The Palace of God

A day has passed since the Quincy invaded the Soul Society. In the wake of their surprise attack, many shinigami died and much of the Soul Society was destroyed. Currently, Kuroi enters the 12th Division building and walks towards the office of Mayuri Kurotsuchi. He places the two pieces of his Bankai on the table and Mayuri turns around.

"What do you want?" asked Mayuri.

"I need help with fixing my Bankai. I've been trying to meditate, but it won't fix itself," said Kuroi.

"The reason that it's not working is that it's impossible," said Mayuri.

"Impossible! How?" said Kuroi.

"Aren't you a captain? You should know this," said Mayuri.

"You broke your Zanpakuto and fixed it. Why can't I fix mine?" said Kuroi.

"I didn't fix it. I remodeled it. To fix a Zanpakuto, you need the owner's spirit, reiatsu, and time to pour it into the sword," said Mayuri.

"I've been trying to do that for the last few hours, but nothing's working," said Kuroi.

"We're talking about Shikai. If you break it while it's in Bankai, it can not be fixed," said Mayuri.

"It can't be fixed. No way," said Kuroi.

"There are exceptions of course, but you are not close enough to your Bankai for there to be an exception for you," said Mayuri.

"So, I'm screwed huh?" asked Kuroi.

"Well, you may be able to get it fixed. Today is your lucky day," said Mayuri.

"How is it my lucky day?" asked Kuroi.

"The Zero Division is coming," said Mayuri.

"What's that?" asked Kuroi.

"Are you telling me that you don't know who the Zero Division is?" asked Mayuri.

"No one ever told me," said Kuroi.

"Follow me, Kuroi Hono. They will be here in a few minutes," said Mayuri.

Five minutes pass. Kuroi walks up to the wall of Seireitei and sees the captains of the Gotei 13 standing in front of it.

"Shinji, I have a question," said Kuroi.

"What is it?" asked Shinji.

"Where does the Zero Division come from?" asked Kuroi.

"They come from the Soul King's Palace. They're his bodyguards," said Shinji.

"So, are they going to walk through the gate or is there going to be something more extravagant?" asked Kuroi.

"I don't know. I've never met them before," said Shinji.

Seconds after Shinji finishes talking, a large pillar falls from the sky and lands in front of the captains.

"What is this?" asked Kuroi.

"Tenchuren, the Zero Division's means of transportation. The members of Zero Division are in there," said Shunsui.

"How can they pack so many soldiers in such a small place?" asked Kuroi.

"There are only five members in the Zero Division and they are all captains. Their power surpasses us all," said Shunsui.

"Really?" asked Kuroi.

"Yeah, really," said Shunsui.

The pillar slowly opens and reveals the five members of the Zero Division. Instead of being a few very scary-looking and powerful people, they look like absolute goofballs.

"Yaaaay! Here we are, here we are! The Zero Division is here!" exclaimed a slick-haired dude.

"These are the members of the Zero Division. I'm not surprised that the Soul King hasn't been killed yet," said Kuroi.

"Feel pain!" exclaimed the fat woman.

The fat woman winds her hand back and slaps Kuroi, causing his glasses to fly off his face.

"What the hell!" exclaimed Kuroi.

"You shouldn't be rude," said the fat woman.

"It's an accurate statement, you f-," said Kuroi.

Before Kuroi can continue talking, Aoi places his hand on his mouth.

"Don't worry about him, Kirio. He's just a young boy," said Aoi.

The slick-haired man walks up to Unohana and gives her a weird stare.

"It's been a long time, Unohana. How are you? Have you been using the healing techniques that I taught you?" said the slick-haired man.

"Naturally," said Unohana.

'Really! It looks like a bunch of people died here! How come!" exclaimed the slick-haired man.

Before the slick-haired man can continue to berate the healer, the bald monk puts his arm around the slick-haired man.

"Oh well! It's been a long time! You must have a lot of stuff to talk about, but do it later!' exclaimed the bald monk.

"It seems that you guys haven't changed, so why are you here?" asked Aoi.

"Is that boy, Kuroi Hono?" asked the bald monk.

"Yes," said Aoi.

"Following the will of the Soul King, we are going to take him to the palace," said the bald monk.

