THE ADMIRERS' CONFESSIONS

Princess Deokman walked right into her Chambers as she was followed by Yushin Rang, Alcheon Rang and Gopheung Rang.

Reaching her table she sat down with all of them.

"Your Highness, I might say that Seungman Rang has put on quite a splendid show, don't you think?" Gopheung asked.

"She is excellent and has some wonderful skills, had she been a boy she wouldn't have progresed to the third stage as a default." Alcheon Rang said.

"Her archery was remarkable Your Highness." Yushin Rang said, "What do you think?" He asked.

"I was impressed." Princess Deokman replied.

"Everyone was." Yushin Rang said.

"In deed Seungman will be very helpful to us and to this Shilla." Princess Deokman said.

"Come to think about it Your Highness, she has proven her prowess but the people that she is up against this time around aren't the same ordinary Nangdos." Gopheung said.

"I have known the Hwarang for a new time and most times we have young recruits but I was amazed when I beheld a new older face, as old as mine." Princess Deokman said.

"Which one Your Highness?" Gopheung asked.

"I was most surprised by the man called Bidam Rang." Princess Deokman replied.

"Bidam Rang?" Yushin asked.

"He is a new recruit." Alcheon Rang said.

"Tell me more about him." Princess Deokman said.

"I can't say that we know more about him either your Highness but considering the lifestyle he lives, it's a lavish one and all that is known is that he is a descendant of King Jinheung which makes him a distant cousin of yours.

Though as I have heard he is a reserved person, he hasn't many friends but I have been close to him since childhood and he never talked about his biological parents though as far as I remember he was raised by your Uncle Galmunwang Baekban." Alcheon Rang replied.

"No wonder I find him quite bothersome." Princess Deokman said.

"Your Highness, I have known Bidam since young and yes he could have been raised by Your Uncle but contrary to him he has a very soft and tender heart.

His personality is honest as he is hardworking in nature and even smart, he is morally upright and he may be good looking but in any crisis he is very calculative and diligent.

I can also say that he is brave and resourceful and surpassingly graceful you won't notice that he is privileged when he is roaming the streets of Seoraebeol, he dresses very well but not so nobly." Alcheon Rang defended.

"If you say so." Princess Deokman said, "Hearing that puts my heart at ease a little." She added.

"We're you worried about him?" Yushin Rang asked.

"Naturally in my position I should be suspicious of everything that happens around me and the people I am with.

I tell you all these things because you are the people that I trust as it is even in my Hwarang there are those that bear a heavy aversion towards me." Princess Deokman replied.

"If Bidam were to plot anything bad against you Your Highness, I would be the very first person to know because I know him inside out." Alcheon Rang said.

"Then I am certain that you shall." Princess Deokman said.

"Your Highness, now that the Hwarang games have started and your Uncle has done nothing do you expect him to do something anytime soon.

"I still have questions as it seems to me that I distrust the New Queen and I highly doubt her intentions so we must watch out for her.

My uncle putting people in the Hwarang was an indicator that he'll try to do the same in the Palace.

Naturally at this time of the year as the Keeper of the Hwarang I am supposed to be very busy and I am certain that one if these days he is bound to do something.

Keep on secretly investigating the incident of Gokhyeonwangsa Temple but most importantly this might sound out of line but keep an eye out for Bidam and Seungman." Princess Deokman said.

"Why Your Highness?" Alcheon Rang asked.

"We do not know whether Seungman was linked to the Gokhyeonwangsa Temple incident seventeen years ago but her being a Hwarang has surely spread about the entire Capital she might be someone that is vital and we must protect.

Bidam Rang on the other hand might be forced by my uncle to do something against his will or should he fail to yield to his demands then it might put him in a grace position.

All in all those two people are as important on our side for me to realise my cause which I have made my dream for this Shilla and we can not let any harm to befall them." Princess Deokman replied.

"Yes Your Highness." They all replied in unison as they bowed their heads.

"Yushin Rang stay behind, I need to talk to you." Princess Deokman said. "Others you can go." She ordered and the other two stood up and bowed their heads as they walked out of the room.

"Your Highness." Yushin Rang said as he noticed that there was a certain expression on her face that was familiar to that of worry.

