A Juda Story

As a child, in one of the many Foster homes the orphanage dumped me in I witnessed such abuse. I was too young to know what was happening though I felt the pain as the victim, another orphan girl in her teen succumbed to oblivion.

I had fallen ill right after that, being who I am, traumatized by what I saw and what that girl channelled through me, ignited something. A necessary evil, in short, about a week later I killed him with a wooden stick in his behind, poetic justice. 

Rachel's Ex-Bf was standing with his click at the back entrance of the school. He was joking and acting the very fool he was. I gave him a tap on the shoulder, he turned around with a gangster stare (Bonteheuwel dimwit). Well, that stare didn't last long because I punched him in the face, breaking his nose, his friends tried to counter but then again, I used it, I compelled them to back off and so they had done.

"Yeah, you sucker, the thing you hard huh!?", I bellowed. In a matter of seconds, we were surrendered by other learners who were instigating the fight. This was my moment, I always wanted to say this, "You! And you! You think you can do this and get away with it, I will have your ass locked in Pelican's BAY. Twenty-four-hour lockdown, shoe program nigga. Who the f8$k do you think you are messing with the virtue of an innocent, nigga. King Kong, ain't got sh#t on me!", I bellowed as I grabbed the dude from the hem of his collar to the back entrance gate as he struggled to keep on his feet. 

"I den done nothing to you, what kind!?", he asked as he gritted his teeth, blood trickling from his nose stained the asphalt, "you don't now! You don't!? Then you better ask sum-buddy", I replied while dropping him against the back-entrance gate. Blood spat out of his mouth as he collapsed against the corrugated fence BUT I was not done.  I had fun beating the idiot and by the time I was done ̶ 

Jk: my bruh... I'm gonna tell you what you going to do. You gonna go right now to the police station and hand yourself in for a rape attempt. 

Ex-bf: what kind with you!? 

Jk: do I have to repeat myself! 

Ex-bf: ny man, I'll do it! 

The idiot stood up with difficulty, barely managed to jump over the locked gate, and disappeared around the corner. Members of the gang he belonged to rushed in to avenge him but those of the same feather held them back. I gazed at the gang, my disdainful scorn required no words, I was daring them to try it.

The day went by fast, after the second interval I had two periods of Mathematics which was fun especially when you have a mathematics teacher like mine. Mr Armstrong was one of those teachers who had taught in the same school for over four decades, a thin body figure with a large stomach, grey hair and a 90s MC Hammer Can't Touch This swagger.

Mr Armstrong who was also a deputy headmaster was one of the remaining pioneers at Spes Bona, you could always expect to learn something new besides Algebra in his classroom. This one time he wrote a mathematical sum so long that there was no more space on the blackboard, he started writing on the walls… all four walls. 

"Ous Jy, Kufu! Jou P&$&s", goaded Ashwin Davids, a Stupa recruit who set behind me. "Are you referring to your mother's, because I was thinking of giving you a younger brother? Son", I goaded back. Ashwin stood up abruptly with his fists closed. Mr Armstrong had left for the secretary and there was no adult supervision to keep Ashwin alive. I was going to sparkle clean the board with his face, make a final example to get the Stupas off my back.

Unfortunately, I could hear Mrs Sahir's voice in my head advising me about "attitude". As much as I wanted to grind the dude I would not go against Mrs Sahir's advice. I looked at him disdainfully, the silence in the classroom as learners watched eagerly. It was like the Grand Classico; the silence was instigating enough. I spoke to him while sitting as a sign of dominance.

 "Sit down before I break your face, junior…", I compelled him. Ashwin dropped to his sit bewildered by his submission. The entire class was in greater awe. Mr Armstrong walked in and noticed the unusual silence. He was about to ask, what had occurred in his absence though he knew he would not have received an honest answer. 

"Right then... as I was ̶", the final siren for the school day sounded. Much as I enjoyed maths, I always felt better when the final bell rang and so had the rest of my schoolmates.

The hallways were always jammed with learners rushing to leave the school premises as soon as possible and that made it hard for the mediators to maintain order. As usual, I had made it to the stoop in one piece, the mob was lesser there as it led the lot to the back-entrance gate and outside the school. As I stood on the stoop, Learners passed by giving mixed feelings from appreciation to trepidation. Others, as they passed gave me a gangster sign, the "I will get you sign". Pointing their index finger at me. 

