Shot Through The Heart

"Yeah, yeah it's me…" I confirm, looking at Kane's slack jawed expression and moist eyes. Taking in his features, I'm expecting to feel some sort of warm emotion, maybe even fatherly love—but I do not. Looking at the man who was the only person who showed any interest in me as a child, the man who taught me necessities like reading and writing, to even speak… there's not much of anything there.

No feelings of nostalgia or general warmth, no feeling of anger, no feeling of resentment or anything of the sort.

It wasn't indifference, but I just couldn't bring myself to care about him as I used to. I forgave him for not fighting for me as much as he should have long ago. I harbored no ill will towards him, the past is the past.

He may have been a fatherly figure towards me at one point, but he wasn't my father. Matthew was the only man who could ever hold that title in my life. 

"That young woman, the Heda…" He stopped to gather himself, trying to remember his time with Lexa. "She mentioned your name, but I thought that perhaps I had misheard…" Marcus said quietly, almost to himself. "James, I believed you were dead."

I nodded my head at that, my features a near perfect reflection of solemnity. With my wrist transponder taken the first day, probably destroyed, I knew that the Ark believed that I was dead. At the time, I was angry at them for what they did to me, I didn't care what happened to them or how they felt. Hell, I still don't, but it isn't anger that makes me feel that way, not anymore.

I'm no longer one of their people, not that I ever really was. My people were here on the ground. They had welcomed me with open arms when the people on The Ark did not.

"I did die… in a way." He flinched slightly at my response, but I continued onward. "When I 'landed', I wasn't the same boy as I was when I left The Ark." 

"What do you mean?" Kane asks confusedly with a frown upon his aged face. Kane had always been a very logical man, a realistic man, so it didn't surprise me when he didn't understand what I meant immediately.

"You and the council had sent a nine year old boy down to Earth just to see if radiation would have killed him." I say calmly. "Not only that, but a nine year old boy who didn't have a single chance in hell to survive on his own. I had no knowledge about hunting, farming, foraging, or of anything even remotely familiar. What you all did to me, that was a death sentence. If the radiation didn't kill me, how long did you think I could survive before I died of either starvation or dehydration?"

My words seemed to make Kane's eyes moisten a little more before dropping his head in shame. Him and the council didn't care if he died at all, they just wanted to save their own hides.

"Luckily, the Earth just happened to be inhabited. They accepted me, they wanted me. For the first time in my short life, I felt as though I had a home." I finish with more passion than I realized. Kane was still hanging his head in shame, making no notion whether or not he was even listening to me—and that made me mad.

"Are you even listening, Marcus?" I don't know if I used his first name as a form of disrespect, or if I used it to show that I wasn't that same helpless little boy anymore. "And you know what else? Down here I found a father. Someone who prepared me for the world I now call my home, someone who I know would fight for me if he needed to. Unlike you, Marcus, he actually cared about me. You know what's even worse? You did it all again with a hundred more kids ten years later." I practically hissed out at him. 

Apparently, I cared more about what happened than I liked to admit. But as quickly as the feelings of anger and contempt had appeared, they disappeared. All that was left were feelings of disgust and disappointment. 

Even when faced with my surprising burst of anger, Marcus Kane, Senior Councilman and Jaha's right hand man, was just too ashamed of himself to lift his face and look me in the eye.

Shaking my head at his cowardice, I stand up and move to the door. With two quick knocks against the cool iron, Lexa opens the door for me and I step out of the cell without looking back. As soon as I left the cell, Lexa closed the door again before turning to me with eyes brimming with concern.

"Are you okay?" She asks softly, taking in the tense way I held myself.

"I'm alright, Lexa. I guess he's just not the man I remember him to be." I respond quietly, rubbing my forehead with two fingers. What I said was true, he wasn't the man that I remember. I remember Marcus Kane being strong and unwavering… the man in that cell was just pathetic.