"Don't be kidding me! I don't care how important you are! You stood there and did nothing to help and you talk about rebuilding! Give me a break!" exclaimed Soi Fon.

"Ignore her. Let's continue," said the bald monk.

"Hey!" exclaimed Soi Fon.

"You're annoying," said the slick-haired man.

Soi Fon turns her head and sees the slick-haired man grabbing her right arm.

"How could he get there?" asked Soi Fon.

"I should say quit it with the jokes. Who are you? The 13 divisions? Our job is to protect the Soul King's palace. Your job is to protect the Seireitei. Gotei means exactly that. It isn't our fault that you can't do your job. You dishonored your name!" said the slick-haired man.

The bald monk slams his fist on the slick-haired man's head before he can continue scolding Soi Fon.

"Damn that hurts!" exclaimed the slick-haired man.

"I said to do it later. We must finish our job first," said the bald monk.

"There's no need. Everybody that was on the list is already here," said the black-haired woman.

Byakuya, Renji, Rukia, and Ichigo sit in the spheres around her, unconscious.

"The only person left is Kuroi Hono," said the black-haired woman.

"Stop. The ones inside those spheres are not healed. They're not ready to leave the Seireitei right now," said Unohana.

"That's why we're taking them with us. You don't have the power to heal them. Byakuya Kuchiki will die if he stays here. You can't do it, so I'll do it. You understand that right, 'Retsu'," said the slick-haired man.

"Dankesu no Kishi is in there. You broke into my lab, didn't you?" said Mayuri.

"I didn't break into it. I just laid my hands on the door and it just opened. The lock was way easier to open than when I was here," said the black-haired girl.

"Why do you need me? I'm not injured enough to need to get healed in the Soul King's palace. I'm fine down here," said Kuroi.

"I know. The reason that we're taking you there is different," said the bald monk.

"We're going to fix my Bankai, aren't we?" asked Kuroi.

"Fixing your Bankai is impossible, but we can make a replica of it," said the bald monk.

"That's all I need to hear. Let's go to the palace," said Kuroi.

An hour and a half pass. The Zero Division, Kuroi, and his friends crash lands at the entrance of the palace. The Zero Division quickly exits the craft while Kuroi takes a longer time to exit it.

"We're here. This is the Soul King's Palace," said the bald monk.

"So, this is the palace. It looks weirder than I thought it would," said Kuroi.

"You should be excited! No normal soul reaper can enter this place! Sorry, it's rude to call you a normal soul reaper," said the bald monk.

"I thought that you needed the King's Key to enter this place," said Kuroi.

"The King's Key is our bones. There are two ways to enter this palace. One, we let you in or two, you come with us. Sosuke Aizen tried to create a key with his power. He wanted to create us, but he couldn't," said the bald monk.

"Would it be possible for someone like you to be created if he killed everyone in Karakura Town?" asked Kuroi.

"No," said the bald monk.

"So, you're telling me that his whole plan was pointless because it wouldn't work," said Kuroi.

"Pretty much," said the bald monk.

"That's funny. He schemed for years, but his scheme would have never worked," said Kuroi.

"Aizen was the personification of evil, but the Quincies are even more wicked than him," said the black-haired woman.

"Are we going to meet the Soul King?" asked Kuroi.

"Why would an average guy like you meet the Soul King? That's nonsense," said the slick-haired man.

"I'm not some average Joe. I was the only one strong enough to defeat Aizen and I did. You should be thanking me. I prevented your deaths," said Kuroi.

"We could have dealt with him," said the slick-haired man.

"I doubt that," said Kuroi.

The slick-haired man turns around and looks at the young soul reaper.

"Are you challenging me, bub?" asked the slick-haired man.

"Maybe I am. Maybe I'm not. We will never know," said Kuroi.

The two soul reapers butt heads.

"So, you are huh? We can end this right here!" said the slick-haired man.

"Maybe we will!" exclaimed Kuroi.

Before they can fight, the bald monk slams his fist on both of their heads.

"Damn! That hurts!" exclaimed the soul reapers.

"We didn't come here to fight over dumb stuff. Your first stop is Tenjiro's hot springs. It will heal you and your friends. Let's get going. We don't have all day," said the bald monk.

