Chapter 5. A new goal

Army headquarters was a hive of frenetic activity. Quartermaster teams busily loaded and unloaded trucks carrying vast quantities of materiel. Officers and their companies waited in formation to board their troop transports, which would take them to their new destinations. While the war in Sudan had been over for only a few months, a new conflict had begun in the neighbouring Republic of Galia. There was always a war to fight.

Ruslan and Connie were walking through this flurry of activity towards the main exit of the barracks, when a familiar shout made Ruslan stop as he heard his name being called.

- RUSLAN DRAKE, - Ruslan heard from behind him, and as he turned his face broke into a smile.

- Drill Sergeant Doyle - Ruslan shook his former instructor's hand with his new right hand.

- They told me you took quite a beating in the desert, - said Doyle with a hint of concern in his voice and on his face. - Glad to see you've recovered, lad.

- Yeah, it hasn't been a bed of roses though, Sergeant, - Ruslan replied, and then proceeded to the introductions. – Master Sergeant Arthur Doyle, former Sergeant Constance Perry, another 26th Company survivor.

- Sergeant Doyle, - said Connie and offered her hand to Doyle, who shook it firmly.

- Nice to meet you, Perry, I've heard about you from your buddies in the old 26th. You're a tough cookie. They all told me what a good soldier you are.

- Is that all they told you about me? - she asked mischievously.

- That's all I care about, - Doyle replied firmly. - But why the "ex" sergeant, and why aren't you Drake wearing a major's uniform?

Ruslan went on to relate his falling out with General Abernathy to the old sergeant, which caused him to grimace.

- I'm not going back to the army Doyle, - Ruslan replied. - There is too much corruption in high places. They take advantage of those who truly want to serve a good cause, like Connie, our deceased comrades.... They sully the sacrifice of those who give their lives for more than personal gain, and those who don't take their orders without question, they discard them as if they were nothing more than trash. No, I will not take orders from people with such questionable morals.

- I see, so you're going back to being a civilian, - Doyle said. - I respect your reasons, and your decision.

- Thank you, - Ruslan said, but seeing Doyle's doubtful expression, he questioned him. - Is something wrong, Doyle?

- Actually, this encounter is not a coincidence, - the old NCO said frankly. - I was looking for you.

- What for?

- Not here. There are too many ears listening to what we say, - Doyle replied, - and as you said yourself, too much corruption.

Doyle summoned them both to a tavern near the Thames that evening. Ruslan without a second's hesitation agreed, Connie of course seconded.

The Boswick Witch tavern was crowded when Ruslan and Constance entered. They looked around for Doyle, who beckoned to them from a table at the back of the pub. As they approached, they saw that he was accompanied by two other people; a young, freckle-faced, red-haired, blue-eyed girl and a burly, grey-haired man. Even though he wore civilian clothes, you could tell he was military, his attitude gave him away. Doyle motioned for them to sit down and began the introductions.

- Ruslan Drake, Constance Perry, this is Colonel Nathan McGregor, the young lady is Abygaile Mackintosh.

- Well Doyle, - said Ruslan, - why have you asked us to meet the Commander-in-Chief of the Military Police?

- I see you're still doing your homework, boy, - Doyle replied proudly.

- You've never needed to give me a conversation starter Doyle, what's this all about? - Ruslan replied with a jaded look on his face.

- I need a favour, - Arthur said with a serious look on his face. - Nate will tell you what's going on.

- I assume you know that military action has recently begun in the Republic of Galia, - McGregor cut to the chase.

- Yes, there's always a new war brewing, - Connie said gloomily.

- One of my PM men went to investigate certain irregularities on the front in Galia. He infiltrated one of the squads as a sergeant.

- What kind of irregularities? - Connie asked.

- Attacks on civilians, looting, abuse of authority... that kind of incidents.

- Right, and we're interested in that because...? - Ruslan asked.

- I haven't received any communication for days. Something must have happened to him, - McGregor replied.

- This is the favour I was telling you about. We need someone trustworthy and outside the chain of command to go and look for him, - said Doyle.

- Let me get this straight, you want to send a crippled civilian into a war zone, to rescue an undercover military policeman investigating abuses of power by corrupt members of our army on the front line in Galia, - Ruslan recapped.

- Yes, that's exactly it.

- I only have one question left, - Ruslan said, half amused and half annoyed, - Why on earth would I do such a crazy thing?

- Because it's the right thing to do, - Doyle replied.

- I lost an eye and an arm trying to do the right thing. Doing the right thing didn't really pay off for me, - Ruslan retorted without a second thought.