Taking my free hand in hers as I return the torch to the wall, I can feel the tense muscles in my shoulders ease pleasantly. Her touch always seemed to have this effect on me, it was calming. As we leave the prison, my mask back on my face, I fill her in on everything that was said in the dark cell. 

"What a coward! He hasn't seen you in nearly eleven years after sending you to your death and he doesn't even have the decency to look you in the eye?" She ground out harshly, her Heda mask doing only so much to hide the raw fury behind her captivating bluish green eyes.

Humming in agreement, I begin thinking about what to do with the older man. He can't exactly stay in the cell forever, well, I mean he could, technically… but I highly doubt Lexa would be satisfied with him rotting in a cell. 

She would ultimately let me have final say on whatever the plan is, but I don't know if I really like that responsibility. Thinking about it, she would probably even let him go if I asked her to, but she wouldn't like it. Should I just kill him? Have someone else kill him in my place? I bet Lexa would love to do the honors. 

Whatever I decide, it'll have to be decided on another day. After my meeting with Kane, my thoughts have been a jumbled mess, and that's on top of how I was still feeling the effects of hundreds of innocent lives taken by hand.

More than once, I've heard whispers of a new title from the random passersby here in Polis—Maun Slayer, they would call me. As if one title just wasn't enough. I'm just glad I never got a title for killing that Pauna. Lexa has no doubt heard the whispers as well, but I'm willing to bet that she's waiting to hear what happened at the mountain directly from me before making any kind of decision.

Sighing to myself, I know that I would have to talk with her about what's plaguing me sooner or later. 

Barely noticeable, I saw her shoot a quick side eye to me when she heard the sigh. Now I just know that she's going to confront me about what's bothering me once she finally gets me all to herself again.

As much as I want to say I minded, I didn't. Lexa has always been the most caring person I know, and that's just one of the many reasons that I love her. Besides, it's not really like I would talk to anyone else about this stuff. 

It was still only about noon when we reached the nightblood training area. When we arrived, we quickly spotted John and Ontari engaged in a fierce battle, with a few of the younger nightbloods giggling off to the side of the arena. Chuckling lightly as well, I see Lexa's eyes narrow in annoyance. 

"John! Get over here!" I call out, eager to witness a tongue lashing of another sort…

Hearing my voice, John looks over at Lexa and I before frantically disentangling himself from underneath Ontari. Walking over to us, a few of the older nightbloods began laughing and the younger ones ran off to continue their training. 

Standing in front of us, Murphy's cheeks were burning red and was pointedly avoiding Lexa's eyes while looking at me pleadingly.

"Hey, don't look at me." I say amusedly, gesturing for him to look at Lexa instead. At that, Lexa's gaze narrowed further and John wilted under her look of ire. I just smiled and waited for the show to begin.

"What the hell do you think you are doing, Murphy?" She started heatedly, taking a step towards John. "Do you not understand the importance of a nightbloods training time? Did you forget that they all eventually have to fight to the death?" 

Hearing her words, John nearly looked as ashamed as Kane did earlier. He actually did honestly forget about the conclave and he began to feel bad. 

"There is a time and place for such activities, John. And during a nightblood's training time, at the very grounds they are to be training at, is not the time nor place! She nearly yelled at him, trying and failing to keep her voice down so she doesn't interrupt the other nightblood's time more than what already has been. "You are my Shield's representative, and in turn, mine! You are sending the wrong message to those who seek to dismantle my reign as Heda!" 

Nodding along with her words, I plant my spear into the ground, cross my arms over my chest, and send him a glare of my own.

Hearing Lexa yell at John was quite the rare occurrence, but she had a point. There were countless spies from different clans hanging around polis. Some I would guarantee were watching right this very second. There was a time when I was younger and Lexa and I almost kissed during a sparring session out here, but we were inexperienced back then and weren't really fully aware of our feelings at the time.

There was that one time that Lexa and I made out during a sparring session, but that was in a private training area where it was just the two of us.

