My Own Place

"In the name of the father, and of the son, and of the holy spirit. Amen."

Said father after we prayed in front of our breakfast. This is one of the things that I detest this kind of things. Doing this or that doesn't guarantee that you'll go to heaven when you die. Also, no one's ever really saw if there's heaven nor hell.

Yeah… I just complain in my head while waiting for them to finish placing foods in their plates. Why? To entertain myself. Why can't I just scroll on my phone while waiting for them? Well, because of the f***ing rule called 'no phones allowed during meals'. Sucks, right?

Why do I have to return? I'd rather stay in my dream wherever it is. I'd rather spend my whole life living happily than to suffer and be tortured by these monsters that keeps on hurting me.

"Don't forget to do your chores after breakfast."

Said father to us as soon as he finished while looking at me and my younger sister.

"Yes, father."

Answered both me and my younger sister to our father without even looking at him. Ugh. I lost my appetite eating breakfast. What a great mood to start the day.

I want to get the hell out of here. I want to have my own place where I can do whatever I want whenever I want. At least in that place, I'll be able to write so many stories without anyone disturbing me when I'm writing.

I can't wait to have my own place. There'll be no one to make me lose my temper. There'll be no one to make me feel horrible because of myself. At least in my own place, I can heal and take care of myself the way I can't do while I'm still living under this hell of a prison.

"Do you plan on finishing your breakfast until lunchtime, huh?!"

Asked my mother furiously to me while she's now standing in front of the sink while glaring at me. I can't even eat peacefully. What a great morning indeed.

"No, mother."

I answered to mother as I finished eating my breakfast. I quickly got up from the chair and brought the plate and other utensils that I used to the sink without looking at my mother.

If only I be able to make money right now only by writing stories, I'll be able to earn money in no time and I'll also be able to get the hell out of here as soon as possible.

I'll happily fly to South Korea and there I shall stay. I'll rent a studio type apartment in Busan. It's okay if it's small, the most important is that I feel comfortable living in there and I can pay the rent. I'll be so happy if the studio type apartment that I'll choose is at the rooftop. I'll be able to stargazing happily under the night sky while drinking soju.

I'll be able to rest all I want, take care of myself thoroughly, write the next chapters of my stories in peace and I'll be able to get through the day without anyone disturbing me in my me time. I would love to experience all of those in my own place but… yeah… but I will have to wait a long time before that happens.

"Ella, go clean the front yard."

Ordered father to me as soon as he enters the house from the front door. What the f**k? What the hell did you do this time? Why must I always clean the mess you've made?

"Yes. Father."

I replied without even looking at him as I walk towards the side door for us not to meet half way. Why are the days took so long to end? I guess that's how it is when you don't spend the time happily. Yeah… I guess that's the reason.

Argh! Why can't the day fast forward!? I just want to go back to sleep already! I want to feel free. I want to be happy even if it's only at night. I want to get away from here even if it's only in my imagination. I just want to breath without thinking about anything else but myself and my well-being. I just want to be selfish at least once in this lifetime.

So… here I am… cleaning up the leaves and the other messes that you could think of at the front yard that our great father left to me. Such a great father, right? Ugh… why do people like him exist in this freaking world? The world's better off without them in it. Wow… such a mess.

Once I get my own place, it'll be as clean as I want it to be. There'll only be little messes because of my hobbies connected with art. You know what? From now on… I'll start filling myself with art. At least whenever I make something connected to art, even if it's written or drawn or painted… I feel free even if it was only a specific time. And yes. I am thinking these things in my head while cleaning up the front yard.

To be honest, ever since I turned 15… these thoughts of living alone on my own keeps popping up in my mind from time to time. Then when I turned 18… there's no day have passed that I haven't think of living on my own in my own place.

God! Having a front yard need so much maintenance and energy! I hate it! Why do they have to pick a house with a front yard!? It's not like it's giving us a huge advantage!? I seriously don't like cleaning the messes of others! I mean, why must I be the one responsible in someone else's mess when they're the ones who made the mess, not me!

Ah, forget it. No one's going to listen to me anyway. What's the point of complaining and getting angry then sad when there's no one who will comfort you? I better learn how to comfort myself because there are times that no one wants to comfort others for they're busy comforting themselves.