"What is it?" He asked.

"I had a dream last night." Princess Deokman said.

"A dream?" Yushin Rang asked.

"Yes." Princess Deokman replied.

"Please tell me." Yushin Rang said.

"I was walking with you and the I noticed that the path that we were following was leading us to the Palace." Princess Deokman said, "I entered and it was amidst everyone's praise as I walked up and mounted the stairs that led to the throne but halfway there I halted and I was forced to look behind while you also followed my lead and did the same.

And I was surprised when I saw someone else." She added.

"Who was it Your Highness, Alcheon Rang?" Yushin asked.

"None of them all." Princess Deokman replied.

"If not them then who?" Yushin Rang asked.

"I saw Seungman dressed in a beautiful scarlet and golden face and her face Shining like the sun as she smiled, her feet were stepping right within the very marks that my feet had made." Princess Deokman said and Yushin Rang was surprised.

"Seungman?" He said.

"She spoke up to me in one strong and sweet voice and she told me, 'PYEHA, I'LL FOLLOW IN YOUR FOOTSTEPS'." Princess Deokman replied.

"I don't understand what it means." Yushin Rang said.

"Even I don't understand but that dream gave me so much joy as I was certain that to that young girl, I was like a Messiah as she was like a disciple to me and in her I am firm that she'll in the future bring greatness to this our Shilla like you and me." Princess Deokman said.

"It really does mean something very auspicious about her." Yushin Rang said.

"And I decided that the moment I wake up this morning I am going to turn her into one of my greatest disciples in that where I can not have you, she will keep you for me." Princess Deokman said.

"What do you mean Your Highness?" Yushin asked.

"I could never be a warrior for you, I could never be a wife that you love, I could never see you off to work at day and tuck you in to sleep at night.

Seungman on the other hand is of age and I fear that one day I might not be here to hold your hand anymore, no, I might not be here for you to see me.

My only wish is that even when that day comes and perhaps I have to go to my tomb before you, I don't care who it is that is reigning over this Shilla but rule the battlefield with her and help me even in my death to Unite the three Kingdoms of Samhan." Princess Deokman replied.

"My devotion Your Highness in you shall never waver and in trusting you I shall never grow weary at all even if you died protecting Shilla with your all I'd protect it ten times more and if your dream was to see Samhan United then I'd be there to perceive it for you." Yushin Rang said.

"Monarchs have ministers to lean on, unlike them I have great Generals and strong warriors." Princess Deokman said.

"You're not building an Empire Your Highness, you are only defending and Uniting your own." Yushin replied.

"It doesn't matter Yushin Rang, all in all there are enemies around and you are one of the only people that I trust more than anyone else." Princess Deokman said.

"Rest assured Your Highness, I shall never leave nor forsake you because as your dream is my dream and your cause is my cause, your purpose is mine as well." Yushin Rang said.

"Thank you." Princess Deokman said and Yushin Rang stood up and bowed his head as he walked out of the room and left Princess Deokman inside alone.

Seungman was walking up to her room when she felt a pair of soft hands that were covering her eyes.

She knew that trick to be familiar and at once she said the first name that came to her mind.

"Damhyeong?" She called and the person who was covering her eyes let go so quickly that she turned around to see who it was.

"Who is Damhyeong?" Haesul asked and Seungman's face became sulky.

"Exactly, who is Damhyeong?" Seungman said to herself as she continued her way and Haesul went right by his side.

"Was he your lover?" Haesul asked.

"No." Seungman replied, "He was rather like a brother to me and the only boy that I grew up with in my life." Seungman replied.

"You must have had a very lonely childhood." Haesul said.

"No, I only had a very curious one." Seungman replied.

"I still fail to tell the difference." Haesul said.

"You are old, aren't you afraid that other Nangdos seeing you here with the only girl in the Hwarang they'll make fun of you?" Seungman asked.

"When I am with you there is nothing to be afraid and ashamed about, besides, I wanted to congratulate you upon your victory." Haesul said.

"Which victory is there for me?" I only passed through as a default that I should be the one to congratulate you instead." Seungman said, "You put on quite the show even I myself I was amazed and happy that you have gone through to the next level." She added.

