20

It has been three weeks since I've seen Daniel. They've been complete hell!

Even though Kyle has been here and spending more time with me. I spoke to him about how him being friends with his ex unsettled me but instead of listening, he just wanted to undress me and 'make me feel good.' We've been doing a lot of that lately; it's almost the only thing we do lately.

I really look forward to my best friend's return. I get along better with him than with Kyle. It's been days since I've spoken to Daniel; he travelled to visit his parents and didn't return my calls. He's the only one that makes me feel heard, and I miss him terribly. Kyle can't handle deep conversations -- he always tries to get me naked when I bring something up.

It was just a little over eight when I decided to clean up after watching a few shows while I finished dinner. My mood was dampened by Kyle, who yet again, came over to 'get some' and then said he had to go somewhere.

I tied the trash bag and took the stairs to the first floor. I went outside and walked around the complex, looking for the big green drum. After throwing my trash in, I turned around and headed back to my room, waving to the security guard as I pressed the elevator buttons and waited for it to come already.

I slow down and furrow my eyebrows when I see that my apartment's door is half closed. I was sure I locked it behind me. I walk in cautiously, reaching for my bat to protect myself against the intruder.

Footsteps are heard coming from my room and I stand behind the door, prepared to attack. Did Kyle maybe come back? No, he never does. Especially without calling ahead. When someone's shadow comes into view from around the corner, I swing my bat and hit the person's head as hard as I could. He curses, spinning around to look at me.

My eyes soften and I drop the bat, feeling guilty for a millisecond before I grin and jump on top of him. He smiles, catching me and placing his hands under my ass to hold me up. "Daniel! You're back?!"

"That was a pretty interesting way to welcome someone," he chuckles, holding me tighter as he started spinning me around. I chuckle and hold tightly onto him.

Then I get emotional and feel tears roll down my cheeks. I try not to sniffle because he'll know I'm crying and what would I say then?

He puts me down and hugs me again. I feel him take a deep breath in, almost like he's finally at peace. I niftily wipe my tears away and clear my throat. "You're early. I thought you had a couple more weeks before you were due to come back?"

He scratches the back of his neck and avoids looking in my direction as he says, "Maybe I just wanted an excuse to see you again. What happened?" he asks gently as he caresses my face.

"I'm really happy you're here. Things have been difficult to deal with." I hint on the fact that Kyle and I aren't on the best of terms. Him and his mom are becoming difficult to handle.

"I'm sorry I didn't come sooner. I missed you like crazy," he smiles sweetly and I just stare at him. He got more handsome, if that's even possible. Or maybe it's because it's been long since I last saw him.

"At least you're here now," I exhale, feeling content.

"How about we order food and watch Rapunzel?"

"Yes, finally something is back to normal," I joke as I walk towards the kitchen telephone. A part of me is telling me that things are about to change, but another is telling me to stick with my initial goal.

"I've been stuck in Europe with my parents. I spoke so much about you that they asked me to bring you with me next time," he says with a light chuckle.

"I'd love to meet them," I say honestly. Then I remember something. "Wait, how did you get in?"

"I have your extra keys," he says in a 'duh' tone.

*

"I fail to understand why you're still with that douche. He doesn't seem to appreciate you at all," he says sourly after I tell him everything. Without going into detail about the sex part. There's nothing much to say there any way.

"That douche is still my boyfriend," I say with an eye-roll.

"Why are you still with him?" he suddenly asks, and I feel like all the air has been sucked out of my lungs. I seriously do not know. I ask myself that same question every time I see him. And for some reason, I never break up with him. I hold onto the thin thread of hope that things will get better.

"I'd treat you so much better," he says softly after my silence, staring into my eyes. I gulp and look down at our intertwined hands.

"That's why you're my best friend," I say, my voice almost a whisper.

My heart breaks when he lowers his head and takes a gulp of his beer. I watch his Adam's apple bobble up and down, and how he closes his eyes with a long sigh. He rests his head on the couch and exhales deeply, his mind probably racing with a thousand thoughts.

I stare at him and for a split second, I imagine a life with Daniel instead. I won't lie and say the thought doesn't cross my mind every so often, but I never entertain it. Tonight, I hold onto it, let it simmer on my mind and swirl around.

And the images are beautiful.

My hand reaches out to touch his cheek and he opens his eyes, looking right at me so intently, I almost back down. His brows furrow and he squeezes my hand. My fingers linger on the corner of his mouth and guilt tugs at my chest; I don't want to be unfaithful to Kyle.

But am I really being unfaithful if Kyle doesn't even give me the time of day? Daniel is here with me. He cut his trip short to come back and see me. He listens to me when I talk. And he understands me when I'm quiet.

Kyle doesn't even make my heart race and flutter beneath my ribcage. Daniel does that. All and more.

I brush my fingers through the hair at the back of his neck as I ponder on what I feel like doing. I move the blanket aside and lift my one leg over Daniel's lap, straddling him. He puts his hands on my waist, holding me in place as his eyes are locked with mine.

I wrap my arms around his neck and slowly lower my head, placing a quick, soft kiss on his lips.

Full.

Plump.

Soft.

Sweet.

I pull back and look at him, failing to read his expression. Maybe I'm wrong for kissing him. Maybe I overstepped a bound-

I didn't have time to finish thinking because he pulls me flash against him, reconnecting our lips. His hand goes into my hair as he sucks on my bottom lip, kissing me with urgency, yet tantalisingly slow.

Real.

Intimate.

Better.

Seductive.

The kiss turns from a slow one to a passionate make out real soon, and before I know it, his tongue was brushing against mine. He was asserting dominance and I wrapped my arms around his neck and let followed his lead. I groaned as our tongues touched and his fingers dipped into my skin.

We pulled back moments later, my heart racing and by the feel of my hand on his chest, his was racing faster. Never have I been kissed that roughly, and I am ashamed to admit I enjoyed it.

"I'm sorry," he whispers after a few seconds of catching his breath.

"What for? Did you not like it?" I ask. Did he regret it? I'd never live down the shame.

"I did, a lot. But I know that you don't want to end your relationship."

I can only nod.

"But I know you enough to know you wouldn't have done that if you really cared about him," he tells me. "What are you playing at?"

I hug him, my head going in the crook of his neck. His smell is causing a zoo of butterflies to erupt in my stomach. He wraps his arms around my waist and breathes me in.

"I don't know what to do," I admit.

"I can't tell you what to do. It would be selfish," he says, and pauses. I turn my head to look at him, waiting for him to continue. "But I don't want to have a little bit of you. I want you all to myself, Tess. I don't think I can keep on just being friends with you."

I think about what he's saying for a minute. I honestly have no hope left with Kyle and I, but I just can't let him go. Not when I'm this close to finally-

"What are you thinking about?"

"I'll break up with him tomorrow," I say, surprised by how sure I sound.

"Don't do that, Tess. I don't want you to regret anything a few days or weeks later."

"We live and we learn," I shrug, pressing myself closer to him and laying my head on his cheek as I think of how to accomplish my goal now that my direction has changed.