I'm Still Standing

The darkness retained its grip around Jamal, as if he still wasn't used to it. Time had no meaning here, as he couldn't tell how long it had been since the talk with his shadow self. Not like that was the most daunting issue, as out of nowhere was he slowly losing control of his body. 

It was subtle at first, as it was a soft tingling feeling in his toes, before the feeling was lost. It stretched from there through his legs, chest, past his arms and legs, before reaching to his neck as of now. He couldn't even tell if he was floating through the space or just standing still, but it wasn't important in the slightest.

Where was his personal shadow when he needed it, Jamal wished he had some company again. All he could remember was what it told him. Let himself be ready for Ula. It made little sense at first as to what it meant, but when a guy has a lot of time to self-reflect, things begin to click. Overcoming death wasn't easy, but he had the ability to come out of it. At least, usually, he did, unlike this time. 

But every second that did go by, could he not help but have her voice stuck in his head, Ula's. He could practically hear her soothing him down after another day working in the city, before their expansion. It would have been just the two of them, with their kids asleep in separate rooms. Every time she would caress his skin, it gave him comfort as Jamal could vividly imagine every detail about her. 

Out of nowhere, a slow liquid was moving across his face, as Jamal couldn't tell where it was coming from. He could barely move his head, as an attempt to look around showed nothing coming towards him. Was he really crying, after all this time here? Had he not had enough in life? 

Unable to wipe his tears, Jamal couldn't help but feel something deep within. Perhaps he kept it hidden for some time, but this emotion wasn't hatred out of all things. He truly hated it here, even though he wanted to quit. He knew that no matter what, even if his body was failing him, his mind would not let him. Of course, he finally figured it out now. That emotion was his last bit of strength, where he had the choice to live or die.

Jamal wanted it all to end, as he could have let it go. If it wasn't for the fact that Youden wouldn't have stopped at just him. He would come for Ula and his kids, friends, the entire city, and the world, and destroy it all. All for his personal gain, with everything built taken away. Could he just die and leave them to suffer like that? No, he didn't even have to think of the answer to that. 

While in thought, Jamal could slowly feel his neck muscles loosing up, as a sharp unbearable pain came through. He wanted to scream out, although his body wouldn't let him. This pain was temporary, he pushed through, as he was slowly gaining control of his arms and hands. It felt as if electricity was sparking throughout his insides, as the parts he was able to move were twitching erratically. Breathing heavily, Jamal managed to feel for the ground, as he concluded that he was lying on his back the entire time. That was good at least. 

Even as the pain intensified, he focused on getting control of his body, as the energy shifted down to his legs. It was here where it was excruciating, as he could finally roar in his suffering. His teeth flared in response, as Jamal could practically claw at the ground to alleviate some of the tension. Even with the little it did, he still had one thing in mind. The world still needed him, and he wasn't that easy to lose now. He remembered his promise to Ula that he'd be the one to finish Youden. The time for any more mercy was done with, as those relishing thoughts let the pain finally subside out of his body.

Now, he could think clearly, as Jamal was able to finally stand. Taking just a few cautious steps showed that he could still walk normally, as something caught his eye. Turning in that direction, he could see some light slowly invading the space, as the world around him was slowly getting blurry. Jamal didn't even try to fight it, as he simply took calm breaths, hoping it took him where he needed to be. Else all he did was in vain, but refused to go without a fight at the very least. If he couldn't give his all out in the real world again, so be it, but at least he came out on top here, for no one but himself to know.