- Come on, lad. You're the best I know, only you could carry out this mission, - said Doyle.

- Doyle, read my lips, - said Ruslan, stepping forward on the table. - I'm not doing it!

Suddenly the silent woman accompanying Doyle and McGregor broke her silence for the first time all evening.

- Sergeant Doyle told me that you enlisted to protect people, is that true?

- That was in the past, - Ruslan replied. - I'm not the same man I was nine years ago.

- But you still want to help save lives, don't you? - said Abygaile Mackintosh with a pleading tone in her voice.

Ruslan began to doubt his resolve.

- Even if I did, why should I embark on this rescue? I can go on helping people here in Albion. I don't need to go back to that hellhole.

- But Ruslan, we can't let a comrade down! - Connie put her hand on his left arm.

- Connie, not you too, please, - sighed Ruslan, rubbing his eyes with his left hand as he tried to suppress an incipient headache.

- Mr Drake, - Abygaile addressed him, a silent plea in his eyes. - The man in distress is my brother.

- Well, believe me, I'm sorry, but.... - Ruslan began, pointing to her with his left hand.

- Please - the young Mackintosh took Ruslan's left hand in hers, her voice sounding desperate, tears welling up in her eyes. - I'm asking for your help.

Connie put her hand over Abygaile's. Ruslan looked from one to the other of his interlocutors as he pondered the ransom demand. After a few minutes, he sighed deeply, lowered his head, and when he raised it again, his gaze focused on Doyle and McGregor.

- If I were to accept, and I haven't said I will yet, - Ruslan said taciturnly. - What would be the terms?

- You would be empowered as a temporary agent of the Military Police, - said McGregor. - You would answer directly and only to me, outside the official chain of command, and you would have carte blanche to search for my agent. We would give you enough authority so that no one would stand in your way.

Ruslan looked McGregor in the eye, his gaze exuding sincerity. Then he looked at Doyle, who stood expectantly, his hands on the table clenched into a fist. He passed his gaze to Connie, who nodded, confirming that she would also be on board if he so chose. Finally, he looked back into Abygaile's eyes, who had a pleading but determined look in her eyes.

- All right, I'll go, - he finally gave in.

- And I'll go with you, - Connie blurted out, seeming to have been holding back the urge to say it for a while.

- I'll go with you too, - Abygaile said suddenly.

- I don't know if that's a good idea... - Doyle began, but the young Mackintosh cut him off.

- I'm going to look for my brother, and I won't take no for an answer.

Ruslan began to wonder why all the women in his life were so stubborn, was it karma, was it luck, was it fate, was it destiny? Who cared, he had to think about the mission at hand.

- Do you know how to use a weapon? - Ruslan asked Abygaile with a serious look on his face.

- My father and brother taught me to shoot with a rifle and a revolver.

- Well, you can come with us, but follow our instructions. On a battlefield, things can get complicated in the blink of an eye.

Abygaile nodded, his blue eyes a glint of steely resolve. Connie gave him a friendly pat on the forearm and smiled. Ruslan turned his attention to Doyle and McGregor.

- We'll need weapons, transport and documentation for the mission.

- You'll get it, I'll take care of the paperwork. Doyle will take care of the rest, - McGregor said.

- I know a good gunsmith in town, and a fisherman who can take you by boat to the Norman coast. Tomorrow we'll go and provision you and I'll set up a meeting with the ship's captain.

Ruslan nodded, rose, and without saying goodbye, headed for the tavern door with Connie at his side. Once they were on the street, they walked in the direction of the Drake estate. Ruslan was brooding, until Connie interrupted his thoughts.

- What's on your mind?

- I'm thinking about how to tell my family that I'm going back to a warzone, without them having a syncope.

- Good luck with that, - she said wryly, giving him a sympathetic pat on the back.

- My mother's not going to be amused, Connie, - said Ruslan, and he began to dread his parents' reaction when he explained. - She might kill me before I even get back to the fight.

The family dinner that night became a little tense as Ruslan began to explain his upcoming trip to Galia. His parents and siblings listened patiently to his arguments, but it was not going to be so easy to convince them with words alone.

- I understand that you want to help these people, - said his mother sympathetically. - But son, don't you think you've risked your life enough on distant battlefields?

- Is it possible that someone else could take over? - asked his father.

- I doubt it, Arthur Doyle is not a man given to asking favours, - Ruslan replied. - And you don't get a request like that from the head of the Military Police, let alone someone who has earned the enmity of the top brass like me. Not unless they have no choice.