I had passed the prefabs taking a corner that led to the basketball court and suddenly, "Kufu! Kufu! Darling!", someone shouted from behind, I turned to see who it was and not to my surprise it was Lerato Madikani the editor of Spes Voice, the school's newspaper. "What do you want this time, Madikani?", I asked in annoyance, "what I usually want. Me and you in the hall dressing room, darling", She teased. "I'm not in the mood for the satirical humour", I said as I continued for the exit.

"Meet me next week on Monday after school", said Lerato, "what for?", I asked, "an interview. You have been a rebel here since grade 8 and now you are closing a chapter here and moving off. So, I and the school want to know how you kept this reputation for five years and you've never gotten expelled plus the fight earlier today, how heroic though stupid at the same time. Taking on a Stupa on Stupa territory.", replied Lerato. "I have done favours for the American Street Gang. Stupa can't touch me". I explained. 

"Show me your flag then", "I don't represent the set nor its constitution", I said as I removed her hand from the hem of my school shirt. "You can tell me more on Monday", she winked, "fine but let me be after it", I said, "it's a date. Enjoy the weekend darling, oh, here comes your hot mom", she smiled and left to join her click who stood juxtaposed to the hall's back entrance.

Here comes your hot mom, was more than enough to say; Mrs Sahir was on her way. It was uncommon for her to grace this part of the school. There was no need for her to say anything, her facial expression, her gesture, and body language had done all the talking. Mrs Sahir was absolutely, furious. "What do you have to say?", she fumed. 

"I was standing up for someone, other than myself… that's progress, right?", I tried yet to no avail. "I was defending a girl... women's rights? Treat a lady with respect? Huh?", I frowned. "You cute. The next time you fight I will ground you", she said with a mirthful smile. "Enjoy your weekend, Miss Sahir", "Thank you, I wish you the same", she left for the staff room.

Taxis were parked outside the school and if you are wondering if I am referring to your typical New York yellow cab or your London Black taxi then no I am not. I'm talking about your Cape Town flavoured Toyota Hiace and Quantum, modified in every way possible.

Unlike your average cab, these taxi companies owned cool names ranging from Dark Child to Conspiracy, and unlike your classic Black taxi silently driving in the streets of London, these bad boys were loud with no mercy, like too Loud Too Furious which, was an attraction for Coloureds since they commonly used taxis as a means of transportation. 

A taxi titled Play Boy with a blue Bunny sign played an old school jam, Deborah Cox, No Body's Supposed To Be Here the dance version which turned the exit into a jol (party). 

I noticed the narcissistic Angolan wannabe Malcolm X with a friend, a girl in Kai's class. Her name must have been between Faith and Hope.  From what Kai tells me, she is kind-hearted though seemed to have a liking for that narcissistic company. They belonged to the same faith, it was probably the foundation of their tight relationship.

They walked by and she smiled at me, like, genuinely. You could feel the warmth of her smile. Next to her radiant gesture was that idiot-  passed me like I wasn't even his countryman.

By the time I reached the back gate, I noticed Rachel who was waiting for me. I had not known why. She exchanged words with that narcissistic Angolan wannabe Patrice Lumumba and his friend and then graced them with a goodbye embrace.

Rachel: Hey.

Jk: you ain't gonna start crying again, will you?

Rachel: no, I just wanted to walk with you, today. 

Jk: just walk... I see... So, you won't talk... Just walk... Works for me.

Rachel: Why do you always push people away. Kai is the only friend you have. I want to be your friend. 

Jk: I'm not asking for friends otherwise I would have had a Facebook account ... No new friends... I'm down with my day one nigga. 

Rachel: really, you think you got it all figured out, don't you? 

Jk: look... I'm not Kai, if you looking for him.  If you want to know something, I ain't snitching. 

Rachel: Oh my gosh, you so defensive [laughing]. Here, take my hand. Consider me your new friend and don't pretend I know there's a soft spot in you. [Which was her way of saying, thank you]. 

Jk: whatever [I shook her hand]. So why do you want to walk with me? 

Rachel: hangout. 

Jk: here comes Kai. 