"If you were anyone else, John, you would be replaced immediately. Lucky for you, my Shield and I hold you in such high esteem. So instead, I shall just have to dish out your punishment in a more entertaining way. Go pick up your sword where you so carelessly left it. You and I are going to spar." Lexa said with a tone of self satisfaction and retreating anger.

Hearing that, John audibly gulped before running back to grab his weapon. I couldn't help but raise my eyebrows at how she was going to punish him, not that I didn't really expect it. I knew she wouldn't dismiss John from his position over his first real mistake as my second. 

"You know…" I lean in to whisper huskily, "there was a time where you and I were very close to a similar situation." 

Lexa's cheeks immediately started to redden into an absolutely adorable blush, but she didn't show any other sign that she heard me and began walking towards John at his sparring circle. Following behind her, I stop at the sidelines with a grin. 

John hasn't had the chance to Spar with Lexa. This would be the perfect opportunity to see how far he has come in his training. Looking at John, I could see he was nervous, his jaw clenched tightly. The funny part was that he thought that it was only Lexa's punishment that he'd have to deal with. "After Lexa's done with you, you and I are going to spar as well."

Hearing that, John visibly paled but didn't take his eyes off his opponent. I chuckled darkly at that. He was in for a very long day.

Soon after, Lexa charged at John ferociously, her dual blades spread out by her sides. She reached him far quicker than he thought she would, ducking under one of his panicked swings. I cringed, I knew what she was going to do before she even did it. "Poor bastard." I uttered under my breath.

Immediately after she dodged his swing, she hooked an ankle behind his, grabbed his shoulder, and swiftly slammed him into the packed dirt in one fluid motion. I could tell he just had the air rocked out of him with that fall. She wasn't done there, though. She quickly capitalized on his downed form, landing a mean right hook to the side of his face with one of her swords in hand. 

After the punch connected, Lexa stepped back from John a dozen paces. "Get up." I hear her say, her jaw set. 

'I don't think this is just about John's screw up' I realize, thinking about how mad she was with Kane's shameful actions. She needed an outlet, and John just so happened to be the one to set her off. I know another way she can get a release, but I don't think she's in that mindset at the moment. That, sadly, will have to wait…

Slowly but surely, John stood up and grabbed his sword up off the ground. He didn't wait for her to rush this time, choosing to rush her instead. Quickly getting within reach of Lexa, their blades immediately clash in a fierce whirlwind of steel. 

Even though John was the one to initiate the confrontation, he soon found himself on the backfoot. Lexa was just toying with him, her face set in stone as she batted aside every single one of his attacks, not taking any of the numerous openings that popped up in his defense. To John, it was as if her defense was an impenetrable wall that he just couldn't hope to get past. 

While he was fast, she was faster. While he was smart, she was smarter. While he was skilled, he was still a blundering child in front of his Heda. 

Before long, she soon got tired of playing with him, her body not being nearly as tense as it was when she called him out to spar. She was using him as a way to get out her aggression, nothing more. Smacking his sword out of his hand with one of her own, she ended the fight with a very anticlimactic smack to the side of his head with the pommel of one of her blades.

The strike didn't knock him out, but it still sent him reeling to the ground with one hand holding his head. 

Making eye contact with Lexa, she sent me a small smile and a nod, which I returned. Then, she stepped out of the sparring circle to stand at the side, her hands crossed behind her back. 

Walking up to John, I take a look at the red spot on the side of his head where Lexa hit him. At glance, I could tell that it would turn into a pretty nasty bruise, but he'd be fine. "Well, did I live up to your expectations?" John said sarcastically, shooting me a wry smile that gave me a good look at his bloody teeth. 

Seeing the damage that Lexa did to John with that punch to the face, I let out a deep bellied laugh that caused John to scowl. "Contrary to the outcome of your spar, you did remarkably well for someone who hasn't even been using a sword for very long." I let my laughter die down and gave him a compliment. "Your form when striking against Lexa's blades was very good. It just so happens that your opponent is one of the best warriors around, with only myself or maybe a few others being able to beat her in a one on one battle." 