"It wasn't that easy, I never knew that the early Hwarang days would be great." Haesul said.

"You seem to love it here much more than I do." Seungman said.

"You are the reason that I love it here, everyone else feels like a stranger while you on the other hand you bring comfort to my heart and I am at ease." Haesul said.

Seungman looked away.

"Sometimes this feels like a dream." Seungman said.

"Same here for me." Haesul replied.

"Why?" Seungman Asked.

"Before you came into my life I was very hopeless at practice and even when I made an effort in my martial arts I never really pleased father no matter how hard I tried.

It always felt like a spark within me was missing and looking in my old man's eyes my constant failures to beat him at swordsmanship only drew in them a disappointment which he reflected at me." Haesul said.

"Perhaps that is the price you pay for being born of a warrior." Seungman said.

"That's the price you pay for being born of one of the best warriors." Haesul said.

"Then why do you think you suddenly improved, why do you think you suddenly changed?" Seungman asked.

"Even I don't know it but at least there is one thing that I am certain about that the very first day I saw you I was inspired and I never regretted it.

The first time I fought you I felt like I was so loving and all that I wanted to do was to make myself good enough because thanks to you my father saw hope in me when I had given up on seeing it in myself." Haesul replied.

"I got so used to trying to become better and perhaps learning to be good at it just like you and in the very end, it made me realize that even if this is a dream but as long as there is you in it, it is the best dream that I have ever had I never wish to wake up from it." He added.

"The path that is ahead of us is dark and full of so much uncertainty, we are warriors that have put our lives on the line and the very moment that we'll walk onto a battlefield we won't be certain if there would be a return.

I'm there for you today but you can never be too certain the same case will be tomorrow and what if I am not right beside you one day and you can not see me, if this was a dream, would you still want to be living it?" Seungman asked.

"I'd devote my life even if I had to give up the whole of it to live in those memories that you shall have given me, because to me nothing will be more precious." Haesul replied.

Seungman halted and Haesul did the same.

Until that point their conversation had originally been casual she hadn't noticed how intimate it had become.

"What about your wife, won't you get married?" Seungman asked.

"If there is a woman that I love and if there is a woman that I live for, then it is you Seungman." Haesul replied.

"Stop." Seungman said. "You can not love me." She added.

"Why?" Haesul asked, "If I were to ask my father then I believe that he would agree to me marrying you." He added.

"You don't understand." Seungman said.

"Perhaps I choose to be blinded by my heart." Haesul said.

"In my heart there is someone else that I love, I'm my heart there is someone else that I cherish, there is someone that I desire to see every morning when I wake up and be the last thing that these eyes of mine behold every night when I go to sleep." Seungman said.

"I don't really care." Haesul said.

"But I do because I can never give you my heart, because I can never replace that person, because he is the one that I love and for you I see nothing more than an older brother." Seungman said.

"Just as you can never replace him in your heart I can never even once replace you in mine, for you I would take vows of chastity abd as long as you are where your heart belongs and you are happy it gives me joy because to me that's what love itself is, willingness to give up everything without expecting anything in return." Haesul said.

"Oh what devotion you have, it is so great that it certainly breaks my heart, if you could give yourself to loving a woman like me, why can't you do the same for this your country Shilla?" Seungman asked.

"Because to me without you, Shilla will remain mountains and rivers, villages and towns, skies and valleys and without you loving me, seeing you from a distance gives me peace because even if there are a hundred people that can take that place inside your heart and none of them are me you'll always be here in mine." Haesul said as he touched his left chest.

Seungman looked at him and her eyes grew teary.

"You fool." She said.

"I'm a fool for love." Haesul replied.

"You are just like Damhyeong and like you I rejected him." Seungman said.

"For a person who breaks way too many hearts like yourself, I wouldn't get angry because I know better than anyone else that to love is not easy but what again is more difficult than doing so is having to abandon your heart and choose to die a person that is lonely." Haesul said.

"Please do me a favor." Seungman said.

"What is it?" Haesul asked.

"Before the end of the Hwarang Games, come nowhere near me and please stay far." Seungman said.