- And poor Abygaile sounded so desperate to find her brother, she seemed totally sincere, - added Connie.

- But you hardly know her, Connie, - said Catherine Drake, looking at her brother. - This isn't chivalrous of you, is it, little brother?

- When have I ever been one to do such a risky thing out of mere chivalry, Cathe,' replied her brother.

- Well, when you were young you used to do a lot of foolish things when a pretty girl made eyes at you, - Jack joked jokingly to his older brother.

- Did you really? Tell me, tell me, Jackie, - said Connie, who had ended up calling Jack by that familiar nickname on a regular basis.

- Could you guys take this seriously? - chided the Drake matriarch.

- I can try, - said Ruslan wryly, and pointing at Connie, he added, - Don't ask her to be serious, it's not in her genes.

- Guilty, - Connie said with a smile.

Marion Drake stood up abruptly, slamming her hands on the table, causing her empty glass to tip over onto the white tablecloth. She had an angry look on her face and was about to burst into a rebuke of her son and her friend, when her husband stood up and put his hand on her shoulder to calm her down. She turned to him.

- And shouldn't you say something to talk some sense into your son? - Marion said desperately.

- The last time I tried, we ended up separated for nine years, - William Drake replied calmly. - Ruslan is an adult and has to make his own decisions.

Marion Drake sank back in her chair with her shoulders slumped and her hands clasped one on top of the other. Her gaze was flooded with concern. William Drake turned to his son Ruslan and spoke to him.

- I hope that this time you will allow us to have our say in the matter, and that you will think carefully about the decision.

- I understand that, and I am open to hear all your ideas on the matter, and to take all your opinions into account in weighing my decision. But I also have to bear in mind that I will have to live with the consequences of my decision, whether I go or not, - Ruslan looked determinedly at his family, and added. - If I go, I expose myself to danger again, I understand that, and I accept it. Though I bear in mind the burden it will put on you. But if I do not go, and leave behind me a man in distress and his sister, who has come to the point of begging for help. Then I couldn't even look at myself in the mirror, it would go against everything I believe in and all the values you brought me up with.

- Why do you say that, son? - his father asked.

- Because you taught me that we must help those who ask for our help, even if it burdens us. We should do it because it is the right thing to do.

- I don't think it's right for you to use our upbringing as an argument to get your own way, - his mother joked. - How could you be so self-sacrificing as to get into trouble?

- Mother, it's a natural gift I have, - said Ruslan with a lopsided smile.

- He's always been like that. Ever since he was a boy, he always got into trouble if it was for a just cause, - said Catherine. - But if you go, make sure you take proper care of yourself this time.

Jack nodded at his older sister's affirmation. Constance, who had been mostly silent, despite her usual loquacity, suddenly stood up.

- There is nothing to be afraid of, - she said vehemently, and, striking her fist on her chest at the level of her heart, added. - I will go with him, and prevent him from doing anything foolish.

- Isn't it rather the other way round? - Ruslan said with amusement.

All the Drakes and Connie herself burst out laughing. His mother stood up and ran her hand through Ruslan's hair.

- I won't stop you, if that's what your heart tells you to do, but try not to give us another scare like last year.

- I wouldn't dream of it, - said Ruslan, taking his mother's hand in his. - You have suffered enough because of me. This time I only want to help, not fight.

- Sometimes you can't choose one thing without the other Ruslan, - said his father philosophically. - But be careful no matter what comes up.

Ruslan nodded, and Connie seconded. After a somewhat more pleasant after-dinner conversation, they retired to their rooms to rest.

Ruslan began to dream of the past.

The sniper's gunfire was mowing down his soldiers, the screams and detonations were clouding his mind, the sand was red with the blood of his fellow soldiers, a tank appeared in the windblown dust, someone was calling for help, Ruslan was running with Connie at his side towards the voice crying for help. The tank fired, and an explosion lit up the desert. Suddenly a guillotine slammed into his shoulder, this time he could see how it severed his arm, almost like a series of photographs. He fell to the ground, looked at Connie and watched as she crawled away leaving a river of blood behind her, from her torn leg. He tried to get up, but he didn't have enough support, and when he did, he saw another guillotine hit him in the head.

At that moment Ruslan woke abruptly, covered in cold sweat, gasping for breath, his heart pumping as if it would burst out of his chest, causing a pounding sensation in his temples and neck.

- Damn it, - he mumbled quietly to himself, he would not be able to sleep that night.

The same dream often tormented him, so he followed his routine of those sleepless nights. He put on a dressing gown and left his room. As he descended the stairs to the hall, he saw that the light in the kitchens was on.

