Cap 1847: The new Urd part 5

Pov Barerosa: 

I couldn't believe it, there were too many things to absorb, too many things to know at once, so many memories in my head about the Ascended, about the 3 thrones, about the Entities, about the Universes of the outer rim, about the void in the Ascended, about the maximum category Experiments, about the traitorous Ascended, about Experiment No. 89 and about an Ascended Goddess that I never imagined would exist. 

Every aspect of what I thought was possible was wrong, everything was a lie or so superficial that it was stupid to never have seen through. 

How did I not notice the void of the Ascended when I was one of them before becoming a true Ascended? 

How did I not notice that Zenos was very different from the other Ascended? 

How did I never question my orders when we were all heading towards destruction where not even Souls remained? 

How did I never notice the traitors when their feelings were so detachable?