"If it makes you happy then I will comply." Haesul replied and without wasting any time he turned around and walked back away as he left Seungman alone in the alley that led to her chambers.

She opened the doors of her room and she walked up to the small mirror that was stationed right in front of her table.

She sat down and stared at her reflection as she lifted her right hand and held her cheek.

"Seungman?" She called herself, "why do you have to be so beautiful?" She asked as she smiled.

"These eyes of yours are fatally dark, your smile alone is entirely bewitching, the tone of softness within your voice is as sharp as the head of an arrow, why do these men fall for you?" Seungman said.

"They're all sincere, they are all kind, no one wants a warrior woman, contrary to all these men looking at you they feel satisfied.

What honor have I left to stare at this honest mirror, must I doom these good looking men to lives of chastity, is this a sign from the universe to turn them all against themselves.

Perhaps when they have slain one another I'll be bound to being alone, Heaven please punish this beauty of yours because what others call a blessing it's burden on my shoulders has turned it into a curse I can not hold." She added.

"Why should you feel regrettable, a woman should have no remorse in her own Beauty." She heard a certain voice that she was forced to turn around and see who it was.

The woman that was standing behind her was Bora.

"Who are you?" Seungman asked as she stood up from where she was seated.

"I am Bora." The woman replied, "I don't think you know me." She added.

"If I did I wouldn't have bothered to ask for your identity." Seungman said.

"You must be wondering a lot in your mind but above all things to us women if not beauty then what is our pride?" Bora asked as she walked closer towards Seungman and then stopping right in front of her she pulled from her clothes an envelope.

"What is this?" Seungman asked.

"Even I don't know, I am merely a servant but consider this a reply to the question you asked my master last time." Bora replied as Seungman opened the envelope and she pulled out the piece of paper.

"Doesn't he think that it's too late?" Seungman asked. "I already got what I wanted the most." She added.

"Rather he is willing to give you so much more because unbeknownst to you, there are many hurdles that lay ahead of you and this is an opportunity you have been given to become a Hwarang but not a guarantee." Bora replied.

"How can I trust your words, why shouldn't I see him in person myself, words that travel on paper can always be changed, it's better to talk face to face about such a crucial matter because in it's involvement there is both life and death." Seungman said.

"Master?" Bora called and at once from the side of the door, a hooded man walked in.

He halted there and he removed from his head the dark good that was hanging over.

"Your Excellency." Seungman said with a smile on her face as she bowed her head.

"You put on quite a good show, and I must say perhaps I should also fall for you." Baekban replied.

"Please don't, aren't you worried and frightened that my brilliance on your side could be something that is fatal?" Seungman asked.

"As the saying goes that two heads are better than one, you'd have to rely on me so deeply that you'd entirely become so dependent, and when that happens you yourself wouldn't live without me." Baekban replied.

"You must know my anguish too well, you must value my sweat just as much." Seungman said.

"What I see is a talent in you and there are things that I can give you that no other person can." Baekban said.

"What more?" Seungman asked.

"I can give you an identity so fast you wouldn't have to work your head off to become so great, I could turn you from a rural girl into a courtesan and even a Queen of this Kingdom.

Are you not that devoted to Shilla?" Baekban asked, "I am old and I can give you the power greater than that of the King to cause you to possess it." Baekban replied.

Seungman laughed.

"Have you lost it?" She asked.

"I am telling you the Truth." Baekban replied.

"How are you going to do that?" Seungman asked.

"You asked me what my intention was my friend I couldn't stop looking through your eyes, when everywhere blood is shed for the dream of uniting this country, it's been more than a century and where are we now.

When you gaze at the walls that guard the border, when you stare and the bricks that constitute the Fortresses, all of these are souls, ghosts there to haunt us all, desires and names forgotten some with passions and dreams unfulfilled.

All in all what you see is not courage, what you see is not hope, what you see is not unity, no it's rivers of blood flowing from the East to the West.

Mountains bear witness, the sky cries water it's not Shilla which has devoured her own children, it's her rulers that have done nothing much to Protect them.

Compared to all these my intentions are different, only I can mourn for her children and only I can comfort her soul, I do not wish to become the most powerful man in Shilla, I want to rule it and I want to become it's King." Baekban replied. "Does your devotion match up to mine?" Baekban asked as his eyes were filled with sincerity yet he was looking straight in her own that started to lack confidence.

