Chapter 14: College?

Naomi's POV

I found myself glued to the romance book that Josh suggested, it was no doubt one of the best romance books I've ever read.

The sound of knocking on my door sounded so distant that I almost didn't answer.

"Come in!" I yell disturbed.

The door suddenly flew open. "Why would I want to come into your book infested room?" Riley says irritated.

"I'm pretty sure you have a lot of books in your room" I deadpanned.

"Not as much as you do, like get a life. Anyways I came to tell you dinner was ready." She scoffs before walking away.

Its been like this between us lately, she's taking time way more than usual. I think its because I what said in the car the other day.

I painfully close the book telling it goodbye as I went downstairs for dinner.

"You've been stuck in your room again, did you get a new book?" Dave asks as I take my seat at the table.

"I got a few." I tell him trying to hide my grin.

"I bet they're all great if your grinning like that." He chuckles.

I start plating my salad when Riley spoke.

"What about Hero?" She asks suddenly.

"I think his mom is home." Dave replies.

"I'll go check." Riley jumps up excited.

"Don't bother, last trim I went he said to call him next time instead of banging down the door." Pause to take out my phone. "I'll get him on the phone."

"Hello." His deep voice came over the phone. I don't think I'll ever get used to it.

"Hey, is your mom home?"

"Yeah, she's leaving for work right now. Why?"

"We were just checking if you had dinner yet."

"Oh, I already ate."

"He already ate." I tell Riley and uncle Dave who were eagerly awaiting my response.

"That's too bad I made extra." Uncle Dave groans, while Riley just huffs.

I hear him chuckle on the other end at Dave's response.

"Bye." I say hanging up the phone.

After that we ate dinner while we talked about the usual things, school, work and books. And that's when uncle Dave popped a question none of us were ready for.

"Have you two decided what colleges you want to go to yet?"

The dinner table went quite and Riley and I stopped eating.

"What's the matter?" He asks Riley.

"Dad, no offense. But, can you afford to send both of to college at same time?"

"I'll figure something out." He says cheerily.

"Dad colleges aren't cheap." Riley argues.

"Sweetie I've been saving up, besides you don't need to worry about money that's not your job." He says reassuringly.

We stayed quiet for awhile before Riley spoke again.

"I haven't decided yet." She tells her dad.

"Well, you could always send out multiple applications. That way you'll have options."

"I never thought about that way." She says her face changing from gloomy to optimistic.

"And what about you Naomi?" He asks with a big smile on his face.

Despite his optimism, I couldn't smile or fake a laugh, like a usually do. So I didn't answer him.

He soon saw the look on my face and decided not to push the topic any further. I could feel both their gazes on me but I didn't look at either of them. I just kept staring blankly at my plate not able to touch the food since I lost my appetite.

I played around with my food until everyone was finished eating.

"I'll do the dishes." I mumble, they don't argue they just leave quietly.

I sit at the table for who knows how long, stuck in my own thoughts. All my thoughts kept swirling in one big blur I couldn't make sense of anything that was going on in my head.

Deciding to give up on sorting out my thoughts, I got up and loaded the dishwasher then went to my room. I sat on my bed with my medication next to me, I glared at them for so long my neck started to hurt and eyes filled with water.

I tore my eyes away from the pills as I grabbed a bottle of water so I could take my pills. I couldn't stop glaring at the pills so I decided to put them away

I busied myself by cleaning my room. I dusted my entire bookshelf and all my books before restocking neatly in correct order. I continue my cleaning by dusting down my desktop and changing its position on the table.

I continued my cleaning by changing my sheets and folding every piece of clothing I owned, even my underwear. When I was done I even vacuumed my room.

But that didn't work.

As soon as I stopped cleaning the huge blur that was my thoughts filled my head almost instantly. But this time, on thought stood out from the rest.

Why would I choose a college when I don't even know if I'll live to attend it.

As this thought filled my head and consumed my mind I found myself on the brink of tears. I ran over to my bed and grab one my pillows so I could scream in it.

I screamed as hard and as loud as I could but it muffled my the pillow. I screamed again as the tears started stream down my face.

I wish someone could hear me. I wish someone could help me.

I say these words in my mind but truth is, I'm too afraid to open up to anyone about how I really feel.

I'd much rather suffer in silence.