Thirty minutes pass. Kuroi now sits in a hot spring with Tenjiro six feet apart because they don't like each other.

"It's kind of pointless that I'm here. I'm fine," said Kuroi.

"I need to look over your friends, so that's why we're here. You should be glad that you're relaxing in the warm water," said Tenjiro.

"So, where are they?" asked Kuroi.

"They're in here," said Tenjiro.

Tenjiro sticks his hand into the water and pulls out Renji by his hair.

"Why are you holding him like a turnip?" asked Kuroi.

"Do you want me to grab him by another part of his body?" asked Tenjiro.

"I would rather not see that," said Kuroi.

As the two soul reapers continue to relax in the hot springs, a pair of cheeks rise to the top of the springs.

"Why is Rukia naked!" exclaimed Kuroi.

"Her towel must have fallen off. Shouldn't you be happy to see some cheeks?" asked Tenjiro.

"Shut up!" exclaimed Kuroi.

"Your friends are under us because their reiatsu is wounded," said Tenjiro.

"There reiatsu are wounded?" asked Kuroi.

Tenjiro points at another hot spring.

"Look at that hot spring. I'll throw Byakuya in there after his blood is sucked here. The blood is sucked by the skeleton bone and then replenished in the blood pond hell. By repeating this a few times, the rotten blood and reiatsu are sucked out substituted with this hot spring water. This is my healing technique," said Tenjiro.

"How long will it take?" asked Kuroi.

"Probably a few days if we start right now," said Tenjiro.

Tenjiro grabs Byakuya from under the water and throws him into the other hot springs.

"What the hell are you doing! You're going to kill him!" exclaimed Kuroi.

"I've done this a thousand times. He'll be fine. What did I tell you about letting your towel fall off!" said Tenjiro.

Kuroi looks down and sees that his towel is floating in the water and his meat is out.

"Sorry," said Kuroi embarrassingly.

Two hours pass. Now, Kuroi is no longer just relaxing in the hot springs. He is currently underwater, nearly drowning.

"Ninety-one. Ninety-two. Ninety-three. Ninety-," said a man.

Before the man can continue to count, Kuroi has had enough and kicks him in the face. He then bursts out of the water and takes a deep breath of the fresh air.

"You fail, idiot! Even a kid could do that!" exclaimed Tenjiro.

"What do you mean! It's supposed to be chin-deep! I was going to drown down there!" exclaimed Kuroi.

"If you were going to drown, I would save you. Kazuo! Kazuhiro! Hold him down again!" said Tenjiro.

"Yes, Aniki!" exclaimed Kazuhiro.

The two men grab Kuroi and try to force him back underwater.

"Get off me dammit!" exclaimed Kuroi.

"Don't get mad at us boy! We're just doing our jobs!" exclaimed Kazuo.

"I won't let you!" exclaimed Kuroi.

"Damn boy!" exclaimed Kazuhiro.

"Wait," said Tenjiro.

Kuroi turns around and catches a right hook to the face. He takes the hit and lands on the ground. He quickly gets back up and angrily stares at Tenjiro.

"What the hell are you doing!" exclaimed Kuroi.

"You're healed. You would have died if you weren't," said Tenjiro.

"You were going to kill me!" exclaimed Kuroi.

"Relax. I knew you were healed. Now, it's time to send you to the next place," said Tenjiro.

"Wait! We're going too!" exclaimed Renji and Ichigo.

"Renji, Ichigo, why are you up? You're still injured," said Kuroi.

"If your friends want to join, then I have to test them," said Tenjiro.

Tenjiro walks up to the two soul reapers and punches them both in the stomach, destroying some of the background. Tenjiro is shocked that they have both not flown away from his punch.

"We didn't fly away. We're good to go," said Renji.

"Fine. If you guys can resist a punch from me, you can go," said Tenjiro.

"Thanks for healing us. You're pretty-," said Ichigo.

Before Ichigo can finish speaking, the three soul reapers are launched into the air.

"Do you believe that they can get through the entire palace?" asked Kazuo.

"I don't know, but they are skilled. Now, get out of the springs before you kill yourselves," said Tenjiro.

"Yes, sir," said Kazuo and Kazuhiro.