Seungman went down on her knees.

"You have moved me and I can share that devotion towards Shilla with you, what's your will for me Master, I shall let it be done." Seungman said.

"Rise and follow me, on my behalf I want you to become great enough to lead these Hwarang." Baekban said.

"Don't worry Master, " Seungman said, "I won't let you down." She added.

"There's a long way ahead of us, I trust you are capable given the courage that rages within you is too much, only in the hands of such compassionate people can Shilla itself stand a chance against the other Kingdoms to survive." Baekban said.

"Yes Your Excellency." Seungman replied as she put her head on the ground before him.

Baekban walked out of the room and he was followed by Bora.

"Your Excellency, you have succeeded." Bora said.

"To get to the cold heart of any human you must first Begin by winning over the parts that are softened and understanding what they want to listen to." Baekban replied.

"At this rate she is to your best use." Bora said.

"But at least with her for the first time I felt so open and sincere." Baekban replied with a smile on his face as the two disappeared.

Seungman moved towards her bad and she sat down as she wiped away the small tears that had started to run from her eyes.

"What remarkable devotion, who could love Shilla better than yourself that you made me feel as though you were the great Bak Hyeokgyeose." Seungman said to herself.

Seungman walked into Princess Deokman's Chambers and there she found her facing the window.

She was with Yushin Rang and Gopheung and the two of them were looking at her.

"How did it go?" Princess Deokman asked while she still maintained her direction.

"It was a success." Seungman replied that at once Princess Deokman turned around and faced her with a smile on her face.

"Excuse us." Princess Deokman ordered and Yushin Rang and Gopheung bowed their heads and they walked out of the room leaving the two women.

"Let's sit down." Princess Deokman said and Seungman complied.

"They are here." Seungman said.

"I am aware of everything." Princess Deokman said.

"You must have heard that he came to personally see me." Seungman said.

"Everyone knows him very well and he is a very smart person." Princess Deokman said.

"Galmunwang Baekban wishes to be King your Highness." Seungman said.

"I understand that very well." Princess Deokman said, "I never forced him to say it out loud but considering the fact that you did so having spent barely a month here in Seoraebeol I am amazed." She added.

"He was perfect and he in deed moved my heart, his tongue was too sweet that I couldn't help myself but commend his good skill, it was something quite remarkable it's without a doubt now I understand why many follow him." Seungman said.

"He opened up his heart to you and despite his offer being so sweet I can't help but wonder, why did you turn him down?" Princess Deokman asked.

"I chose to follow you before and I am true to my word." Seungman replied.

"But you said that the temptation was irresistible." Princess Deokman said.

"He was very good but he had one flaw, his tongue slipped as he was wise by half and laid for himself a trap that he couldn't escape and dug his own grave" Seungman replied.

"What did he promise you?" Princess Deokman asked.

"Can you imagine that he promised to make me a Queen of Shilla." Seungman said.

Princess Deokman startled.

"What did he say?" She asked once again.

"He promised to make me a Queen of Shilla." Seungman replied.

"Why did you decline?" Princess Deokman asked.

"I understand the caste system very well given that I have been here a while, if it were possible for all Shilla Queens to be descendants of a lowly bloodline then what would have been the fate of the Hallowed bone, the aristocrats wouldn't be distinct from the Commons." Seungman replied.

"You can never be too certain what goes on in the human mind, my uncle is smart that I'm so sure that he there is something that he is cooking up his sleeve." Princess Deokman said.

"There is something that he asked me to do for him." Seungman replied.

"What did he say?" Princess Deokman asked.

"He told me to master the support of the Hwarang, he asked me to lead them." Seungman replied.

Princess Deokman smiled.

"What do you think Your Highness?" Seungman asked.

"To prove that you are trustworthy enough, he has set this task up for you, if we withdraw quickly then it shall be a sign to him that you are on my side." Princess Deokman said.

"How Your Highness?" Seungman asked.

"I am making a bargain and giving you my Hwarang, beyond that it's for you to decide what to do with them." Princess Deokman replied.