Kai: Well, Well... I'm glad the two of you are getting along. The last day of the school week does bring the best in us, ain't it. 

Rachel: it's Friday! [she yelled excitedly]. No more school for the next two days.

Kai: Praise God for that. [sounding enthusiastic for the weekend]

Rachel: Amen!

Jk: must admit this year was a blast, I got all the certificates exce ̶ 

Kai & Rachael: except for Afrikaans [laughing out loud] 

Jk: yeah it seems it's the only subject most Angolans ain't good at. 

Rachel: speak for yourself, Kai does well in Afrikaans.

Jk: yeah, he does since he's no longer one of us.

Kai: una Fada.

Jk: huh forget!

Kai: Jk, do you recall earlier this year when that narcissistic Angolan wannabe Thomas Sankara kid went one on one with THE AFRIKAANS TEACHER, and the whole class was at his side when the deputy principal took him back to the Afrikaans classroom. The learners in 10E are hardcore. 10E has always had a reputation for bearing rebels.

Jk: word, she was so angry on the following day she sent the entire class to the hall and she was absent for like 2 or 3 days. That dude is a show-off. 

Rachel: o c'mon even you couldn't pick an argument with the Afrikaans teacher and you were once in grade 10E. He's like an Avenger and you are like a low budget Batman, like a low budget. 

Jk: whatever... Don't matter, I'm leaving this year. I got big plans.

Kai: like, staying at home with an ice cream bucket and watching Titanic or some other chick flick. Seriously though, you had to constitute a reputation and he just strides in and overthrows you. He thinks like a Freemason.

Jk: una Fada!

Kai: abeg… Forget.

Rachel: you guys are deep into this Nigerian Pidgin, anyway, the word is he also leaving. A lot has happened this year, wasn't it earlier this year, like a month or two ago that Thabo Mbeki got fired? 

Jk: yep, like in September or something.

Kai: yeah [laughing out loud] that dude got fired, like, he works at MacDonald's or something. 

Jk: South Africans are crazy but in a good way. Firing the president- Kai imagine, our president being fired by the people. 

Kai: that will never happen... My guess is he will be the first president to peacefully die in power. 

Rachel: typical African leaders, who seek power for self-gain. 

Jk: I didn't know you were a politician. 

Rachel: you don't have to be a politician to know what is going on. Look at this country... A president got fired and a corrupt one will succeed and soon we will start load-shedding.

What's next?

Jk: well… it might not probably rain in Cape Town for three years. 

Kai: true… on the corrupt thing. JK, you are on your own on that rain thing [sounding sorry], and besides, corruption is like bacteria. I heard Juju was marching with the poor and he was wearing a Rolex.

Jk: that nigga will do anything just to be called a revolutionary. 

Rachel:  well if he dies he might be, look at Hector, it's because of him we have Youth day. 

Kai: just picture that... Malema Day. Mad! [this is the part where we turned back our heads and laughed]. 

Rachel: Obama will be the first Black US president, that's like having a white president here in the future. [we laughed at that joke]

Kai: and he was called the mixed-race candidate when he was running ̶ comedians were dissing him and then he won and now they are like "my nigga!". [Rachel laughed hysterically]

Rachel: I wonder how long he will stay in power.

Jk: well let's put it this way if he is still in power after 8 years then he is truly an African. 

Kai: True dat, I read this article, online. You won't believe but when our president became the president, Obama was finishing grade 12.

Rachel: what!?

Jk: I'm not surprised, what does surprise me is that none of these Forever Presidents write books on how to Die in Power, I would buy and read it. [it wasn't a joke but they laughed]  

Kai: though the Xenophobia attacks were no joke, man.

Jk: and the fact that the media tagged it as xenophobia is ludicrous!

Rachel: if it's not xenophobia then what is it called! [Rachel argued]

Kai & Jk: GENOCIDE!

Rachel: Okay, guys calm down.

We spent our time together talking about unimportant stuff like that as we walked to Athlone train station. Besides the commotion of commuters now and then, this part of Athlone was one of the calmest. The train station was packed which meant that we had not missed our train. Kai and Rachel were doing the whisper and giggle game which meant I had to leave.

Three is a crowd.

