Chapter 17: Sara Ajmal

I thought it was Ashar who had come to save me once again…but I woke up to Aunt Fareeda of all people, hovering over me with an ashen look on her face. In fact, she had looked like she had aged about 20 years since I had last seen her. But her face which Ashar had taken so much after reminded me of everything that I had lost…and I completely lost it on her. Ashar Hussain was the ONLY person I had let into my life little by little. I admit that I could get a little…spoilt at times but Ashar was the only person who didn't have a single judgmental look on him at all. He was a very…specific person and I guess that was what had attracted me to him, but he was also so very self-assured, very confident in himself and his mere presence commanded respect…not unlike Khirad in fact. He was a real man that I wanted by my side at all times, he was the only person that could be my equal. I had many other men proposing to me all the time but they were all the same; goody-two-shoes who didn't want to toe the line in case their daddies disowned them and took their inheritance away. Ashar was the only person who understood me…and he had been taken away from me by not only Khirad but Asher's mother as well; the only person who fuelled my dreams of becoming her daughter-in-law. Not a day went by for years when we didn't discuss my future married life, how we would spend our days together, holidays, birthdays and so on. But she couldn't even deliver this promise to me so what did I have to lose now? I lunged at her from the moment I saw her, not caring about 'the recent trauma' she had been through. I screamed at the top of my lungs and tore out as much of her hair as I could before I was held back by at least 5 doctors who all shoved me onto the bed and put some sort of vile injection through my arm that had started to make me drowsy. 

 When I woke up again it was my mother who was by my side this time, with the same look on her face as her sister. The first thing I did was to look around for my saviour…but he was nowhere to be seen. I asked my mother about Ashar before she could get a word in edgewise. But I knew my mother all too well; the look on her face told me that Ashar wasn't the one who had saved me…so that meant there was only one person who could have saved me. I felt a chill in my bones when I asked my mother who had saved me, but she couldn't even bring herself to look at me never mind answer me. It took me a while to gain the courage to ask her who had saved me but before I could say anything, right there and then when I was at my lowest point and had just woken up from trying to kill myself my mother had served me the ultimate betrayal by declaring a marriage proposal…from Khiazr just as I had promised and just as I heard him talk to my father of all people. I suddenly felt like I had the biggest migraine in the world, the room started spinning and i am pretty sure I threw up before I passed out again…

 …only to wake up again to Khizar standing over me with a sickly sweet smile that made me want to lunge at him if only my father wasn't standing next to him with the biggest smile on his face too. This wasn't part of the plan at all; my father travellled practically every week since I was a child so I hadn't seen him properly in forever, and as far as I knew he wasn't supposed to be home until next year. I closed my eyes as tears started falling down my face, it didn't take a genius to figure out what Khizar did whilst I was unconscious…but it was supposed to be Ashar in his place now. 

 I asked my father what he was doing home but before he could answer me he pretty much slapped me clean across the face and started ranting to my mother what a reckless child she had raised and how I was good for nothing apart from trying to kill myself. He tore my mother into shreds in front of the whole hospital with his words…before sanctioning my marriage to Khizar' since I had agreed to it…and pulling out now would only bring him shame'…Khizar had me trapped and he knew it; if my father had any idea what I had done to my cousin's family, then not only would he disown me but he would have no qualms about throwing me out onto the streets with no support at all. All I wanted to do was kill myself for good this time…

 …but maybe…if I was given this chance to live again then maybe there was still a chance no matter how small it was to get Ashar back to me at all costs.