Escaping

Weekend went on a blur. I stopped calling or texting Raja. But he had called me many times but I didn't pick up. It felt like a fraud. I was too broken inside. The face off with Ravi and then later didn't do me any good. Though Rocky understood me better than myself. But I had to lie to him about Raja. I was afraid he was going to fight him. I couldn't have that. He shouldn't have lost anymore because of me. I will continue to live him for the rest of my life but I couldn't spend my time with him. I will call hard and be more hurt than before. I can't have that. I'm hanging by a thread anyway. I can't handle nay more pushes emotional or otherwise.

"You don't look good", said Rita.

"I know”, I told her barely looking at her.

" What happened? ",she asked me again.

" I don't want to talk about it", I told her again.

"Alright. How was your first time?", she asked me.

"Good", I said.

"Just good. I thought he will do better than that", she told me.