I knew that Lexa heard my comment because I could literally feel her narrowed eyes pierce into the back of my head. Being able to beat me was still one of her goals after all.

"Alright, get up." I say neutrally, lowering my hand for him to grab. Taking my hand he pulls himself up off the ground.

Walking to the other side of the arena, I turned and faced my opponent, who was no longer weaponless, having picked up his sword as I was walking to my side. Seeing me unarmed, he had a confused look on his face. "Aren't you going to grab your spear?" He asked, noticing that my spear was still stuck in the ground where I placed it.

Shaking my head in the negative, I explain why. "Nah, I'm going to go easy on you this time. You will be fighting with your sword, and I will be fighting unarmed." I haven't fought against him unarmed before, so he gave me a rather suspicious look in response.

"Won't that be unfair?"

"Nope." I replied cheekily, watching as his suspicion only grew.

Deciding to do a quick little warm up movement, I shook out my arms and hopped up and down a few times. Once I was finished, I got into my stance and told him to 'come on' with a four finger gesture.

Understanding that I was ready and waiting for him, he came running at me in a fast sprint. As soon as he got into range, he slashed his sword down in a heavy downward swing. If it would have hit me, it easily could have been a fatal blow. With the speed of a snake strike, I smacked away his sword by hitting the side of the blade with the back of my hand, and then performed a strong jab that snapped his head back and stopped his momentum completely. Following up my jab, I swiftly struck him in the ribs with the same hand I smacked his sword away, which allowed me to easily transition that smack into a debilitating strike. 

After my short combo, I watched with amusement as my second collapsed to the ground with a groan, his arms encircling his waist, blood leaking from his nose to his lips.

***

With the long day finally coming to an end, I find myself lying next to Lexa in her bed. It wasn't time to sleep though, I knew she wanted to talk to me, or rather, for me to talk to her.

Rolling over so I could get a better look at her, I nearly forgot what it was that I was going to say. She was wearing her black satin nightgown that hugged her figure perfectly. Looking at me intensely with those beautiful eyes of hers, she waited for me to begin my story of what happened within the mountain.

It didn't only have to be said tonight because I knew that she cared about me and her concern was only growing the longer I waited, but also because I promised her that tomorrow morning would be when we will ride out to the bunker together.

Once I finally returned to Polis, Lexa had ordered about a hundred of her men to go and clean out the bunker of any dead bodies to prepare for our arrival.

Ignoring my arousal that her beauty had caused, I began to speak. "After my capture, I was stuck in a cage for more than a week, unable to do anything but watch as those monsters were bleeding our people dry." Pausing to quell my rising anger, I continue with a comforting look from Lexa. 

"I was just so, so, so very angry. They treated us like we were just dead animals after a hunt." I could see that my words were making her angry as well, but she's dealing with it much better than I was. "When I escaped, I captured the president, and that's when I found Clark." I explained how I used the president as a hostage and took over the control room, how I taunted his son before I shot the president in the head, and how I told Clark to go and get Monty. 

"... and when they were gone, it was just me and the two control guys, that's when I made the difficult decision to kill Roy…" 

Lexa looked at me in confusion at the mention of Roy's name. "Who is Roy?" She asks curiously. I never brought up Roy to Lexa before, the memory was just too painful.

I let out a sad sigh before speaking again. "He is no one but a sad memory now…" 

She raises her eyebrow at that, but doesn't comment further. It's for the best, really, I don't even know why I brought him up in the first place.

"When Monty and Clark returned to the control room, I had Monty lock down the elevator so no one could reach us. Once I knew that we were in the clear and our next act would go on undisturbed, I requested Monty to reverse the oxygen scrubbers, which would ultimately fill the bunker with radiation."

