Some light

Chapter 21

Felix

I led my men across the town and along the shores of the lake on the east border of the pack lands. The paws of my warriors pounded against the ground like thunder echoing the beat of my own heart.

It was an hour later that we stopped at the warehouse that haunted my vision when I passed out. My wolf tells me she is in there.

I feel encouraged.

But I don’t know how long she’ll last being alive.

I bolted forward not affording to wait long when I busted through the door with my men in tow. His men stood alert in seconds shifting into wolves the second they saw us. I didn’t wait for a dramatic stare down and launched into the air lunging at the first monster that had Crystal’s scent.

Then all I saw was red as I ripped wolves limp from limp.

Look for mate!!! My wolf begged and pleaded as I tore apart another bastard. My anger turned to panic as I searched the large war filled room hoping for a scent of my mate. The air reeked of blood. Her scent was washed out and it was driving me crazy.

Go, Felix look for her. Jordan and I will handle the rest.

Blake broke through the mind link and his coffee colored wolf nodded me off and got back into action. The fighting was intense. Wolf bodies flew in the air as I ran past and under the chaos.

Crystal has to be in here somewhere. I am certain of it.

A door broke open revealing the man I had been tracking and keeping Crystal away from. His muscles flexed under his tank top and his jaw clenched sharply as he saw me. The pitch black abyss in his eyes started at me ready for the kill. I had never fully understood his intentions with her and that alone made me an insane mess.

I knew I had to be tactical to actually get through that door he walked out of. My sense of logic rushed away as soon as my eyes locked on his teeth as he snarled at me. There was blood and I could smell for sure that it wasn’t his.

My wolf lunged straight for his throat knocking him off his feet and stumbling into the room that ached my heart the most.

He had a metal grip on my paws but the surge of raging adrenaline kept mine stronger. His face tuned pale but his eyes kept strong.

He struggled beneath me as I held his throat with an iron grip. My claws dug into his pathetic flesh watching his eyes roll to the back of his head. His body turned limp and I tossed it away.

My nose twitched in the air and I winced. There was blood and a whole pool of it. I couldn’t stop my whimper when I gazed at the bloodied body hanging above it.

Her long legs were bruised red and blue and the black dress she had on was shredded at her waist with a deep claw scratch. Her back was arched front in a painful angle and her head fell before her limp and lifeless. Her long blood stained locks hid her face from me.

I cried.

I shifted back to my human form not giving a damn that I was stark naked then I approached her. I held her to me gently and snapped the chains that bound her allowing her fall into my arms.

I brushed away the locks from her face and the tears just spewed like a broken dam. Her cheek was so red it look like he bit a chunk of it. Her right eye was glued shut and her left one lay half open gazing at nothing.

A howl escaped my chest as I hugged her body close to me begging for a little pulse in her neck to let me know she is alive.

I placed two fingers at her neck praying silently.

I sighed in relief and agony that there was a weak pulse. With that thought on my mind I carried her in my arms and got out of there.

If she makes it through this, I promise to tell her everything from the moment I met her. Every damn detail.

**

Crystal.

The truck collision felt way better than this. The stab wound was a pinch compared to the pain of a thousand more throbbing my body.

My eyes snapped open in a flash and they too started throbbing. It was like the volume of my pain had been increased to infinity in a flash.

Damn.

I cried out.

The white flashing light in my face had me blinking in and out of consciousness and I was sure I had that damn beeping noise of the monitor accelerate and get louder. I am in hospital for the third time!!!

This isn’t cheating death. This is robbing it of its right to take me away. Why the hell am I still alive??

A touch on my palm had me stilling in an instant yet calming down as an incision was made in my left wrist. The pain calmed down. And I relaxed thankful to the angel my eyes couldn’t register for solving the problem.

“Where am I?”

I croaked out and I immediately regretted it when my jaw too started vibrating with pain. Mr. Boss man did a good job at destroying every functional part of my body didn’t he?

My white angel disappeared and another one appeared yet this one wasn’t in white. He was more tanned and I think that’s a blue shirt he is wearing.

“You are in the hospital,” he whispered. I really blinked a couple more times to get the image of his face clearer but it really wasn’t working.

A glass grazed my lips gently and I found myself sipping slowly at the water in it. I couldn’t have me throat bitching at me too.

“Thanks.” I said finally able to get a word out clearly. My sight seemed to settle and I realized that I could only look through one eye. And that’s when I felt a huge bandage sit on my righty.

The large muscular body stayed watching me as I looked up gently from his abs to his chin and finally his eyes and stifled a little gasp. It was Felix. His eyes looked so watery I couldn’t help but raise my eye brow at him, provide that’s still intact.

“Were you crying?” I asked hoping to scare him off or something by pissing him off. He however lowered into a seat closer to me and held my palm in his.

“Yes,” he confessed, “I was.”

So he cared about me. Or maybe was feeling guilty. No let me just believe that he cared about me. Yes that is what I will go with.

“So you saved me?” I asked just to make sure.

“No, I had tons of help from the guys,” he chuckled humorlessly, “I just wish I found you sooner,”

Then there was silence. Awkward silence. Or painful silence. Is there a difference?

“I am sorry.” He blurted out and I held my breath for a moment. Did he just…apologize?

“I really am terrible at this stuff,” he muttered more to himself than me, “I am a selfish ass hole.”

I cleared my throat and that got his attention and I gave him the gentlest smile my jaws could handle.

“Considering I have almost died four times I don’t think I have any more room for grudges so I forgive you.” I told him blinking my eye twice in salute. I hope he caught that.