I stood behind the yellow line on the platform facing the opposite platform. A middle-aged man pointed at the coat of arms of Spes Bona on my school blazer and gave me a thumbs up. He must have been a former pupil. I returned the salute and then noticed the coat of arms. I wish I could have gazed at it longer. I had not known it was going to be the last time I would wear the school uniform of an institution that bore legends. 

Aboard the train, I was looking at the landscape out the window when a ticket monitor walked into our carriage. She moved from one passenger to another requesting a first-class ticket or as they now claim; Metro Plus. Rachel looked completely worried, none of us had first-class tickets. "Tickets please...", she was awfully serious as she stretched out her hand to receive the ticket which none among us had. "Would you be so kind as to carry on, everything here is under control, thank you", I gave her a mirthful smile which she returned and proceeded to the next passenger. "What just happened!?", asked a bewildered Rachel, "how did you do that, Jk?", she persisted. "It comes with being Jk, let it go", Kai attempted to mollify her curiosity.

After a moment of awkward silence, "Jk, thank you for what you did for me earlier today… at school", she blushed, "sure. Kai would have done it but would have been gang-raped by now and the thought of it gives me nausea", "una-fada!", exclaimed Kai.

"I am staying single for as long as possible!", Rachel convinced herself. Kai supported her at the decision though he looked mildly disappointed. This lot had been friends since grade two.

After several failures in keeping a job back in the day, Mr Mazayi was left with no option but to move his family to the Cape Flats. Kai was transferred to Cornflower Primary School, the cradle of their friendship. 

It was at the same school I met Kai, well, I, a street kid was roaming about till I passed at the school. I was playing along the fence that enclosed the school ground. Kai was being bullied by some kid called Chicken, obviously, I was no help from where I stood, Rachel ran to get help. I struggled over the fence and instead of jumping down, I dropped on Chicken. Now I was not strong or anything to that effect, though my bark was stronger than my bite, and being a street kid was intimidating to the bullies. Chicken brushed the dirt from his red and white uniform as quickly as possible as he could and ran off with his lot behind him.

Mrs Theron, a teacher who I came to dislike years later, came to kai's aid though when she arrived the situation was misunderstood. Luckily, Rachel being a loudmouth even at grade two was able to convince Mrs Theron of my benevolent intentions. After that event, I would regularly visit them during intervals.

"Nothing like being single", Kai faked the fact, though, in all honesty, the best relationship advice is to remain single. It's a Drama Free package, with more time for me, no burden, and no load. Unfortunately, Kai wanted all that came with a relationship and was stuck in the friend zone. Rachel was like the foolish friend in all the high school movies who realizes that the one she truly loved was always the one standing next to her. As much as I pretended not to like the company, I enjoyed having them around. Like my own High School, without the Musical.

The situation was awkward, Kai loved her but was supporting her in being a hermit while he had done so much for her yet she was too oblivious to notice. Amid this saga, as I sat opposite them watching their mouths speak facts their hearts were contrary to. I could not withhold myself from laughter, it was classically epic. Kai noticed I was about to explode though pleaded sympathy when we exchanged looks.

By the time we approached Pinelands metro station, the conversation had gotten personal therefore I remained quiet and focused on the view outside. 

 "Jk, you will be at the Waterfront tomorrow, right? Why don't you join us at the Two Oceans Aquarium.", Kai dragged me into their conversation. Well, my answer was no, though, "I'll think about it...", I replied. "I'll invite Rushka Thornton. We could pair up...", Rachel beamed at the idea. "why her?", I frowned. "because she is hot, fun and has had a crush on you since grade 9", replied Rachel. "huh!?", was all I managed. "well, that settles it, then.", the excitement on her face was blinding. 

We got off at Maitland train station, Kai and Rachael took the 95 off to the Cape Flats. I don't know why; I didn't live in Maitland so what was I doing there. Besides, the only person I knew who lived in Maitland was Kai who was going to spend the night at Rachel's since he agreed to help her father with a broken engine. I was about to plug my earpiece as I was heading for the stairs to leave the train station and suddenly this school girl probably a grade 12 learner with a sort of Scottish-African accent walks up to me with that look as if she knew me all her life. 

Girl: how are you doing Juda Kufu? 

Jk: huh? 

Girl: I take it you are well. 

Jk: excuse me but do I know you? 