I could see Lexa's eye light up in understanding, now realizing why I haven't really been myself since then.

"I killed them all, Lexa... " I said softly, my voice barely audible. "All the men, women, and even the children. I was just so mad. I blamed them all for what was being done."

Seeing the haunted look in my eyes, she scooted over and wrapped her arms around my chest, placing her head onto the crook of my neck. "Yu did chit yu had kom do. Yu laik a good man. Yu laik ai man. Beja remember bilaik." She spoke firmly, nuzzling her face against my skin and squeezing me tightly.

"Ai hod yu in so much, Leksa." I whisper passionately, kissing the top of her head.

***

The next morning, Lexa and I could be found riding towards the mountain with two guards following behind us. I would have brought John, but I felt kind of bad for yesterday, so I told him he could stay back with Ontari. The only stipulation was that the training grounds stay for training only. 

Being only about ten miles out of Polis, the atmosphere is light. The two guards behind us are riding silently, but Lexa and I are discussing promising nightbloods and the refugees. Today is when a lot of them would become seconds and be integrated into our society.

"Raven and Monty could be a great help with understanding the inner workings of the bunker and the large Ark piece that is camp Ja-" 

I trail off as I notice three men step out in front of us from the treeline along the road. "Stay close to me." I whisper to Lexa. Looking behind us, I notice another three men on the road. 

Just as I'm about to instruct the two guards with us, an arrow pierces through the neck of one of them. With the death of one of our guards, me, Lexa, and the other guard, all hop off our horses and prepare for a fight. 

I try scanning the treeline for the archer, but the small window closes quickly as the three men ahead of us begin to rush. 

As the first assassin reaches me, I mutter a quick curse under my breath as I realize we aren't dealing with the average warriors. These guys are very well trained.

Trained to be an elite or not, I am the Shield Gon Hedas, and I will not allow them to hurt Lexa.

Blocking several strikes from one of the assassins, another joins his companion and comes at me two on one. Twirling my spear around my body, I situate myself into a position that I can use my superior reach as an advantage. Thankfully, they are only using a single sword each, making it much easier to defend against them.

Nimbly parrying one of the assassin's strikes, I spot an opening in his defense and neatly thrust my spear straight into his chest. Not wanting to waste any time removing my deeply embedded spear, I grab the assassin's fallen sword and turn on his companion. 

I trade a few blows with him and come to one conclusion. He's good, but I'm better. 

The next time our blades meet, I skillfully bat it aside before surgically separating the skin of his throat with his companion's weapon.

With my two adversaries dealt with, I promptly look around for Lexa. She had dealt with her assassin a bit before I finished off the ones I was dealing with. I immediately spot her facing off against the last two assassins by herself. 

Rushing over to her, I viciously enter the battle by running one of them through from behind. With only one to deal with, Lexa easily dispatches him soon after.

With the immediate threat dealt with, I frantically look around and scan the treeline for the archer. I didn't forget about him for a single moment. With his companions so close to Lexa and I, he wasn't able to have a clean shot. 

Our guard had long since fallen, having taken one of the assassins down along with him.

Spotting the archer peeking out from behind a thick tree, I quickly realize that he's aiming at Lexa's exposed back, his bow string pulled taut ready to fire. Without hesitation or even thinking about what I'm going to do, my body just reacts as if it was on autopilot. 

Dropping the sword, I sprint and dive in front of Lexa, and in front of the arrow that was sailing gracefully towards her.

A piercing and growing pain erupts violently in my chest. Hitting the ground hard, I begin struggling to breath, my vision immediately starting to grow spotty. Before I can comprehend it, all I can see is black.

I feel my eyes growing heavy, and just as I drift off to a peaceful slumber, I hear someone screaming my name—their voice drenched in horror.

***

Maun = Mountain

Yu = you

Chit = what

Kom = to

Laik = are

Ai = I/my (depending on context)

Beja = please

Bilaik = that

Hod = love

Leksa = Lexa