"The cook and the butler leave at nightfall and don't return until morning, who's up at this hour?" thought Ruslan.

As he entered the kitchen, he saw his sister Cathe. She was sitting on a stool by the cooker with a steaming mug in her hands.

- Cathe, what are you doing awake? - Ruslan asked from the kitchen doorway.

The sudden question startled his sister, who almost spilled the liquid from the cup as she startled and turned towards the door.

- Ruslan! Don't give me those scares, will you? - she said, holding her hand to her chest at the level of her heart. - I almost had a heart attack.

- I'm sorry, - Ruslan replied, and approaching his sister asked. - Coffee or tea?

- Coffee, - she replied sparingly, and added ruefully, - I don't want to have to go back to sleep tonight.

- I think I could use some myself, - he said, approaching the pot on the cooker.

- Do you want to talk about it?

- No, I really don't. I don't want to scare you.

- Too late, - Cathe replied ruefully.

Her brother put his cup down on the counter, picked up another stool and sat down next to his older sister.

- All right, let's talk about it, - said Ruslan, putting his hand on her arm affectionately. - It might do me some good, too.

His sister smiled and returned the gesture of affection by placing her hand on her younger brother's. She took his mug in both hands and put it in his mouth. She took a light sip, took a deep breath and turned to Ruslan.

- I have nightmares. Horrible dreams where I see you die, where I run to you and when you turn around, I see you shattered, - she said on the verge of tears, her shoulders shaking.

Ruslan put down his cup and hugged his sister until she stopped shaking. He had never thought about how much it might have affected his family to see her injuries.

- Don't worry, - he said reassuringly. - I'm still alive, and I'm back in one piece. You have nothing to fear.

She smiled at him, but her eyes were still glazed over.

- But now you're going away again, - she said. - To a place where you could get hurt, even killed.

- I know, - he said, and his left hand twitched over his mug. - And believe me, it scares me to even think about it.

Cathe turned in surprise to her brother and saw real dread on his face. She had always thought he wasn't afraid of anything, since she was a child, he had always protected her, even though she was the eldest of her siblings, Ruslan had always been the one who had guarded her from all danger with an undaunted look and a determined gesture. It was the first time she had seen him afraid of anything.

- What happened in Sudan? - his sister asked. - Since you've been back, I've noticed you've changed, I hear how sometimes at night you get up and go down to the garden or the kitchen. I see how you look at Connie sometimes, as if you feel guilty about her situation. What's tormenting you?

- You always got me at first Cathe, - answered Ruslan. - I could never hide anything from you, you read me like an open book.

- You can tell me, I'm tougher than I look.

Ruslan looked at Catherine, the steadiness of his sister's gaze was all he needed to see to believe her words. Ruslan slumped his shoulders, leaned back against the counter and ducked his head.

- What scares me is not just getting hurt again, - he said ruefully, and added, looking at his sister with a melancholy gaze. - I fear I will again cause the death of those who follow me.

- What do you mean?

- In the desert, the day we were ambushed, I was responsible for the welfare of all the men and women under my command. My orders put them in danger, and many died.

- That was not your fault.

- Connie lost her leg because she was following me. I was running towards a tanker truck to rescue the driver, thinking of nothing else; as usual. Connie followed me, everyone always followed me. It was my fault that she ended up like that, and I.... - Ruslan paused as he felt his right arm. - I brought this on myself.

Cathe took her brother's face in her hands and forced him to look her in the eye. Her gaze, still misty with tears, showed a burning fire of determination and resolve.

- Ruslan, listen to me, it wasn't your fault, - the vehemence with which his sister spoke those words struck a chord with Ruslan, his sister continued. - Connie and the rest of your soldiers followed you because they believed in you. And I am more than sure that none of them would regret doing so, not even those who did not survive. You have always done the right thing, even if it wasn't the easiest, or the most popular. You have always acted as you should have acted, never doubting yourself. I know that well. I've known you forever. You're my brother, and always... always!... You've done the right thing.

Ruslan's left eye began to mist over, Cathe had always managed to cheer him up. She had always taken care of him since he was a child. She had always been there for him when he needed her. She was his big sister, and she would always be on his side.

- Thank you, Cathe, - Ruslan said with a smile, it was the first time he'd managed to smile normally since he'd been hurt in the face.

- And now drink your coffee before it gets cold, - his older sister said protectively.

She hugged him and he put his right arm around her shoulders. Dawn was breaking and the first rays of sunlight were streaming through the windows of Drake Manor.