrow, and everything else in his life. All birds find shelter when it rains. But an eagle cloud to avoid the rain flies above.

I have decided while playing with Piyush that I will completely change my life from now. One little child changed my whole life. Told me a way to live my life, which I have been trying to find for long time. Like a little star in the sky, Piyush came into my life suddenly and give me answers of all my questions. I have played a little more with Piyush and I have thanked Piyush. Now I left for my home happily.

I am thinking that all the things happening in my life, I will change them form today. First of all, I come my home and ask question to myself what is the meaning of this painting. Due to this painting, I had got hallucination. But now when I see this painting right now, I am slowly understanding all the paintings that have so many eyes, they are the eyes of the people Who always see the doubt in my decisions? They are abuse, taunts on me, and try to put me in the swamp of despair.

These eyes belong to those people who try to lower my confidence. Call me bad But I do not have to worry about this now, do not be disappointed because of them, do not stuck in their trap, but live like the sun which is in this painting. Because the sun does not get affected by external circumstances. The sun always is his real state. Be like the sun. Do not let the words of all people have consequences on your life. Live a stunning life like the Sun. So, this truth of life message my father was trying to give me using this painting. Now I have known the real meaning of this painting.

This painting did not haunt me but this painting had tried to tell something about truth of life through my subconscious state of mind. But I looked the wrong way at the painting. Now I have understood. After that I am starting thinking about my nightmare and I have got something. Whatever I had seen in my nightmare that was the reflection of my current life. In that nightmare, I saw that I was stuck in corner of hell this nightmare was telling me that I worsened my life using my past decision and thinking of the future. Corner of another side, I saw heaven-like place this thing was telling me that free yourself with your all your sadness, nervousness and live life freely. Don't impose your problem on your head forcefully just solve it with free and aware mind. When you will start living freely your life, then only you get heaven like place immediately of other side corner.

Whatever is happening in my life reason behind it is me because I was started complaining when I get sorrow, problems, stress, and bad external circumstances. I am only behind my worse condition. In that nightmare, I was stuck in the corner, chain tied on hand and 10 ends of the chain are spread in different directions. From that directions 10 persons were coming towards me and they were looking like me. Those are related to my state of mind. whenever I had got any problems so I have had started suffer badly with my thinking problem. I always faced my problem with the wrong approach. Means that those peoples I saw them in a nightmare, they started to tell me that I am worthless, loser, I will spend

the rest of my life miserable, I am a wrong person,

you wasted your life. Because of these words. I

influenced with these words and I was starting to say to me the same thing that I am worthless, I am a loser, I will spend the rest of my life miserable, I am a wrong person, I wasted my life. Due to continuous repeating these words, my subconscious mind captured them and completely stored them. In real-life so many occasions many peoples had told me the same thing as that 10 persons told me in my nightmare. I had been getting nightmare due to these subconsciously stored words. So, this situation is created by me, I have stored these words in my subconscious mind and I have never tried to trough out of my mind. So, my subconscious mind bothering me with nightmares.

I have found myself in hell because I have trapped it myself. The only solution here that takes an initiative to change my life with good thoughts and I have to reject whatever people are saying to me. That's a real reason behind it my nightmare and now I knew that.

The third thing, why I was feeling that my parrot has told me that free yourself, free yourself. Why was I feeling like that? So now I go near to my parrot cage, I am looking at him. I feel clear that's free sounds are directly coming to my subconscious mind. My mind had started to relate to my current state of life with a parrot cage. My mind in the cage is the same way as a parrot. I have kept myself in a cage.

Finally, I have understood all my suffering reasons. I have released myself from the cage and same way I release my parrot from the cage and it flies freely towards the sky. My parrot has got freedom now from the cage and me also.

In the same way, I am also free myself from my own bad thinking mind's cage. I have got to understand all these things because of Piyush. when I was playing with Piyush, my mind got triggered to understand my life conditions why am I am living like this. Piyush is like a little star in the sky to me who guides me to live a free life. This little star comes into my life to change my existing's bad beliefs, how to live life in a true way. After finding out every reason behind my sorrows and problems. I have started doing whatever I like most and enjoying it. I have started living my life freely and happily.....

Think critically about which way do you want to live like in a cage where it has limited and restricted or in the open sky where is no limit....

Life is easy don't make it hard because whatever is happening in your life, it has some reasons, don't make your life worse because of your thinking. Make your life simple with your thinking ...…

Start to take initiative to find real reasons behind your problems most of the time reality behind any problem in your life is only you. When you find you will definitely change your life