Girl: you probably... don't remember.

Jk: listen if this is one of those Shuks Tshabalala pranks you can go away.

Girl: Not very friendly, but no this is not Shuks. Look, Juda, do not leave this train station, get to your platform and go straight home.

Jk: okay mum and after that would you care for tea? I don't know you and I ain't taking orders from you! You heard?

Girl:  don't!

Jk: una-fada!

I should have listened to the stranger. I was next to a pub about to cross the road when a mauve-coloured BMW X5 with the License plate "666 F-WIDOW" parked a few meters from where I stood. A woman got out of the X5, probably in her late 20s, dark hair, pale skin, Dutch facial expression and coming for me with a custom painted revolver in her right hand. I began to run, crossed the road (almost got knocked by red Hyundai Getz. Really!? a Hyundai Getz?), jumped over a wall, took a left, jumped into a yard and out to the main gate, took another left. The Dutch lady shot and missed as I made it over the corrugated fence. 

"You monkey, stop so I can shoot you better!", I froze for a second. Did this excuse for a female just call me Monkey!? I turned around to... I was knocked on the head and kick to the floor. I managed the hose next to me. I turned it on. The water jetted, causing her to collapse. "That's to wash your dirty mouth", I said with a smug as I aimed for her mouth. 

I jumped over another wall and took an ally. Man! This is what happens when you watch too many movies, you begin to live one. I thought out loud. "Oh... really?", said the Dutch Lady. Man! what do I have to do to get rid of this murderess deranged lunatic! I thought out loud again as I ran as fast I could and yes... yes... There was Maitland High school... 

Pathetic but at that moment it was the best place to hide.  Unfortunately for me I never got there. I was knocked on the legs and hit a few places I don't clearly remember. I was on the ground in absolute pain... The "Dutch" lady spoke in a language unfamiliar to me at the time. It was too painful to understand anything.

Jk: I'm not Dutch so I'm not used to playing your version of Hide & Beat.

Dutch lady: I'm French you fool whot doz my accent sound like.

Jk: David Guetta?

French lady: you sink you funny... Huh... I will beat you until it no longa  hurtz.  Vous comprenzz?

Jk: what do you want lady?

French lady: I don't wont anything, I waz zent ere to kill you!

Jk: why?

French lady: don ask me questions; my job is to kill people but maybe wen I am don killing ze people who zent me to kill you. You can ask zem in ze land of ze dead!

And that was the last of me. I died... I don't know whether this place is Heaven or Hell or worse. I'm just kidding, how would I be telling you this story if I was dead. 

The same annoying grade 12 learner girl at the train station suddenly appeared. Why are all these people suddenly appearing? She produced some sort of light with a sceptre, a sceptre!?, and zapped the Dutch/French lady. She knelt next to me with one knee on the asphalt, grabbed my hand, took a sort of device from her pocket, clicked it and we disappeared.

Jk: ahhh!... Huh?... Did wha-what happen? Where am I? Hey! Where are my clothes!

Girl: how am I supposed to answer all your questions at once.

Jk: if this is Shuks then Leon has taken it too far!

Girl: you do not listen. I told you not to leave Maitland train station. 

Jk: where am I?

Girl: Maquela do Zombu 

Jk: what!? What am I doing in Angola!

Girl: calm down! This is not the time. You need to rest. You were poisoned by the French Widow.

Jk: The French who?

Girl: French Widow. She is the Southern Soldier hired to assassinate you. 

Jk: who are you and why am I here and why am I wanted dead!?

Girl: My name is Makela an ̶

Jk: what a coincidence, Makela has brought me to Maquela.

Makela: not amusing! Like I was saying before I was rudely interrupted. I was sent here by Lubaya the Maditau to bring you here.

Jk: The Maditau? Like the Mother Lion?

Makela: stop talking and start listening! I was told that you are important and that I had to bring you here.

Jk: like for real, is your name really Makela?

Makela: Yes!

Jk: really?

Makela: argh!  Makela is the name I go by!

Jk: and the one you do not go by? The real name?

Makela: Ta-hawa

Jk: so, you Angolan?

Makela: well, not exactly... I'm from the other side.

Jk: of?

Makela: this continent.

Jk: what do you mean?

Makela: look, rest for now I'll tell you more later.