I sighed comfortably assuming he was getting ready to leave but he didn’t.

“So... I am guessing that you have more to say?” I blurted out. I figured since I almost died…again. I am gonna make sure that this chance of life that has been restored to me that I am gonna be as blunt as possible. People need to know how I am feeling and what I want to say as it is. No silence. Just boldness.

You only live once.

He cleared his throat and took in a shaky breath.

“The others are outside waiting for me to finally have the balls to do this,” he starts, “just so you know you were out for about three days after your surgeries were done. And I hope you listen to me. I am gonna tell you everything like I should have done from the day I first saw you.”

“I have always notice you in the hallways way before that project. I knew you were my mate the second I turned eighteen. You being human didn’t sit well with my ego and I just couldn’t accept it. I avoided ever meeting you after that. I changed classes and my schedule so that I couldn’t bump into you and that was until that semester began where schedules were fixed and I had no way to fix it,” he sighed, “I got through most of it by staying at the back of the class in that one class we had together. You seemed to be in your own world half the time and despite my efforts I couldn’t help but look at you. I memorized your side profile like the back of my hand unable to help myself.”

He paused glancing at me as if asking for permission to continue and I nodded.

“Well, with that group assignment, I knew I was screwed. When you sat right there so close to me. Your scent hit me rock hard and I was battling with my wolf just to keep him from taking you there. Your blond locks flew in front of your face so softly I wanted to go through them and the way your lips moved so gracefully had me crumbling in seconds. I hated the effect of the mate pull. I hated that you made me feel so weak.”

I swallowed the lump that started growing in my throat the second I felt the weight of his words. Damn. For being his mate he really didn’t like wanting me.

“At the library when I cornered you that day I planned on rejecting you.” he said my breath hitched.

“I stood before you and watched you pick out those books. At that moment I felt like I was doing both of us a favor but when you turned,” he whispered, “your eyes just captured me and held me back for every single thought I ever had and I felt defeated. I just couldn’t find it in me to do it.”

My eyebrow raised in confusion and he caught it and he sighed raking through his hair in frustration.

“I know I sound pathetic believe me I hear it too now that I am actually saying it aloud.”

He groaned pacing the room so fast I was wondering if he wanted to throw up or give me a dizzy spell from watching him for so long.

“I had so many opportunities to do it but I cowered away then you got stabbed and the need to be with you and protect you grew stronger because I couldn’t stop that from happening. Having you in my house at that time and watching you made me feel comfortable and okay knowing you were alright. Once you got conscious again, I bolted because the coward in me couldn’t stand to be with you.”

“Then your parents died and I knew I didn’t want to hurt you more. I found out all about your history through your files at the police and…

“You felt pity.” I finished for him and he bowed his head in shame.

“I didn’t want to cause you more pain,” he admitted, “I finally manned up to actually talk to you without sounding like a total dick.”

His eyes locked with my own after he stopped pacing and my heart just did a double take at the intensity of that night in the grass where we first had a conversation.

“It was the best night of my life actually hearing your voice directed at me instead of eavesdropping on your conversations to actually get a chance to hear It.” he laughed humorlessly.

“Blake and Jordan knew for a fact that you were my mate and really helped me out in trying to spend some time with you.” his voice quieted down as he looked away from me.

“Lola and the guys convinced me to come to the pool with you guys so I could get another chance to talk to you.”

He groaned as his fists clenched and his eyes shifted from blue to darker shades then back again.

“You walked out of that changing room in the most tempting piece of clothing I have ever seen any other girl wear. But on you it looked so freaking sexy. I knew you were too perfect for me to have.”

“I left and threw out my frustration on one of the bell girls that batted eyelashes at me.” He confessed, “I felt dirty and appalled I couldn’t stand myself when I forgot that my mating with someone else would hurt you too.

I gulped as I listened unable to forget that tremendous pain that rocked my body.

“If it wasn’t for me you wouldn’t have had to leave early and you wouldn’t have been in that crash.” he said running a hand down his face in embarrassment.

“I couldn’t stand myself after that. I couldn’t look at you without feeling guilty so I pushed myself even farther away.”

My lip was trembling at this point and I didn’t want any tears hurting my wounds so I fought them back hard.

“When you left, I broke and I had no idea how to fix it. I screwed up and I wanted to just go and apologize to you honestly but you were in heat and it increased my need for you more than I want to admit. I couldn’t stand you being far away. That attempted hit drove me to take you away.”

Then I made the final decision to leave after I learned what was going on. Before he could go on narrating his side of the story I stopped him.

“You don’t have to say any more.” I whispered felling betrayed by my own voice.

“You are confused. That is very understandable,” I told him laboring my breath with each intake to keep myself from crying, “I was too. This mate thing is quite hard to figure out and I don’t blame you.”

“Too much has happened to let me know that life is too short,” I continued, “you only live once.” I muttered to myself.

“Are you giving me a chance?” he asked.

“No.” I deadpanned and he paled.

“I am giving us a new start. It’s clear you are scared and I am terrified too but there is still a lot on my past that I don’t understand and currently I don’t know who I am any more and what I want.” I sighed as he nodded in understanding.

“So why not take things slow and start as friends.”

He bit his lip in contemplation while studying me and I resisted the urge to squirm under his gaze. Pfft. Like I would be able to anyway.

“Friends?” I asked hopefully.

“Friends.”

And I couldn’t be any more comfortable with the reassuring grin that conquered his face.